Hi so my spelling's not great or my punctuation, but I hope you enjoy anyway. Criminal minds does not belong to me and neither do the majority of the characters, some I made up like Cara for instance, but most belong to the makers of Criminal minds

Prologue.

Reid stood in front of the long thin mirror before him, his own reflection making him feel worse. "Today, I'm saying good bye to a friend, today I'm saying good bye to a friend" He muttered over and over to himself, as if he could forget the dark hollow pit in the centre of his heart, that grew every time he thought of his childhood friends sandy blonde hair, and green eyes.

After staring at himself for a few moments he decided there was no way to weasel out of it, that he had to except Joshua was gone. He got in to the big black Suv that had JJ waiting patiently in the front seat. She had agreed to accompany him to the funeral, Morgan was busy and she was probably going to be the most comforting, of all his Bau friends.

When they arrived at the cemetery he couldn't seem to find anyone, until he came across a small group of people huddled together outside of the crematorium. He walked slowly over to the group, trying desperately to spot Mrs. Bailay's face in the rather small crowd of mourners. Just before he gave up he noticed her standing in the centre of the group her head in her hands.

"Mrs Bailay? It's me Spencer Reid, I've come to say goodbye to Joshua and pay my respects" He said, loud enough for her to hear but delicate enough not to upset her anymore. "Oh hello spencer dear, I haven't seen you in an age, thank you for coming, I'm sure Joshy would have wanted you here" She said, tearing up at she said her sons name.

Reid nodded politely at Mrs Bailay, afraid that if he spoke he too would start to cry. JJ noticing his pained expression gently put her arm around Reid's back, rubbing it slightly as if she could ease his pain. He turned to face her and smiled, silently thanking her for her support.

Reid and JJ walked with the other people over to the coffin, and watched silently as they lowered his body to the ground. How many times will I have to watch this, Reid thought to himself, how many times will I have to watch my friends die. A cold tear slid down Reid's soft cheek, the realization that death was a part of life came to him, but he didn't want to except that, one day everyone he loved would be buried, he just wasn't ready.

Just before they stopped lowering the coffin, a girl around the same age as Reid raced into the cemetery and over to the group. She looked over at the coffin and watched it as tears burst from her dark blue eyes; Reid walked over to her and smiled gently. "Hi Cara" He said as he took her into his arms and let her tears stain his nice white shirt.

"Spence, oh Spence, I didn't expect you to be hear" she cried. "I haven't seen you in so long." He pulled away too look into her eyes her dark brown hair longer than it was before, reached all the way to her waist. "I know" he whispered "I'm sorry, I was so busy." He said feeling the need to apologise for his absence. She smiled and fell back into his arms.

Later that night "its ok JJ thanks for coming with me but I have to take Cara home." Reid said looking at JJ but holding Cara in his arms. "But Reid, how will you get home?" JJ said her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to talk sense in to her young friend. "I'll just take the subway in the morning" He grinned. "Fine." JJ muttered, not wanting to give in but knowing she couldn't win this argument, Reid was obviously infatuated with this girl.

Reid and Cara reached Cara's semi small apartment, her Orange and black cat greeted them at the door, meowing at her owner to be fed. Reid gently laid Cara's slim petite body on the coach, and then walked into the kitchen searching for cat food, after a good look he finally found it.

"Reid? Reid?" Cara mumbled as she slowly dragged her drunken body into the kitchen. "Cara, go lie down your pretty drunk you don't want to hurt yourself." He said attentively holding her up to look at him. "Wait, I just need to tell you something, so please listen" she begged wrapping her arms around his neck.

Reid hesitated then nodded "I wanted to tell you, that ever since high school, I have had a thing for you." she said her voice deadly serious. Reid blushed, a dark shade of red, he had also had feelings for Cara, but she was one of the most beautiful girls at school, he felt lucky to even have her as a friend. "And I know it's a bit soon for me to say, but I really really, want to make love to you, and I'm not saying that because I'm drunk, I just need someone and I need to feel love on an intimate level, so please just for one night, can we have some fun?" She asked her smile cheeky but her eyes hopeful.

Reid felt like he could pass out right on the spot, it was so sudden, and he had had such a horrible day, he just didn't expect it. But how could he say no, he had dreamt of it his whole life, even now he would like to think about her. "O-Ok" he stuttered his face bright red. Cara smiled a long sultry smile, and then pulled Reid by the Tie into her bedroom, standing on the cat's tail as she did.