By Tracy (biancaheart@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG13..very
Category: Gee, I don't know.
Spoilers: Ummm maybe sorta, but not really, "So I Married An Alien". And Through the beef episode of Buffy, I guess.
Summary: Let's say that UPN decided to take off on another show, namely "Buffy" instead of those 60's shows. This is the result of little sleep, Buffy spoilers, and a very boring class.
Disclaimer: Don't own Roswell. Don't own Buffy. Simple enough??
And next on UPN…a very special repeat of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"!" the TV blared.
Isabel sighed. "Oh please." Jesse was out of town; and she had to watch "Sydney". She only had a few weeks left to do so- dumb UPN had decided to cancel the show. She had to enjoy it while she could. If only it weren't up against "Wellington" on the WB it would have a chance. Maybe. A few good writers wouldn't hurt either.
She shut her eyes. Maybe a quick nap would help her get through the Buffy rerun. Maybe.
***
"Wake up, Isabel!"
She opened her eyes. "Jim? What are you doing here?"
"It's time for patrol."
Isabel shrugged and sat up. "Have you always had an English accent? Is it real?"
"Isabel, quit kidding around. We really must stop the Apocalypse."
"You ALWAYS say that."
"We are on the hellmouth."
Isabel rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's Roswell. Apocalypse-a-plenty."
Jim turned around. "You coming Max?"
Max was dressed sloppily, in a mismatching yellow and green checked shirt and black t-shirt. A pair of holy jeans finished of his ensemble, as it was. "Me? I laugh in the face of danger. And then I run and hide till it goes away."
"And Maria, you'll keep looking up information."
Maria smiled. "Just a little illegal hacking. No biggie."
Jim tapped his foot. "Isabel, you're the slayer. Vampires don't just wait."
"Yeah, and if you want me to go on a Krispy Kreme run, We gotta do this soon." Max remarked.
"Yeah, right, whatever."
Jim sighed. "Out of all the slayers in the world, I get to watch this one."
"There IS only one slayer." Isabel smiled.
"Yes, right." Jim chirped.
***
"Yes, now I can go on my date with Jesse." Isabel smiled.
"Oh yeah, college boy. Mr. Personality. Real trustworthy."
"Max."
"Well he is a step above dead boy, but really that's not too much."
"See you later, Max."
"Yeah right." Max sighed. "So goes the Zeppo."
"Max, I'm not an outsider!"
"Isabel." A voice called from the shadows, softly and sweetly.
"Alex!" she exclaimed. "But I thought you were in Albuquerque."
"But I had to come see you."
"But why?"
"I'm not quite sure. I think it had something to do with the Nielsen ratings."
"Huh?"
Alex walked over and kissed her deeply. "Isabel, I have to go."
"You do?"
"Roswell has you. But Albuquerque needs me. It has no one to face the dark. Laurie, Brody, and Sean are waiting for me. And I think I'm with Laurie now."
"But I thought she was with Brody, the ex-watcher."
"That's a fan's dream. But really I like Laurie, and even though I love you, I can't face being a vampire without a soul again. Man, that was brutal."
"Goodbye, Alex." Isabel said, kissing him one last time.
***
"Jesse, this is such an interesting and nice place." Isabel said, taking a sip of champagne.
"It's the nicest French restaurant in town!" he smiled.
Isabel leaned over to touch her lips to Jesse's, but a wave of screams disrupted them.
"Isabel! I need your help!" Kyle exclaimed, his game face on.
"I'm on a date. Note the champagne and romantic atmosphere."
"Oh, bugger that."
"What is it with the incredibly fake English accents?"
Kyle's eyes widened. "I think it's quite good, actually."
Isabel stood up and threw a salad fork into the chest of one vamp.
Jesse stood up and held her hand. "It's a good thing I'm a member of a secret organization that fights these evil guys."
"They're getting away!" Isabel cried.
"Bollocks! Shite!" Kyle swore, taking off after her.
***
They finished off the vamps in an old abandoned shack.
"I swear Kyle, could you let me have a life?"
"I'm not the slayer, sweetheart. And I don't have a life. Otherwise I wouldn't have this damn chip in my head."
"I liked it better when you were the big bad."
"Why because it was easier to deny your feelings for me?"
Isabel was disgusted. "I don't have any feelings for you and your bleach blond hair!"
"I know you do Isabel. I see it in the way you look at me."
"I don't look at you."
"Oh, and I suppose you have a perfect relationship with what's his face. I suppose you have passion and fire. I suppose you see the glint of love and passion in his eyes every time he looks at you. You don't think about what would be better and different."
"I don't think about you."
"Then why can't you just cast me out of your life and live happily ever after with him!"
"I don't think about you!" She cried. "Can't you see that?"
Kyle covered her lips with his. They sunk the floor in a flurry of passion.
***
The phone rang, and Isabel stirred. She was entwined in Kyle's arms. Using super slayer strength, she pushed free of him and made her way to her clothes and retrieved the tiny cell phone.
"Yeah…hello…what is it Jim? Tess is in trouble? It must be Tuesday." She groaned.
"Nibblet's in trouble?" Kyle exclaimed.
"Yeah." She said, hanging up the phone. "Apparently Miss Key has stirred up trouble again. Get dressed."
"How am I supposed to help? It's daylight."
"Uh, not anymore."
"How did time go by that fast…oh, oh yeah…" He said. "Let's go save her."
***
"I need the Key!" Nicholas shrieked from atop the high school. "I must
get back to my dimension."
Liz sighed. "Being a demon was much more fun Max. And the pay- much better than any human job."
Max sighed. "Oh, pleeease. Enough of that. We're trying to save the world."
"At least I don't have dumbo ears." Liz said triumphantly.
"Wait a minute. I don't have dumbo ears."
"Yeah, you do. And beady eyes."
"You eat skeezy cheeses. And your toes are sort of hairy."
"Please." Michael "Guy" Guerin said, looking up from his magazine. "Tess is stuck, and I have one more day until I have to go through my monthly wolf phase. Shut up."
"And Maria picked him?" Max groaned.
"Well, he is a fine looking male specimen."
"So where's the big bad?" Kyle said, showing up with Isabel up at his side.
Isabel gave him a weird look. "Yeah, he's up there, torturing my sister. DUH."
"Right."
"Okay, Big Bad." Isabel called. "I want my sister back. Now tell me what in the heck you want from me, and we'll just get the butt kicking done and over with."
"Your sister's blood will help me get back to my dimension. I have no power here; I'm miserable."
"I won't let you kill my sister."
"Only Evans blood will close the portal."
Isabel made a split second decision and climbed quickly to the top of the tower. She jumped into the fire of glittering light.
Her friends gathered around her body.
Max was holding Liz, trying to reassure her while he was shaking himself.
Michael was showing a rare amount of emotion while holding a weeping Maria.
Kyle was crouching down beside her, crying. "Isabel! Isabel!" He moaned.
***
"Isabel! Isabel!"
She opened her eyes to see her friends standing there- Kyle, Liz, Max, Michael, and Maria. They were dressed as their normal selves- Maria's hair wasn't red, Kyle's hair was it's normal brown
It was a dream. It was all just a dream.
"I had a dream. I mean, it was the weirdest dream." She exclaimed. "And you were there Kyle, and so were you Liz, and Maria, and Michael…even though you didn't talk much, and so was Jesse."
"Huh?" The group chorused.
"Yeah. Liz was an ex-demon, and Alex was a vampire..and so were you Kyle, and we had sex."
"WHAT?" Kyle squeaked. "Go back a second. We did what?"
Maria slugged Kyle in the gut.
"Owww." He moaned.
"Teaches you right Isabel. For watching UPN. And Buffy."
"Did you check the expiration date on your Tabasco?" Max asked.
Isabel chuckled and turned up the volume on the TV. Sydney was on.