AN- I have no idea where this even came from. I guess this has major angst, and slight OOC. Also this will totally ignore everything in book 7. So they never had sex or anything like that. However, the events you need to pay attention to are...Bikky and Cal being older. Lets say in the manga they were 18. I know Carol was older then Bikky in the manga, but for my sake lets just put them at both being 18. So in this story that would make them about 23. I know that Dee had been trying to get to Ryo for like two years. That stays the same. So we'll say Dee has his unfortunate accident their third Christmas together. If you're still a little confused you won't be as time goes on. Anyway...Enjoy!
Warnings: None right now. Soon there will be though.
Pairings: DeexRyo, BerkeleyxRyo, BikkyxCarol
Disclaimer- I don't own Fake
Ryo sighed as he opened the door to the apartment. Walking in he noticed the answering machine blinking. He set his keys on the table by the door, and played the message.
"Hey Ryo. Bikky here. We will be by tomorrow about, oh...five-ish? Carol said she'd bring the other sides if you just make the ham and the stuffing and some kind of cake. I popped the question too, and she said yes! Thanks for the encouragement man. I better go. See ya tomorrow night dad! Oh! One more thing, if you're up to it, we'll be going out to that bar on the corner of 6th and 9th. You don't have to come, but it would be nice. Merry Christmas!"
And with that, the message ended. Ryo smiled bitterly. How long had it been since he had been out of the house for anything other then food and work? He didn't remember.
"It doesn't matter anyhow. It just wouldn't be the same without you."
Ryo went into the kitchen to make sure he had everything ready for Christmas dinner. Checking that he had 2 boxes of stuffing, and the ham in the fridge to thaw. He grabbed a bottled of wine and a glass and sat down by the big apartment window.
Ryo poured himself the glass of wine and looked at the snow falling down on the busy city. People were buying their last minute gifts for their loved ones. He saw some cars with real trees strapped to the roof of the car. He remembered when he and Dee had a real tree once.
"Remember that baby? We had to get rid of it though, because you wouldn't stop sneezing. Oh man was that one Christmas to remember. I had to take the stuff off the tree, haul it down stairs, and go buy a fake one. That was the year Bikky had turned 18 and you took him to his first strip club. I was so mad at you; I wouldn't talk to you for a week. But then, you came home with the real tree, and said you wanted to give me a real family Christmas, and I forgave you immediately. I could never stay mad at you for long. Especially when it came to you showing your sweet side."
Ryo took another sip of wine. This year, like the past years, he had decided that he wouldn't decorate. The only sign of Christmas was a stocking that had Dee and Ryo's name on it written in gold, and with a picture of the two of them on it. The message that was written under the picture read:
'To Ryo with all my heart. I love you, and I want you to know that no matter what, I will love you.'
Yeah, the message was really sappy, but it was the sweet moments with Dee that Ryo loved. When he wanted to, he could be romantic.
Ryo this time looked up towards the sky.
"I went to see penguin the other day. She's not dong well, Dee. She kept having these really bad coughing fits while I was there. Please you make sure that she gets better? There were so many younger kids at the orphanage, Dee. The place was full. Some kids younger then three. I don't want to think about what will happen to them if she were to pass."
Ryo smiled.
"I might just have to take over then."
Ryo knew that he couldn't though. Not with the workload he had. Rose had given him some pretty tough cases over the past few weeks, but Ryo cracked them all. Rose was mighty proud of Ryo. He was proving to be quite the detective.
"Hey Dee? Would you think it crazy if I said that me and Berkeley became friends? I know...you probably don't want me to make friends with the enemy, but over the past few years, he seems to be the only person, outside of the family, I can really talk to; JJ and Drake as well. JJ has become quite handsome. Not that I hit on him or anything. That's Drake's department."
Ryo snickered at the time he had walked in on an intense make-out session between Drake and JJ.
"But you know...out of all the men on this planet...you seem to be one of the only ones who I really loved, and with that said, I hate to tell you this...but me and Rose...well...I kind of like him. I know. I have a crush on the guy, but how couldn't I? He is very sweet, strong, protective, and currently single."
Ryo sighed as he poured himself another glass. The wine bottle was now half full.
"Dee...would you hate me if I wanted to be with Rose? Would you never speak to me again? I know that's silly because technically you can't speak to me, but when I die and come over there with you, would you hate me for it?"
He wasn't sure about himself anymore. He really didn't know where his feelings went concerning his commissioner Berkeley Rose.
"But Dee...you would have done the same to me right? If I died that night and not you...you would have looked for a new love right?"
Ryo tried to be strong. He just wasn't sure if he could be anymore.
"I remember that phone call. On that night. I told you so many times to be careful. Be careful on the roads Dee. The ice is thick, and there is fog. People are stupid on the roads on the holidays, so watch out for other cars."
Ryo swallowed the lump in his throat.
"Then...then I got that call. Around midnight from Drake. He told me...told me that you had been in a bad accident. That the truck didn't see you. You were in his blind spot Dee! You know that if you look in the mirror and you can't see the driver, he can't see you."
Ryo felt the tears that he had been trying to hold back fall.
"Drake said that I should go down to the hospital. He told me...told me that this would be my last moments with you. I was there immediately. Drake said the door had to be cut off to get you out of the twisted metal that used to be your car. He told me...told me that you had lost so much blood, and you were barely conscious. But yet...you still had enough strength to stay awake."
The tears fell harder down his face as he drank that glass of wine in one gulp, and pour himself another.
"Oh God you must have been in so much pain, Dee. Knowing that there was nothing for the doctors to do to save you. Knowing that in any second you would pass. But you kept hanging in there...just to see me one last time, and when I walked into that room...it was silent except for your shallow breathing. Every puff of air being painfully sucked in and blown out. Why didn't you just give up, and let the pain take over? Why did you have to look up at me with those eyes, and tell me directly that you loved me? Why didn't I say it back before you lost your strength and died? Why didn't I do anything about it? You were coming over to see me. It's my fault for calling you at work, and making you leave the Christmas party. My fault for telling you I didn't want to be alone...and that I wanted you here with me."
Ryo drank half of the glass of wine. He was trying to get himself together, but it was failing.
"The doctors came in...and they said that you were dead. I didn't even realize it...being too shocked at the sight of you. I was surprised that you had even lasted that long. Your...your body all mangled like that...the image never left my mind for days, Dee! I...I had dreams...dreams of seeing that truck...slide on the ice and hit your car. Then...seeing...seeing..."
Ryo began bawling.
"I see that body...being pulled from the car...and then you looking up...at me with those eyes. So much pain and love mixed in that stare. I never thought both exist in such a place at once...but I saw both. Oh Dee."
Ryo continued to cry. This was his ritual for the past few years now. Drink red wine, talk to Dee, and cry himself to sleep.
"Ryo?"
There was a soft knock at the door. Ryo calmed down as best as he could, and walked to the door. He swayed a little, but he was still able to walk.
"Who is it?"
Ryo asked before he opened the door. His voice gave way to his current bought of crying.
"Ryo...it's Rose. Are you ok? Please open the door."
Ryo was shaking slightly, but he got the door open and Berkeley stepped inside.
"Oh Ryo."
Berkeley wrapped his arms around Ryo. Ryo sobbed quietly into his coat.
"Shh...It'll be ok...Shh"
Berkeley began trying to calm Ryo down. Slowly Ryo stopped crying.
"Ryo...Why are you crying? Did something happen to Bikky?"
Ryo shook his head.
"No...I just..."
Ryo sighed as he pushed away from Berkeley.
"It's Christmas Eve...and Dee..."
"Oh...I'm sorry Ryo...How long have you been like this?"
Ryo walked over to the window and cleaned up the small mess he had made with the wine.
"I started to cry not too long ago. I do this almost every year...but this year it just seems to have gotten to me more."
Berkeley noticed Ryo cleaning up the bottle and glass.
"You do this every year? You don't even decorate?"
Berkeley asked to the retreating form of Ryo. Ryo sighed as he put the glass down gently in the sink and put the rest of the wine in the fridge.
"Is there something you want Berkeley?"
As much as Ryo would have loved the company of the man, he just didn't feel like it right now. Ryo just wanted to be alone with himself.
"Yeah...I cam by to give you this folder. I was hoping you'd still be awake. I was wanting you to start on this case as soon as you can. You have become a good detective, and I know you'll crack this thing in no time."
Ryo walked back out into the main area and took the folder from Berkeley.
"Yeah. I'll get started on this right away sir."
Ryo put the folder on the kitchen table along with other work related things.
"Ryo? Are you sure you don't want to talk or anything? You said you have done this every year. That's not healthy Ryo. I'm worried about you."
Ryo looked Berkeley directly into the eyes for the first time that night, and he saw general sincerity in them. Almost like the time Dee came over to be with Ryo their first Christmas together.
"I...I just want to be alone right now...but thanks anyway."
Berkeley nodded as he headed for the door. He didn't want to leave Ryo alone right now, but he respected the mans wishes.
"Ok. You know my number is case you need anything tonight, ok?"
Ryo just nodded his head. He watched as Berkeley made his way to the door, only to stop him.
"Wait. What are you doing tomorrow night?"
"Nothing much. Just going to call the folks and wish them Happy Holidays. Then probably watch some movies on TV."
"Would you like to join me and my family for dinner around five tomorrow? I would really like it if you could come."
Berkeley thought a moment, and then answered.
"Yeah. I'll come. Should I bring anything?"
"Bring cookies or something if you want. I think I told Cal I would make them but I don't feel like it, so just bring a cake or some cookies."
Berkeley nodded his head as he walked out the door.
AN- So? What do you think? Yeah. You can consider this kind of like a flip-side to Moonlight. Except the pairing being Berkeley and Ryo. And for those of you waiting on the Sequel to Moonlight...it's coming, I swear! I just ma having a little trouble with it. I start it, and then I rip it apart because I hate it. But don't worry! There will be one...and maybe that one will have a lemon...maybe...Anyway, Review please!