Thoughts About Death
Everything was happening so fast that if she blinked she was sure she'd miss it. It was funny because whenever she tried to recall that instant in her head, after it was all over, it would play out in slow motion.
She was surprised she didn't die of a heart attack. She was surprised that she was able to move when it all happened. There were only two things that could have saved her and she wasn't really sure she believed in god so that left only one.
The water came rushing in. She had to use the air tank and make it up to the surface; that's all her mind allowed her to think of as the water burst through the window. Not that thinking that made any sort of a difference; she only had enough time to put the mask on her mouth before the water blew her back. And she was going to die, she knew it, in that split second she knew what the impact of her head against the wall would do. And all that talk about your life passing through your eyes was just bull shit. The only thing she could see was water and the only thing she could think was 'I'm going to die'. Not that it was exactly a thought at all; it was more like a notion. Like when you see a basketball you don't think 'oh, it's round' because it's so obvious. That's what it meant, seeing death, she didn't think 'I'm going to die'; she knew it.
Except she didn't. She didn't hit the hard wall and she didn't get knocked unconscious. Instead she was blown right onto Fitz. After that she ceased thinking completely. In a high risk moment thinking is unnecessary, you need to do things without thinking or else you will panic and you will hesitate and you will die. When she was out of the container she remembered Fitz. It took her only a split second to realize she already had him. She had grabbed him, she didn't remember it, but she had him. Did she even remember using the oxygen tank? It was strange how everything was so automatic, and how during that moment she didn't think once about the possibility of dying. She just kept at it, kept going.
But afterwards, after it was over, it just didn't process in her mind. She should have died, it didn't make sense. She remembered watching this suspense movie with Fitz and commenting on the impossibility of someone holding their breath underwater for that long in such an intense situation. In a normal situation holding your breath for that long was absurd, let alone in a situation where your heart is beating extremely fast and your body is quickly spending all of its' oxygen. She was completely hurt and bruised from the blast, her heart felt like it would stop, her eyes were burning from the salt, the water was freezing and it should have slowed down her movements, her ears were ringing from the pressure, her lungs and head felt like they were going to burst and she was carrying a body. A body! A whole other person. 90 feet! Possibly more. How? Why?
When she reached the surface: then she thought she was going to die. She could probably live longer if she let go of Fitz, but she didn't once consider that. She knew they were going to die like that and yet she still kept trying. How stupid; to try when it's so futile. But she lived. She was alive; Fitz was alive and for some reason she didn't feel the victory, the relief. There was a catch, there was always a catch; Fitz would never be the same.
There you have it, Chapter 1! Thoughts? Opinions? Well, this this chapter was really only Jemma's thoughts...but expect some dialogue next chapter. :) Edited: I put the title of this chapter on the top, guess I was too tired yesterday and ended up forgetting. :)