Please come back:
Telling your partner they're going to be a father is usually a very nervous thing to do, but a good nervous, not the bad kind. But for Tonks, it had been of the bad kind. She knew Remus all too well by now. It had been hard enough to get him to give a relationship with her a try. Always giving those idiotic excuses of being too dangerous and such. It didn't matter how many times she had told him that she didn't care about that. She loved him, and that was what mattered. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. It was anyway only during the full moon nights he was dangerous. Any other time, he was the kindest, most loving person she knew.
Her heart had been so happy when he finally had given in, and agreed to give it a try. And things had been fantastic. She could tell he was happy as well. He had been proven that it was okay for him to let someone this close to him. He made sure to always be away during full moons of course, so there was nothing for him to worry about really.
But when Tonks was sure that she would have a child with him, she had not at all been sure on how he would react to it, and that had scared her. She didn't want him to push her away again. But she knew she couldn't keep it from him. He would sooner or later have found it out once she started showing. Thus, she had known it was better to tell him right away, which she did.
At first she had though that he had taken it very well. Sure, he had looked pale as a ghost when she told him, and there had been no over emotional cheers of happiness or anything. But he seemed to have handled it calmly, thus, Tonks had believed it was all fine and dandy. Until now. She should have noticed his forced smile, and that hidden panic in his eyes. Now he had not been home for over three days, and Tonks was almost inconsolable. Her parents did try to cheer her up, but nothing worked. Not to say the freaking morning sickness made her mode even worse. All she did was staying in bed, thinking and worrying. It made her almost crazy, but what could she do? He had left her, of that she was sure. How else could she interpret his absence? He had known she would never agree to do an abortion, so once again, instead of facing things, he fled from them. Had he even truly loved her? If he so easily could leave her like this, he couldn't have loved her especially much. The thought made her once again cry. Her heart ached in longing for him. She just wanted to be embraced by him, take in his scent once again.
One week, no words form Remus. Tonks was still juts walking around like a lost ghost during the days, not knowing what to do. Her hair had turn a nasty, ugly dull colour by all the hurt emotions in her heart, and she did not have the strange to even try and get it back to normal. If only they could have talked things out. But no, he ran away like a damn coward.
Her mother opened the door, but Tonks didn't move at all in her bed. She just kept her back towards the door.
"We're going out form some groceries dear. Want something?"
Tonks just put up an arm doing a thumbs down. Her mother sighed and closed the door.
After a few minuted Tonks finally decided to get up and at least take an apple or something. When she almost had reached the refrigerator the doorbell rang. Tonks walked up to the door.
"Who is it?" A voice she recognized all to well answered.
"Remus John Lupin. Werewolf, husband to Tonks, member of the order of the Phoenix and old friends to James Potter, Sirius Black and the traitor Peter"
Sure that it was really him, she opened the door, but not without shooting him a dark gaze, trying her best to hold back her tears.
"So you finally dare to show yourself again huh? After a whole bloody week" She said, her voice sounding more stable than she thought It would.
Remus turned down his gaze in shame. He must have noticed how her otherwise so colourful hair and bright eyes had changed.
"I… I have had lots of time to think" He answered.
"Oh, I didn't think you where the thinker kind of guy, more the running away from everything kind of guy" She said sarcastically, hoping it would hurt him, and by the looks of it, it did.
"Tonks I… I didn't know what to do. When you told me I just…" She could tell his strength was about to leave him.
"What? Just thought it was a good idea running away like a coward?" She said angrily. Now she didn't care about the tears running down her face.
"Yeah, Harry told me that too. I know I am. I know. And I also know that you have all the right to throw me out right now, and hate me. I wouldn't blame you. I also hate myself for…." Tonks stopped him.
"See that's the problem! You have always hated yourself! And for what? For something that is not your fault. For something you can't control. Why can't you start accepting yourself for who you truly are? A wonderful, lovable man who has his shortcomings like everyone else in this world, which doesn't make him any less lovable"
"Tonks. Do you know what I might have done to this child? Do you have any damn idea? It might turn out like me Tonks! An innocent child I might have forced to a life in pain and misery!" Now all his emotion was coming out. He fell down to the couch, covering his face in his hands. Tonks sat down by him, resting a hand on his lap.
"Remus, we don't know that yet. And even if that would happen, we wouldn't love our child any less" He shook his head.
"Of course not, but what about the rest of the world? And even if the kid by some miracle doesn't turn out like me… What kind of kid would want a werewolf to father? Always having to be ashamed of me. Never be able to keep any friends for too long after they figure out what I am. What kind of life would that poor kid have? Tonks I just… I just can't do this"
Tonks leaned in and kissed away his tears.
"Why are you always so thickheaded? Screw what the rest of the world think. I know you'll be such a good father, and I know our kid will never be ashamed of you. And it will for sure make a lot of friends as well. True friends, that would not care if our kid and its dad is a werewolf or not. Just like James, Sirius, Peter and a lot of others including me didn't care about you being one. Why can't you see how many that has accepted you?"
Tonks embraced Remus closely, never wanting to let go. Of course she couldn't stay mad at him for long. Sure he had done something bad, but…. Could she blame him? After all, she knew how he always had viewed himself. Mostly it was thanks to society. They had never accepted him or even given him a chance to show his true heart. She should have seen this happening when she told him she was pregnant.
He leaned into her hug, tired and sad. He had never deserved this warmth that she gave him. He truly was a coward. He had been scared to let her come closer into his life, and now, he was scared what would become of the unborn baby. But his life had always been like that, ever since he was a child and got bitten by Fenrir. He had always hide or pushed people away, Too afraid of what would happen if he actually let them get closer to him. No, he already knew. They would shun him, like always. He just didn't want his kid having to live such a life.
But there was a voice scolding him. Tonks. She had accepted him, Everyone in the order had as well. Did he really need more then that? He didn't need superstitious people who saw him nothing more as a monster, and never allowed him to show his true heart to them.
He ended the hug and looked at Tonks. He leaned in and kissed her lovingly. She didn't push away from him, but answered to the kiss. When they ended it, she gave him a small smile.
"Listen, I love you more then anything Remus. But if we're going to ever be happy together, you can't continue to run away from me. I want you, but I can't stand the heartbreak one more time"
"I'm so sorry once again Tonks, but I promise, no more running away. I love you, and I should not run away from those I love" He leans down and places his head against her stomach. "That includes you" He said, making Tonks smile. When he looked back at her, she cupped his face and kissed him deeply.
"No, never run away again. Instead, always talk to me from now on if there is something"
(I hoped you guys liked this Little one shot fanfic of Tonks and Lupin. I really love this couple and felt like I wanted to write something with them. Please do leave a comment on your thoughs :3 Hope you're all well :3 That's all for now and thank you all for reading)