Living With a Lie
L tells a lie that saves Raito for good…but, can both live with that? Or, will it tear them apart inside? L-R (L-Light) one-shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note…
I got the idea for this one shot while listening to Ayumi Hamasaki's song Endless Sorrow…she's got such a pretty voice…
Everyone in the room stared at L as though he'd grown a second head, but not a word was uttered between any of them. The black haired college student kept his steady, blank gaze level with them, as though what he'd just told them wasn't important at all. But, the boy hunched over in his rolling chair glanced over in a certain tall brunette's direction. His fellow brown haired college student was staring at him incredulously with his lips parted, as though he wanted to say something, but couldn't.
After another few moments, one of the men, a serious faced man in his late forties who wore glasses and had graying black hair had brought up a hand to his mouth. His brown eyes were focused on L, and he seemed to be trembling. Looking over towards the man, L stared at him for a few moments before the man spoke.
"Ryuzaki, are you telling the truth? Are you completely positive!?" the man asked, his voice weak.
"Yes, Yagami-san," the wild-haired boy stated, reaching his left hand into his pants pocket. "I'm now one hundred percent sure that Raito-kun is not Kira." the detective explained nonchalantly, looking over his shoulder towards the long metal desk he was sitting at.
"Y-you can't be serious," Soichiro Yagami stuttered. "Are you really telling us the truth about Raito!?"
Reaching out with his right hand towards a tray that was decorated with assorted sweets, the sugar-addict hesitated a moment over two chocolate truffles, before choosing the dark chocolate one. When he turned around again, he looked towards the ex-Police Chief, and took a like of his chocolate truffle.
"Yes." he stated blandly, pulling a small key out of his pants pocket. "Raito-kun, would you be so kind as to step over here and allow me to unlock these handcuffs?" the black haired boy inquired, proving that he was completely serious.
Raito still gazed upon L with his eyes in a daze and his thoughts swimming rapidly around his mind. But nonetheless, he still slowly walked over towards the young man, who stuffed the entire chocolate truffle in his mouth so that he could use his right hand to unlock the handcuff around Raito's wrist. As the steel manacle dropped down to the floor, the startled brunette blinked at the clack of steel on steel as the cuff made contact with the floor.
"Ryuzaki…" Raito mumbled, his brown eyes wide.
Not looking at the other boy, L unlocked his own shackle, and carelessly allowed it to drop down to the floor. He then looked back towards the group of ex-police officers.
"It is the truth that Raito-kun was under Kira's power, but through my research, I've concluded that whoever Kira truly is, they are the ones behind these murders, not Raito-kun, Misa-Misa, nor any other Kira. I believe they were acting on Kira's will more than their own, after Kira subjected their thoughts to his own beliefs, the beliefs of a "pure world" that he had only thought for himself. I do not think it worthwhile to hold Miss Amane nor Raito-kun guilty of the murders." L explained, having already picked up the second truffle, and also a chocolate coated cherry.
"A-and Ryuzaki, you're positive about all of this?" Soichiro asked, his eyes wide and hopeful.
"I am ninety-three percent positive about my theory, but my speculations of Raito-kun are one-hundred percent clear. Raito-kun is no longer Kira, and we should not think of him as such," L explained again, sucking the juice and cheery out of their chocolate shell before crunching into the solid chocolate. "This counts for Miss Amane as well," the detective added, as though an unneeded afterthought.
"Thank God," Soichiro sighed, hurrying over to his son and throwing his arms around the still shocked boy. "Thank God," the man repeated, clutching his son tightly.
Raito though didn't return his father's embrace, but it went unnoticed. Instead, he had his eyes fixated on L, who was still not looking at him. What was the sugar-addict saying? What was he thinking? Why was he doing this, why…Raito stepped out of his thoughts when he felt his father pull away from him. Looking the man in the eyes, Raito tried to smile at his father, despite the confusion running through his mind.
"Raito, you can go home now, oh thank God," Soichiro repeated, his eyes becoming watery.
"Actually, Yagami-san, I was hoping Raito-kun could stay here for another night. There's just another theory I wanted to run by him and see what his take on it was. I hope you don't mind," L interjected, biting into a sweetened lemon slice.
"Oh, of course, Ryuzaki." Soichiro replied, a bit disappointed but still overjoyed, nonetheless.
"Thank you," L stated, swallowing down what looked like a gumdrop. "You all should go get some rest tonight, you've been working hard. And Matsuda-san, would you be as kind as to inform Misa of the current findings? Thank you everyone, have a good night's sleep." L said, a bit quickly.
The men in the room looked to each other, and then nodded towards Ryuzaki. Though the genius was pretty much dismissing them in an odd sort of way, no one really minded, since it meant a good night's sleep. Soichiro, though, was a little reluctant to leave his son. But after a quick glance of L, and then a good night to his son, Soichiro began to leave the large computer room. But, just as he was about to close the doors behind him, he looked over his shoulder, and was about to say something, but didn't. He turned around again and closed the doors.
Raito stared at the place where his father had been standing just moments ago, and he blinked. Glancing over at L, his brown eyes focused on the boy's head of wild black hair. L wasn't looking at him, but at the steel counter of the desk. Five minutes of complete silence passed between them, neither saying a word nor moving an inch. That is, until Raito opened his mouth to speak.
"Ryuzaki…" he asked quietly.
The black haired boy slammed his hands down onto the desktop, his head bowed. The sudden noise and movement caused Raito to take a step back.
"Ryuzaki!" Raito repeated, only in a louder voice.
"Be quiet!" L ordered, causing Raito to stop in his tracks.
Watching with wide eyes, Raito simply stood as though glued in place, as L stood from the chair. But what really surprised the brunette was when L straightened his posture. The black haired detective was at least two, maybe three, inches taller than Raito, and the way he stood made him look like a soldier. A soldier with wild hair, baggy blue jeans, and an oversized white shirt. The brunette gasped silently when L turned his head towards the other, his dark black eyes filled with conflicting emotions.
Walking slowly over towards Raito, kicking the handcuffs on the floor out of his way, L continued to stare at Raito with an unreadable expression. Raito stared back into the black haired boy's eyes, seeing the anger and some other emotion spilling into them. L blinked, and Raito slowly lifted his hand, reaching out as though to touch the other's cheek.
"Ryuzaki…" Raito murmured, his gaze softening.
But the other only continued to stare at him, even as his hand shot up and grabbed Raito's wrist before the other could touch his face. Raito widened his eyes in surprise, confusion, and hurt.
"Stop it, Raito." L demanded icily, making the other boy flinch as he tightened his grip around Raito's wrist.
"That hurts," Raito said softly, his attention not on his wrist, but on the boy holding him captive.
"I lied." L stated dumbly, his voice not holding any emotion at all. "I lied to them, all of them…" he added.
"Why, Ryuzaki? Why would you," Raito began, before being cut off.
"Because! Because it was YOU!" L shouted, grabbing Raito's other wrist, and then slamming him against the steel desk counter.
Calling out in pain from the sudden impact, Raito growled at the other, his eyes narrowed.
"Ryuzaki! What do you think you're doing!?" Raito demanded, his voice filled with confusion and anger.
"Because of you, I lied to them! Why, why did I have to…You…Argh!" L screamed, shaking his head as though to get rid of his thoughts as he slammed Raito into the desk again.
"Ryuzaki! Why did you tell them I wasn't Kira!?" Raito demanded, nearly screaming.
Silence flooded the room the moment the words had left Raito's lips, and L had even stopped shaking. Instead, the boy was staring at Raito with wide eyes, and he felt a trembling in his heart. Both looked into each other's eyes, daring the other to make the first move. After five minutes, L released one of Raito's wrists, and reached down to gently ghost his fingers over Raito's cheek. The brunette made no move to stop him, and he softened his gaze and sighed quietly. The simple action of L's was enough to calm him down.
"'Why?' you ask, Raito," L began, fully placing his palm on Raito's cheek. "Because…because of this…" he ended, slowly leaning down and placing his lips on Raito's.
Raito only took a second to register the kiss, and he eagerly returned it. The brunette's tongue darted out and licked L's lips, savoring the sweet taste. L allowed Raito to taste him for a moment, before he parted his lips, and came down on the other's once more, only this time their tongues met.
After a few more moments, L reluctantly pulled away to stare down at the flushed, content face of Raito below him. Conflict stirred within his eyes once more, and he gently stroked Raito's cheek with his thumb. The other smiled gently, and turned his head into the touch.
"Ryuzaki…does this mean…" Raito asked, his voice quiet and almost saddened.
Taking a moment before answering, L bowed his head and allowed his bangs to cover his eyes. What was he going to say? How would he say it? Why…
"Why…?" L whispered, his hands trembling against the other.
"Why what?" Raito asked, his eyes looking past L and up towards the ceiling.
"Why do…why…" L stammered, having difficulty getting his words out. "Why do YOU have to be Kira!?" L demanded, his voice cracking as he yelled.
Raito looked back towards the other with a saddened expression. His eyes were trying to mask the war he was raging inside his head, and he couldn't…wouldn't…say anything at the moment.
In his mind, Raito's thoughts were battling with each other. The seemingly prevailing side, the side that wanted to create a new, perfect, pure world, was battling against the new side of his mind, that didn't want a world anymore. Kira was battling against Raito…a pure world without L, was battling against a world that wanted to revolve around L…and it seemed that Kira was weakening. But…Kira was strong, and Raito didn't know how much more he could take.
"Raito…I have an attachment towards you, that won't allow me…" L began, not able to look at the male beneath him.
Inside his own mind, L was arguing with himself if he'd made the right decision. The decision of allowing the real Kira to walk free, just so he could…
"I can not let go of you. I don't want to see you, nor anyone else, die. I…I can't lose you," L explained, as though he was ashamed with himself.
Raito's eyes widened, and he felt a sting in his throat. In his mind, he felt Kira retreat, threatening to return, but leaving the battlefield at least.
"Ryuzaki…I'm…sorry…" Raito whispered, not believing for a minute that a simple apology could make any of what was going on right.
"There's nothing that can be done, Raito…there is no need for an apology." the detective explained, releasing Raito, and stepping back, his posture still straight, except he was slouching just a little bit.
Standing up straight as well, Raito looked towards the steel floor, wanting to look over at L, but finding that he couldn't.
"I…Thank you, Ryuzaki…" Raito said quietly, but loud enough for L to hear clearly.
Glancing up in the direction of the detective, Raito suddenly felt an idea hit him, and his eyes took on a look of determination. Taking in a deep breath, Raito walked slowly towards L, who had his back to him. When he was standing directly behind him, he reached forward and wrapped his arms around the other. Raito felt L's body tense up for a moment, but then relax in his hold.
"Ryuzaki…" Raito whispered in the other's ear, his hands slowly drifting down L's shirt towards his stomach.
"Raito, what are you doing?" L asked, his voice sounding a bit…breathless.
"Mm…I think you know…" the other replied as his hands drifted below L's waist…
Walking into the computer room, Soichiro grinned widely, seeing L and Raito working at their computers, but no chain binding them together.
"Good morning Raito!" Soichiro called out warmly, walking over to his son to place a hand on his shoulder. "Morning to you as well, Ryuzaki," the man added.
Both boys also greeted him, and Soichiro stepped back a bit. Looking down at his son who was still hard at work on the computer, Soichiro asked,
"Raito, are you ready to go home? Your mother and Sayu have missed you."
Stopping his work at the computer, Raito cast a quick glance over towards L, who had also stopped his work, though he still pretended to be reading something on the computer screen. Turning in his chair, Raito looked up at his father with a smile.
"Yeah, sure. I'll need to pick up some clothes anyway." Raito added, turning back towards the computer.
Soichiro raised an eyebrow and widened his eyes at his son's response.
"But, Raito, you're allowed to go back home, and stay there. I guess you didn't understand yesterday…" the older man said.
"No, I understood yesterday. But, I'd like to stay here and continue to work on the Kira case with Ryuzaki, and yourself of course." Raito explained nonchalantly, casting a quick glance towards L, who had resumed working, the slightest of smiles on his lips.
"Uh, well then…I guess…" Soichiro mumbled, completely taken aback by his son's response. "I guess you'll be getting a new room then? Which one will he be staying in Ryuzaki?" Raito's father asked.
"I'll still be staying with Ryuzaki, Dad." Raito answered. "It helps both of us concentrate when we're together."
Soichiro stared at his son and L with a confused look, but he just sighed.
"All right then, but you'll still come home today, if only for tonight? Your mother and sister have really missed you."
"I dunno, if Ryuzaki doesn't need my help with anything, I suppose I might be able to," Raito thought aloud.
"It's fine Raito, I shouldn't need your help tonight," L responded, the small smile still on his lips.
Raito glanced over at him, and sent his own smile to the other, and then looked towards his father.
"All right then, I'll be with you in a moment. I just want to finish this up first." Raito explained to his father, who nodded and began to leave the room just as Watari walked in, pushing a trolley which was covered in plates full of sweets.
"Are you sure it's all right, Ryuzaki?" Raito asked after shutting off his computer.
"Seventy-nine percent." L answered with a grin.
Raito rolled his eyes and stood from his chair as Watari began to walk away with a half empty trolley. L had selected seven dishes, and placed them on the counter to await his consumption. Walking towards the black haired individual, Raito leaned forward and chastely brushed his lips against L's cheek. L, on the other hand, smirked, and just before Raito pulled away, L turned and quickly pulled Raito lower so that L had access to the boy's neck. He quickly placed his lips over a certain spot, and began licking it, nipping at it, and after a few seconds, he bit it softly.
When Raito was finally able to pull away, there was a bright pink spot on his neck in plain view of anyone who looked at him.
"Ryuzaki!" Raito shouted in a hushed voice, slapping a hand over the spot on his neck as he glared at the other.
"You better hurry along Raito, you don't want your father to wait long, do you?" L asked with a grin.
Raito narrowed his eyes and made a face similar to a pout.
"You're despicable Ryuzaki," Raito muttered, walking away slowly while still covering his neck.
When he reached the doors and pushed them open, Raito stepped out into the hallway, and sighed. He let his hand fall from his neck, but he didn't realize his father was walking straight towards him. When he heard his name called, he looked over towards the voice without a second thought, and saw his father was only a few feet away from him.
"All right Raito, ready to go…Raito…what's that mark on your neck?" Soichiro asked curiously.
Raito's eyes widened, and he could just sense that L was chuckling to himself quietly at that moment. Ignoring his father, Raito began to walk in the direction of the exit to the building. His father followed close behind, still asking about the mark on his neck.
Though they were living in a lie, Raito and L were able to look past that. It was one of those lies that wasn't exactly a white lie, because the lie definitely wasn't something small, but it was just a simple that only helped those around them. When L lied about Kira's identity, he'd made everyone feel a little more relief, and though it may be a weight in his and Raito's shoulders, they could live with that.
Sorry if that wasn't the best ever, I kinda hate the ending…and I hate how corny it sounds…ugh…Oh well, first Death Note fic. My horizons are expanding, Yay me! And now, I just need to wait for episode 24 to come out with subtitles…joy…Anyway, hope you liked, and please leave a review. Everyone knows I love em! And sorry about Raito and L acting a little out of character…heh…
Sam