Escape
(Part 12 of Little Sherlock)
The door upstairs closed with a loud bang. Mrs. Hudson opened her door. "What's all the noise about?" John, still standing at the front door, was not sure how to tell his landlady that Sherlock was more than a bit upset about the outcome of the case without telling her the details.
"A case didn't end very well. I better go check on him." Without waiting for her to say anything else he followed his friend upstairs. The noises he had heard while talking with Mrs. Hudson had stopped. John opened the door slowly and quietly so as to not startle Sherlock whatever mood he was in. "Sherlock?" He looked through the living room but didn't find his flat mate, only the mess he had left behind. But as he walked around the corner he found him. "Sherlock, it wasn't your fa…" John stopped mid-sentence as he saw what Sherlock was doing. His friend held a half empty bottle of the re-aging potion in his hands. "No, Sherlock." But it was too late, Sherlock's eyes telling him that very clearly. They were showing a person drowning in guilt and hate and just immense and pure sadness.
Sherlock lost the world and disappeared; John watched him shrink and waited until William appeared again. He hadn't thought about it; it hadn't gone through his mind that Sherlock would choose to be a child again. He had been quite convinced that it was a one-time thing but apparently his friend wanted a bit of comfort and forget all about the horrible day. John waited until Sherlock was done changing back before he went closer. He wasn't sure if Sherlock could remember, or better if William could remember his last time as 'William'. It is getting complicated.
"William?" John walked around the table and found the child on top of a mountain of Sherlock's clothes he had winkled himself out of, except for the shirt. As William looked up and saw John he started to cry. Before John could even say a single word the little boy was in John's arms wanting to be cuddled. William tried to crawl into John, as if he wanted to hide. "There is nothing to cry about William. I will get you your clothes and then it won't be so cold anymore, alright?" William didn't answer but he clung to John like a limpet and let himself be carried through the flat and dressed without fighting it.
William was still in John's arms when the child started to make the first noises that weren't stemming from his crying. "John where is Mr. Bee?" John cursed inside but smiled at William.
"We are going to get him right now. His visiting hours at Myc… Uncle Mycroft's are over. Would you like to go and get him now?" William nodded and John started to collect shoes, coats and scarfs for them. Outside he hailed a cab. William hadn't spoken further, he just looked really sad. "Sweetheart can you smile for me for a second, please? I miss your smiles." But William didn't smile, he didn't even really look at John, he just buried his head in John's chest wanting to be held.
John got his phone out as soon as they were settled in the cab, William still in his arms, and called Mycroft. The older brother must have heard from the disastrous case because he picked up even before the first ring went through. "John, is my brother okay?"
"Not really, we are on the way to your house to collect Mr. Bee; could you be there?" You could hear him worrying over the phone.
"He took the potion again. Yes I will be there. Keep my brother safe." Mycroft didn't have to say that but he was very worried. This potion was not properly tested and the side effects were unknown. Furthermore he didn't want to think about how bad the emotional state of his brother was right now if it had brought him to take this step.
When John and William arrived at Mycroft's house the ground floor was illuminated. Mycroft must have arrived before them. John held the silent child in his arms and carried him to the door. After the second knock the door was opened by Mycroft. "Hello John, William." Mycroft tried to get William to look at him but there was no movement that would indicate something like recognizing. "There is someone waiting for you in the living room."
John followed Mycroft inside growing more worried about his friend by the minute. That wasn't William's normal behavior. Still in their coats, John sat down and picked up the toy bee that was waiting for William on the sofa. "Look William, Mr. Bee want's to say hello and would like a hug."
Slowly one of William's hands reached out for the bee and pulled it into a tight hug, at the same time not losing his hold on John. Mycroft placed a cup of tea in front of John and a glass of juice for William on the little table by the sofa. "What happened? Why is he like this?"
"I'm not really sure; he hasn't talked much since he changed." John placed William on the sofa and kneeled in front of him. "William can you tell me what's the matter? Why are you so upset? We got Mr. Bee, does something hurt?"
William didn't look up but pointed with his finger at his chest where his heart was. "Does your heart hurt?" John asked, now the doctor, ignoring Mycroft's nervous energy behind him. William nodded.
"Can you try to tell me what kind of pain you are feeling? Is it more like you bumped into something or like breathing is getting harder? William held up two fingers. So the second option.
"Doctor Watson what's wrong with him?" John turned to Mycroft.
"I am not sure but I think that Sherlock's emotional state before he changed back hasn't left him. I think all the feelings and thoughts from adult Sherlock were transferred to little William but William can't understand why he is feeling like that. He has no memories for these feelings. He is too young."
"What should we do? We can't wait until he is a grown up again. Who knows how long he will be in this state this time."
"Let me try something." John went back to William and kneeled in front of him again to be at the same height as the child. William decided to look up at him.
"William I need you to listen to me, ok? I want to tell you something. It will make you a bit sad but I have to tell you anyway so I can make the pain in your heart better, okay?" John didn't really expect an answer.
"Okay, you don't remember this but you and I saw something very sad today. We tried to help a little boy, like you. His parents are getting divorced and the father didn't get custody of his child because of his behavior. That means he is not allowed to visit his son. That made the man very sad and angry and after he had drunk a lot of drinks – the ones I told you not to drink - he broke into his former home and took his son. He wasn't allowed to do this and the boy's mummy called the police and us to help her." William started to look at John, still wearing his coat and cuddling his friend but listening intently. "So we went and listened to the mummy, we tried to help the police but in the end, when we found the daddy with the boy it was too late. The daddy thought he couldn't live in a world without his son so he took them both to another place. The mummy is now alone and had lost both, her husband and her son." In William's eyes something that John would call understanding appeared. "You are upset and feel this heavy hurting pressure on your chest because you would have liked to help the boy. You needed to help him and you couldn't. When they asked for our help it was already too late for both of them. There was nothing you could have done. I'm really sorry that we can't change the fact that sometimes horrible things happen in this world but you have to let go of that feeling William. It's not your fault that we weren't there on time to save the boy. There was nothing we could have done to help him. You did your best and it is okay to feel sad about it but you shouldn't hide away from this feeling. You can always come to me and have a hug when you need one. Even when you are big."
William moved forward on the sofa, with Mr. Bee in his hand and put his little arms around John's neck. Silent tears began to wet John's shirt but he didn't care. "There you are William, don't hide. It is alright to show feelings. But when you don't tell us what is going on in your heart or your head you frighten Uncle Mycroft and me." After another minute of hugging John William pulled back and offered his open arms to Mycroft who took him into his arms without hesitation.
"Sorry Uncle Mycroft, sorry John. I won't hide again." William's small voice told them as he hugged his brother/uncle tighter with Mr. Bee between them.