Title: Inside The Jackal's Mask

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Rating: NC-17/M

Pairing: Rachel/OMC

Warnings: Adult Situations Including But Not Limited To Sexual Relations, Violence, Naughty Language, Child Abuse, Drug Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Underage Drinking, Self Mutilation

Words:

Disclaimer: I don't own Alphas. If I did Gary would have a porn addiction, because I can so see him watching porn in a meeting. The only things I own are stupid nonexistent words I make up and my Original character.

A/N: Symbolism behind the title. A jackal in a dream can symbolize someone's worst nightmare. So to wear the 'Jackal Mask' symbolizes in this sense means to look at the world as if viewing your worst nightmare.

This is a side project while I brain storm for my other three stories. So updates will be few and far between until I finish up my others.

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The shower was tinged with a red-orange as water poured down the broken expanse of skin covering a welted back, breath shaking from Godric's lungs as he trembled under the stinging pounding of the water brushing over the damaged flesh. His forearms resting heavily against the shower wall as he clenched his eyes shut to keep from crying out at the burning pain. The shower sounded like a waterfall in the utter silence of the apartment he shared with his father, resting his forehead against the grimy wall of the shower he breathed a sigh of relief that the man was passed out on the couch. Turning the teen slapped the wide expanse of the knob that controlled the water. His flesh was a pink-red from the scalding water and the loofa that he'd scrubbed himself raw with.

The steam had clouded the mirror over hiding the purple bruises and healing cuts on his face. Eyes turning towards the mirror for a moment Godric reached out rubbing away some of the condensation as he licked at his lower lip, tasting blood as he parted his lips at the dark circles under his too dull eyes. The brilliant hazel was a lingering shade of a brown-green mixture, it was neither one nor the other no matter what light you looked at the iris' in. Looking down at the rest of his reflection he noticed that he had his hand pressed to the reflective surface, jerking his hand back with a soft hiss as if he'd been burned he stumbled backwards with a painful gulp of air as he forced himself to calm down. Closing his eyes he picked up his dirty jeans slipping them on, trying to ignore the lingering scent of vomit that was clinging to them. It sickened him that his father had wiped his mouth with his only pair of pants after throwing a drunken fit, yet he had no choice. Looking at the clock that hung above the doorway he brushed a thumb over his still bleeding lower lip, he only had a few minutes before he had to leave.

Godric reached into the dirty clothes hamper slipping on a torn grease scented tank top, the notice that his cheap black nail polish was chipping just served to upset him more as he shook his head padding out of the steaming bathroom.

"You little shit… I'm out of booze. Go get me more!" Came the gruff growl of Godric's aging father, the man had a week worth of beard going on along his jaw line as he frowned keeping his eyes closed. The man just lay with a raspy sounding breathing pattern for a couple of minutes before he opened his mouth again. "Use the rent money! Your whore mother's check should be in the… mail. It's on the fridge…"

Fingers brushing over the top of the refrigerator as Godric quietly padded into the kitchen he cursed every creak and sound the floor made as he found the envelope holding the rent money. Pulling a pair of twenty dollar bills from the crinkled envelope he paused, looking over his shoulder as he pulled three more shoving them deep into his pocket as he replaced the envelope. Slipping into his ratty skateboarding shoes he picked up his junkyard board, the wheels looked as if someone had used them on a bed of rocks for hours, fingers clutching the cool metal of the front door Godric paused. He could hear the soft rasp of his father's alcohol induced haze as he slipped as quietly from the apartment as he could.

Day in and day out he lived like a ghost, avoiding any living person he could at any cost. Fingers sliding to his back pocket as he felt the cell phone that he'd bought a few weeks ago, he'd deviled into the rent money when his father hadn't looked. Not that the old man would realize, he just assumed he'd used it for more booze as he did every so often. Pushing a hand through his sandy blond hair Godric leapt down the flight of stairs to the bottom of the apartment building, passing a couple making out against the paint peeled wall of the entrance as he left the rank smelling building. He didn't live in the best neighborhood, he'd always lived in the slums. Drunk dad and a ratty apartment, he was a social workers wet dream, a true cliché. Tossing his skateboard to the sidewalk he leapt on gracefully as he quickly skated off towards the liquor store on the corner.

"Hey Jacob!" Godric called as he stamped his foot down on the end of his board, catching it with ease as he walked into the propped open store, poking his head down an aisle he found the store owner stocking the finer wines. The middle aged man offered him a soft affectionate smile as Godric looked around, fingers brushing one of the cheaper wines with interest as the teen examined the label. Shoving his hands into his pockets Godric looked at the floor. "My dad wanted some more whiskey…"

"I figured… I'll have my son take it for you. Did you want that bottle?" Jacob was a balding man with a plump belly, kind as the sun was bright. His peppered black hair was always short and well kept, just like his uniform. Brushing his hands across his apron he looked towards the seventeen year old standing awkwardly among the bottles of wine. "I won't tell if you won't. I'm going to be out of town next week. Happ-"

Jacob stood with a soft look of confusion at the way the skateboard was propped up against the front counter, the teen nowhere to be seen. Reaching over he picked up the pair of twenties folded neatly where the cheap bottle of wine had been. "Strange kid… Nathan! I need you to take something to a customer!"

The nearly rancid taste of the fermented grape juice washed over Godric's tongue as he gulped it down like a dying man. Licking his lips as the world seemed to start up around him, people rushing from place to place as cars passed. Looking at the transit station he tilted his head back with a hard single handed grip on the neck of the bottle of wine as he gulped it down, he found that it hit him harder when he swigged alcohol fast. The sudden buzz would take over the rushing thoughts as he flicked his tongue over his lips holding the bottle out to a homeless man that greeted him with a soft word of thanks. He wiped his hand on his horrid smelling pants despite the fact he'd completely avoided contact with the foul smelling man.

It wasn't the sweet scent that caught him, it was the knowledge that the sugar would replace the quickly depleted fat reserves he so often dug his fingers into. Stepping into the convince store next to the transit station he grabbed a basket shoving all of the candy he could fit into the small basket earning a strange look from the woman at the counter as he slapped the basket down with the three twenties placed on top as he stepped back. "Um… Can you just put the change on the counter?"

"Sure… This is a lot of candy. Going to a party?" The woman tried to strike up a conversation as she rung out the large quantity of sugar rush inducing treats. The teen just stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground as if it could talk. Chuckling softly she placed the full plastic bag on the counter with the change in the bag. "Three dollars and twenty three cents is your change. Have a nice night."

"Thanks…" Was all the teen mumbled back as he snatched up the bag running out of the store, narrowly avoiding a group of loud teens as he tore open one of the candy bars biting into it hungrily. Godric turned his eyes up towards the bright lights of the transit station, licking his fingers as he finished the final bite of his first candy bar before ripping into the second and quickly working his way into the third and fourth and so on. By the time the bus heading down town had arrived he was on his umpteenth candy bar, his body buzzing with wine and chocolate as he gave a soft burp that tasted strangely like liquorish that he couldn't for the life of him remember eating.

Public buses always smelled strangely to him, a mixture of urine and body odor with the soft scent of a woman's perfume if you chose just the right seat. Chewing thoughtfully at another candy bar he looked out the window into the darkness of the night just barely held at bay by the lights of the transit station. Foot tapping softly as the motion quickly seemed to skyrocket as the woman across the way looked at him with wide eyes as his foot seemed to blur. Godric blinked at her before pushing his hand down on his knee hard to stop the motion, swallowing nervously as he shoved the last piece of the candy into his mouth while he looked at the few surviving bars he had left.

The ride was uneventful aside from the fact that some thug had stolen the last few bars of candy and the money in the bag, his hands now smelling of rubbing alcohol from the entire travel size bottle of hand sanitizer he'd rubbed up and down his arms. He hadn't even touched the other male and his heart had burst to life as if someone had stabbed him with a burning iron. Looking out the window as the bus pulled to a stop he saw the man he'd encountered the day before, standing up he carefully maneuvered around the seats and legs hanging out in the aisle as he jumped off of the bus, casting a nervous glance at the older man.

"I'm glad that you were able to meet with me Godric. You had some questions?" Dr. Rosen gestured for the teen to walk towards the right, the path leading towards the darkened park. The teen was twitching nervously, fingers blurring as he tapped out a rhythm along his right hip.

"So… What I can do… It's not really strange?" Godric turned frantic eyes around taking in his surroundings as he walked down the path a step behind the older man. Licking his lips he could taste the lingering metal of his blood mixing with the sweet taste of wine and chocolate. Eyes falling to the ground as he shoved his hands into his pockets to keep them from moving so frantically, his nerves were getting the best of him.

"You are what we call an Alpha. Your abilities are similar to a step up in the evolutionary chain. Your 'Hyper-Acceleration' as you've so fondly named it is due to a deformity in your brain. Parts of it are more developed than is normal, resulting in your ability. The down side is your need to consume high amounts of glucose and carbohydrates, it's an expensive ability but nonetheless special." Dr. Rosen smiled fondly at Godric as the teen seemed to be considering what was being said. Looking up at the stars the older man tilted his head toward the teen. "You're nervous."

"Aphephobia will do that… As long as you stay an arm length away it's fine. Any closer and I have a panic attack." Godric murmured as he turned his eyes towards the Doctor for a moment before looking off to the side like a nervous squirrel, fingers rubbing at his thighs as he pulled them from his pockets trying to wipe away something unseen. Licking his lips he paused looking at Dr. Rosen. "There are others like me?"

"Many. However none of the people I work with possess your ability… Out of curiosity do you think you could explain what it's like? I've never heard of anyone with your skills." Dr. Rosen was smiling softly at the teen as he took a seat on a park bench watching Godric's nervous twitching and mannerisms. Taking in the way the teen shifted his weight from side to side, tapping his fingers and at times his feet as he continually avoided eye contact the older man just offered a steady smile.

"Everything slows down… I'm moving so fast I can just walk across water, my cellular structure is vibrating so fast it makes me dizzy. And I can see everything in an instant… I can see the mother talking on her cell phone while she watches her kids playing… See the kid falling off of the swing angled perfectly, ready to break her arm the instant the world starts moving again… It's like the world stops so I can breathe and it's only been half a second when it starts back up." The stars looked bright, Godric noted as he gazed up trying to ignore the man watching him expectantly. It made his skin crawl, almost the way it made a teacher feel when her students were undressing her with their eyes slowly stroking themselves off under their desks during the darkness of the film being shown. Shaking his head he looked at Dr. Rosen. "I don't want to be alone… And I want to be able to go someplace other than home and the liquor store when my dad wants to get drunk."

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Godric had his knees drawn up to his chest, the lingering scent of vanilla clinging to his flesh just under the scent of fabric softener that held to his newly washed clothes as he sat in the corner of the meeting room, a bottle of chocolate syrup clutched in his fingers in the same manner a junkie held to their drugs. Tongue flicking over his lips after every nervous swig as he stared at the two large males occupying the room. Both with nearly no hair, one black while the other was white of some seemingly European descent if his facial structure had anything to say about it. Eyes falling to the carpet as he suckled at the bottle of chocolate syrup, heart pounding away as he backed against the wall trying to avoid any physical contact that could come about.

The entire room seemed to burst to life as Dr. Rosen walked in with two younger women on his heels with another younger male about his age flicking his fingers around wildly as he gazed into the distance as if he could see something the rest of the world couldn't. Godric wouldn't have been surprised; apparently everyone in this room was special. "Everyone… I'd like you to meet Godric. Please refrain from touching him; he's working through a rather debilitating phobia."

"I don't want to work through it… I don't want anyone touching me… Ever." Godric bit out with his eyes trained on the Doctor, the annoyance was immediately stubbed out by fear as he looked down at the floor curling into himself yet again as he swallowed hard. Fingers working over the denim of his wash worn pants he looked around the room as everyone watched him for a moment before going about their usual day, licking his lips again as he set the bottle of chocolate syrup down on the floor watching the lighter of the two females smirk at the younger white male that had originally occupied the room.

"This is Bill, Gary, Hicks, Nina, and Rachel." Dr. Rosen just smiled as if oblivious to the bite in Godric's words as the teen twitched like a kitten on methamphetamines. He gestured to each person as he named them, offering them a comforting smile as Godric seemed to pull back after the quick outward lash.

Nina jumped as the door suddenly slammed, she hadn't even heard it open. Turning her eyes up she looked at Godric standing with a new bottle of chocolate syrup in his hands as he stood several feet from the table. He was nursing the dark bottle nervously as he switched his weight from one side to the other as he looked at Dr. Rosen for a moment before gazing over the rooms' occupants. "Haven't you had enough sugar? You look like you're going to give yourself a heart attack."

"No… I burn it too fast for it to bother me… I have to eat lots of sugar so my body doesn't try to eat itself. I move too fast…" Godric moved a little closer to the table, only two steps as he tried to get a better look at the female that was looking at her coffee cup intently. As she looked up he jerked back hard, causing himself to stumble as he gave a choked sound seating himself on the ground no longer wanting to attempt to examine the other occupants of the room.

"I like him… He's funny." Gary paused for a moment before sliding his fingers along the electromagnetic waves that displayed themselves to him, smiling at the soft sound of voices that only he could hear before slipping his hand away to brush the images away. Putting his hands on the table he looked at Dr. Rosen intently. "He shouldn't drink that… It's bad for him."

"He's aware of that Gary… But his ability requires him to do so." Dr. Rosen smiled at Gary with that same fond Doctor smile he so often wore when talking to his team. The rest of the meeting was uneventful other than a few outbursts from Gary about unfair treatment and something that was humming. Excusing the team Dr. Rosen cast another glance towards Godric whom had taken to sitting along the wall again.

Rachel looked over at Godric as she stood up. "Dr. Rosen means well… He's not going to ask more than your comfortable with." She brushed her hair over her shoulder offering a soft smile before picking up a pair of files as she turned, casting a lingering look towards the seemingly skittish teen. "It was nice meeting you."