What would you do, if you found out you only had a week to live? Hiro had asked me that question once. We'd spent the evening drowning our sorrows because we'd both been dumped and out of the blue he asked me that question. I just blew it off at the time because it was just too depressing to think about. But now, sitting across from my doctor, for some reason that question just popped into my mind.
"Shuichi are you listening to me?"
"I…I'm sorry Takahashi-sensei, it's just hard for me to understand all that medical jargon you're using. Please explain it to me one more time."
"I'm the one who should apologize," Takahashi said shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "I was trying to break it to you gently, but I ended up making everything too confusing for you." He took off his glasses, sat back in his chair and looked at me with sad, defeated eyes. "You have a tumor in your brain. That's the reason for all the headaches you've been having recently."
"Oh, well then you can just take it out and everything will be fine," I answered in relief.
"Shuichi, your tumor is inoperable, and…it seems to be growing at an alarming rate."
"T…Takahashi-sensei," I stammered weakly. "Does that mean that…am…am I…going to die?"
With a weary sigh Takahashi-sensei simply nodded his head. Oh God! I stared at him numbly as the tears began to cascade down my cheeks. Why does this have to happen now? I'm only 25 years old! There were still so many things I wanted to do with my life! "How long…do I have?"
"A week…at the most," he replied gravely.
"I'm home." How many times will I be able to call that out, I wondered in despair. What would you do, if you only had a week to live? Walking listlessly into Yuki's study, I tried to think of what I should do with the little time I had left.
"You're back already," Yuki growled irritably as his fingers tapped incessantly across his laptop.
Staring at the disheveled blond hair that fell haphazardly into his amazingly handsome face, made my heart ache. I had always taken it for granted that we would be able to grow old together. Since I was younger than Yuki, I had been looking forward to the time that I could take care of him, but none of that was possible now. What would you do, if you only had a week to live? There was only one thing I wanted.
Slipping my arms around his neck, I whispered softly, "Yuki, please embrace me."
"What the hell," he yelled pushing me forcefully away. "Can't you see I'm in the middle…" Something made him stop suddenly, and he had an odd expression as he looked intently into my eyes.
I stared into his intense golden eyes for a long time trying to decide what I should say. Should I tell him that I'm dying? I…don't want to worry him, and I really don't want him to pity me. I just want him to make love to me…one more time. "Please Yuki, I need you tonight." Just like that, the spell had been broken.
"Damn it! You always bother me at the worst time."
"Yuki…" please don't turn me away…not tonight.
"Quit being an annoying brat and leave me alone," he grumbled in frustration.
"Yuki…" Although I desperately wanted him, I knew it was useless to ask him again. He was obviously on a roll and nothing I said would make him want to stop. If I kept pushing him, it would only make him angry with me, and I didn't want what might be my last memory to be him yelling at me. "I love you."
"Yeah, whatever," he grunted distractedly already too engrossed in his work to pay me any mind.
Curling up on the couch, I cried myself to sleep.
A few hours later, I took my last breath all alone on that cold couch. As my soul hovered above my abandoned corpse, I couldn't help but pity that lonely shell of a man curled up pathetically with the remnants of bitter tears still moist on his cheeks. I'd gone to sleep that night hoping I'd get the chance to taste Yuki's lips one last time, but just like everything else, that last wish had been taken from me as well.
Before departing to whatever awaited me in the next life, I drifted once more into Yuki's study. He was still sitting at his desk and his fingers were still tapping furiously across his laptop. Was there ever a time when I was most important to you? Will you even miss me at all? If it were possible, I would have started crying all over again. I really loved you Yuki. Did you ever truly love me? I reached up and stoked his cheek with my ghostly fingers. Shivering visibly at my touch, he paused for a moment. Then, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, he continued with his work. Goodbye Yuki. As my soul began to fade away, I wondered how long it would take him to discover my dead body.
Author's note: Never take your loved ones for granted!