The chair I'm sitting on is cold and hard. The lights seem brighter and harsher and are making tiny sparkles dance behind my eyes. The laughing of the Dauntless around me seems louder and yet I don't feel like laughing. I don't feel like joining in the game of cards they have going on the table. I feel like running away.
My hands are sweaty and I keep wiping them on my pants to dry them off. I envy the other Dauntless around me, they all seem so confident, so brave, like they all know that they will be coming back here. I don't know where I'll be going. I've never said it out loud but I don't feel like I belong here in Dauntless. Ever since I was young. The Dauntless train you from birth to be fearless and tough and essentially, to be Dauntless. Born Dauntless people don't tend to transfer. They all feel like they belong. I don't. I never wanted to fight and I couldn't be tough, I had never in my life felt like I belonged in Dauntless. Now I can feel my hands shaking and I wipe them on my pants again. My fear of the aptitude test just confirms my fears that I am not meant for dauntless. An Abnegation volunteer steps forward to read the names of the next test subjects. Dauntless is read first, it's Amy Smith and then I almost choke, Dawn Knight.
My knees almost buckle as I stand. Amy is excited, it's etched on every feature of her face. Her blonde pony tail is literally bouncing. I shove my hands into my jean pockets to stop them from shaking. I don't hear the rest of the names as I follow behind Amy. A tattoo of a constellation of stars peeks out of the back of her black tee-shirt. I don't have any tattoo's, I guess I'd never been brave enough to get any. We're led by the Abnegation volunteer to a corridor with ten rooms. Amy and I are split and I'm led into one of the rooms off the corridor. An Abnegation person sits on a chair besides a chair reminiscent of one you would find in a dentist's office. She smiles at me. She has mousy brown hair tied back from her face in a tight bun and the same grey clothes that I see on all of the Abnegation, it's difficult to tell them apart. The rooms walls are covered with mirrors and I'm reflected back at myself from every angle. I look white against the black of my clothes, like I'm close to fainting, my short chocolate brown hair brushes my shoulders and my blue eyes are wide. The Abnegation woman motions to the chair and I lower myself shakily onto it. I have to pull myself together. Right now I am about as far removed from Dauntless as I have ever been,
sitting in this chair and trembling like a leaf. Maybe it's not the farthest I will ever be. I shake that thought from my mind and replace it with the hope that the aptitude test will tell me that I actually do belong in Dauntless and that I don't have to let my parents down by tranferring to another faction. That's what scares me the most. I don't want to let them down. The Abnegation woman busies herself with pressing electrodes to my hands and forehead and to herself. Connecting us both to the machine that stands beside her.
"Does it hurt?" I hear myself ask, completely betraying the black dauntless clothes that now cling to my sweat soaked body. She smiles a small smile, "Not at all, don't worry, it's not as bad as you think." I nod and I can't say any more, my throat seems to have closed up. The Abnegation woman stands behind me now and passes me a clear vial of liquid, "Drink this and then we can begin the test." I take the vial in my hand and foce myself to stop shaking. I breathe out deeply and drink the contents of the vial. For a second I wish that I had asked her what her name is but then I'm in darkness.
My hands are sweaty and I keep wiping them on my pants to dry them off. I envy the other Dauntless around me, they all seem so confident, so brave, like they all know that they will be coming back here. I don't know where I'll be going. I've never said it out loud but I don't feel like I belong here in Dauntless. Ever since I was young. The Dauntless train you from birth to be fearless and tough and essentially, to be Dauntless. Born Dauntless people don't tend to transfer. They all feel like they belong. I don't. I never wanted to fight and I couldn't be tough, I had never in my life felt like I belonged in Dauntless. Now I can feel my hands shaking and I wipe them on my pants again. My fear of the aptitude test just confirms my fears that I am not meant for dauntless. An Abnegation volunteer steps forward to read the names of the next test subjects. Dauntless is read first, it's Amy Smith and then I almost choke, Dawn Knight.
My knees almost buckle as I stand. Amy is excited, it's etched on every feature of her face. Her blonde pony tail is literally bouncing. I shove my hands into my jean pockets to stop them from shaking. I don't hear the rest of the names as I follow behind Amy. A tattoo of a constellation of stars peeks out of the back of her black tee-shirt. I don't have any tattoo's, I guess I'd never been brave enough to get any. We're led by the Abnegation volunteer to a corridor with ten rooms. Amy and I are split and I'm led into one of the rooms off the corridor. An Abnegation person sits on a chair besides a chair reminiscent of one you would find in a dentist's office. She smiles at me. She has mousy brown hair tied back from her face in a tight bun and the same grey clothes that I see on all of the Abnegation, it's difficult to tell them apart. The rooms walls are covered with mirrors and I'm reflected back at myself from every angle. I look white against the black of my clothes, like I'm close to fainting, my short chocolate brown hair brushes my shoulders and my blue eyes are wide. The Abnegation woman motions to the chair and I lower myself shakily onto it. I have to pull myself together. Right now I am about as far removed from Dauntless as I have ever been,
sitting in this chair and trembling like a leaf. Maybe it's not the farthest I will ever be. I shake that thought from my mind and replace it with the hope that the aptitude test will tell me that I actually do belong in Dauntless and that I don't have to let my parents down by tranferring to another faction. That's what scares me the most. I don't want to let them down. The Abnegation woman busies herself with pressing electrodes to my hands and forehead and to herself. Connecting us both to the machine that stands beside her.
"Does it hurt?" I hear myself ask, completely betraying the black dauntless clothes that now cling to my sweat soaked body. She smiles a small smile, "Not at all, don't worry, it's not as bad as you think." I nod and I can't say any more, my throat seems to have closed up. The Abnegation woman stands behind me now and passes me a clear vial of liquid, "Drink this and then we can begin the test." I take the vial in my hand and foce myself to stop shaking. I breathe out deeply and drink the contents of the vial. For a second I wish that I had asked her what her name is but then I'm in darkness.