When Chloe first meets Rachel Amber, all she can think of is how breathtaking she is. She is instantly drawn to her. There is something light and happy about her, almost ethereal. When Rachel speaks, she sounds so soothing, so pleasant. Her smile is so bright. Her laugh is so rich. The way she moves and the way she carries herself radiates confidence, unruliness, and undeniable attractiveness. When Rachel asks if she can hang out tomorrow, Chloe's heart melts.
"I'd love to hang with you," Chloe says, trying to play it cool.
Rachel smiles that gorgeous smile of hers, waving goodbye as she sashays away. Chloe throws her hand up in reciprocation. Once Rachel fades into the horizon, Chloe shoves her hands into her pockets, turns around, and grins.
For a moment, she forgets about Max.
Being with Rachel is like being high. Being high with Rachel is like a daydream, but real. Everything and everyone in the universe begins to evaporate around her, all except Rachel. When it's just the two of them lying peacefully still on a bed with the music drowning out the atmosphere, time becomes frozen. Rachel had told her once that the moments they experience together will always be theirs, for just the two of them to have, eternally.
Chloe rests her head against Rachel's chest. Rachel runs her fingers through her hair. Chloe sighs in contentment. They say nothing, but the silence is a comfortable one. This is what it must feel like to be in heaven. If Chloe could remain like this forever… if only she could remain like this forever.
Please don't go anywhere, Chloe thinks to herself as she gazes upon Rachel's beautiful face. Please don't leave me. You're the one good thing in my life. I'm in love with you. She closes her eyes and wraps her arm around Rachel's waist. She entangles her legs around Rachel's.
I hope this never ends.
Chloe has never felt this way before, not even with Max.
Chloe doesn't understand why Rachel needs to hang out with those Vortex Club brats. She doesn't understand how Rachel could be attracted to their plastic personalities. Why does she need them? She has Chloe.
Am I not enough for her?
Before Rachel can say goodbye, Chloe grabs her hand. Hard. The look in Rachel's eyes tells Chloe that she understands how Chloe feels, but wants to party with them anyways. Chloe glares at her in disgust.
"We can party on our own," Chloe insists. "Just the two of us. There's no need for anyone else. Come on, let's get outta here!"
Rachel rolls her eyes and snatches her hand from Chloe's grip. She walks away.
"Rachel?"
Chloe just stands there dumbfounded, watching as Rachel catches up to the Vortex Club. Chloe stares at the clique, her mouth ajar and an anger settling into her chest. Is Rachel fucking serious? A couple members of the Vortex Club glimpse over at Chloe, smirking. God, she could punch all of them in their fucking faces if Rachel wasn't with them right now.
She storms off. Fuck them.
At three in the morning, Chloe hears her window slide open. Her heart skips a beat. Chloe rises from her bed and watches as Rachel climbs into her room, half-stoned. Chloe's breathing slows down as Rachel fumbles around her room before crawling into bed with her.
In Chloe's mind, Rachel slips under the covers and situates herself onto her lap. Chloe then feels her face getting hot. Rachel wraps her arms around Chloe and buries her face into her neck. The weight of Rachel causes the two of them to fall back against the mattress, laughing. Rachel remains on top of Chloe, stroking her face. She kisses the top of Chloe's forehead. Her lips make their way down to Chloe's neck. Chloe closes her eyes and exhales deeply. She envelops Rachel in her arms and rolls Rachel onto her back. Chloe traces her lips against Rachel's own before sliding her tongue inside Rachel's mouth, kissing her firmly. They make out. Messily, frantically, uncontrollably. Rachel tells Chloe that she loves her, and only her. Chloe tells Rachel that she loves her a million times over.
Of course, this doesn't happen.
Instead, Rachel just rolls onto the mattress, her back facing Chloe. Chloe lies down next to her, pressing her back against Rachel's. Rachel tells her the party was boring.
Rachel parties again the next night.
It feels so good to laugh with Rachel. It feels so good to smile, to genuinely smile. Rachel is a vibrant presence in Chloe's dull world. Usually when Chloe hangs out with someone, she gets tired of them after awhile. Not Rachel. Rachel is the opposite of draining: Rachel is revitalizing. She's smart. She's crazy. She's loud. She's fun. And she's absolutely fucking beautiful. Chloe could drown in Rachel's affection. All she needs in life is Rachel's affection.
Chloe winks at Rachel and kisses her hand.
Rachel laughs.
Circular threads of blue, pink, and red overlap intertwining threads of purple, white, and yellow. The letter "C" hangs from the first band and the letter "R" hangs from the second.
"We'll always be friends, right?" Chloe asks, as if the friendship bracelets aren't proof enough for her.
Rachel nods and presses her lips to Chloe's temple.
Chloe feels like she doesn't need Max anymore.
Rachel suggests they run away together.
"Fuck yeah!" Chloe says, her face lighting up. "I'm so down. You and me taking on the world together! Where to?"
Rachel grins. She says that she wants to go to Los Angeles and become a model. Rachel digs through her bag and hands Chloe a camera. She strips down to her panties, still wearing her red, flannel shirt. Rachel shakes her head wildly, messing up her hair in a perfectly sexy way. She tells Chloe to turn up the music. Chloe does. Rachel cheers and jumps onto Chloe's bed, dancing.
Chloe looks at Rachel with longing eyes. Rachel poses, always ready to accept the center of attention. Chloe aims the camera, focusing on Rachel. Rachel makes several poses before dancing wildly again. Chloe takes more snapshots. She loves the candid stills just as much as the staged ones. Rachel tells Chloe that she can keep the photos, and Chloe's heart races.
She knows Rachel belongs in the limelight, but she wants Rachel to belong to her. No one else should get to enjoy the presence of such an angel. Only her.
Rachel receives a text and starts putting on her pants.
"Wait, where are you going?" Chloe asks, disappointed. Rachel tells her not to worry about it. She gives Chloe a quick kiss on the cheek. Chloe blushes. She watches as Rachel darts out the door without saying another word. Her chest aches.
"What the hell, Rachel? You're just gonna ditch me and not tell me why?" Chloe throws the chair next to her in frustration. She hurls herself onto her bed. "Whatever."
I would be so good to you if you were mine, she thinks. Everyone else will take advantage of your beauty and your popularity and your talent. They won't treat you like the goddess you are. I want to have you all to myself.
Chloe believes she will.
Someday.
Rachel holds up a photograph of Chloe and Max asks Chloe why she hasn't mentioned her before.
"That's Max," Chloe says bitterly. "She was my best friend." Chloe takes the photograph from Rachel and stares at it for a minute, wistful. She smiles a small, sad smile before furrowing her brows in resentment. Chloe hands the photograph back to Rachel. "After my dad left me, Max did too, not long after. Some best friend, huh? Hasn't written or called me since."
Chloe tries to shrug it off. "Whatever. It's not like I need her anymore. I have you now."
Rachel narrows her eyes, skeptical. She asks Chloe to describe Max.
"I don't want to talk about her," Chloe snaps.
Rachel tells Chloe that she should. Rachel tells Chloe that it's obvious she still cares for her. Chloe scratches her head.
"Max… well, she's a lot like you, in some ways," Chloe admits. "Max didn't always get the grades, but she's crazy smart in her own way. She's artistic like you... obsessed with photography and her own image. Your personalities are different, but at heart, I think you two would get along really well."
Rachel says that she would love to meet Max someday. A wave of nostalgia hits Chloe.
"I'd love that too."
On the nights when Rachel isn't beside her in bed, Chloe lies awake thinking about her. Sometimes she likes to imagine simple things they already do together—making breakfast, gazing at the stars, walking along the beach at sunset, or sitting in front of bonfires at American Rust. And sometimes, she dreams about kissing Rachel and feeling up Rachel in such dirty, sinful ways. She dreams about sex. A lot.
Rachel.
Chloe sighs.
"Where the hell have you been?"
Rachel simply says that she's been busy. She looks high.
Chloe glares. "Busy doing what?"
Rachel tells Chloe to chill. She emphasizes that she can do whatever the hell she wants, but it doesn't mean that she cares for Chloe any less. Rachel says that she's been working on getting some cash for the two of them.
"Dude, that's awesome!" beams Chloe. "But you know I can totally help you out with that. And don't hide out on me, Rachel. Tell me what you've been up to and who the hell you've been seeing."
Rachel shakes her head. She tells Chloe that she can't say. She explains that Chloe might freak out if she told her the truth.
"Are you fucking serious?" Chloe asks. "Why the hell are you keeping secrets from me?" Feeling helpless, Chloe bursts into tears. "You're my best friend. You can't do this to me!"
Rachel promises Chloe that everything she is doing is for their goal. She says they will get the hell away from Arcadia Bay as soon as they can get enough cash. She embraces Chloe tightly. Chloe reciprocates. Rachel tells Chloe to trust her.
She does.
Miss you
Wish you were here!
Rach
Chloe scoffs. She flings the postcard onto the floor and throws herself onto the bed. If Rachel had really meant that, she would've taken Chloe with her. Instead, Rachel is with God-knows-who having a great time wherever-the-hell-she-is without her.
Just like Max.
"Rachel, here. I made this for you."
Chloe flashes a timid smile as she hands Rachel a CD labeled Rachel Songs. Rachel grins. She switches out the other CD from Chloe's Hi-Fi and pops it in. The music starts to play. Rachel wraps her arms around Chloe, spinning her around. They both laugh wildly as they spin and spin and spin, spinning until they're dizzy and crash onto Chloe's bed, in each other's arms. They gaze into each other's eyes. Chloe feels caught in a trance whenever she looks at Rachel. Rachel is just that stunning.
Chloe leans in for a kiss. Rachel tilts her head back, avoiding Chloe's lips.
"Rachel?" Chloe asks. "Is everything okay?"
Rachel tells Chloe kissing her wouldn't feel right.
Those words replay throughout Chloe's mind every night.
It always seems as if Rachel has somewhere else to be.
But whenever she rolls into Chloe's room—high or drunk or both—it always seems as if she's happy to be here, to be back, with Chloe. And even though Chloe wants to know where she's been and what she's been doing without her, she knows Rachel won't tell her. Not specifically, anyways.
"I'm so glad you decided to come here tonight," Chloe says, smiling softly. "I thought you would be out all night again."
Rachel says she's just stopping by to let Chloe know that she'll be at a Vortex Club party. She strips down and searches for her clothes within Chloe's closet. She asks Chloe if she would like to join her.
Chloe shakes her head in disbelief. "No fucking way." She crosses her arms. "Why do you keep wasting your time with those rich snobs?"
Rachel shrugs. She says that they're not a waste of time and that they can be fun in their own way. She adds that parties are a whole different experience altogether, and suggests Chloe give it a try.
"I'll pass," Chloe mutters. She looks away. "Fine, go ahead and leave me again. I see you've got other people you'd rather be spending your time with."
Rachel shoots Chloe a hard stare, saying that Chloe isn't her only friend. She says that she's tired of feeling guilty every time she hangs out with someone other than Chloe. She says that she doesn't want to feel like she can't go out. She says that she wants to be free.
"They don't deserve you, Rachel!" Chloe shouts. "I do! I care about you more than anyone else could ever care about you!"
Rachel yells at Chloe that she met a guy who changed her life. She says that Chloe wouldn't understand, because the connection she has with this new guy is more passionate and more real than any other relationship she's had in her life. She says that he understands her in ways that Chloe never will.
Chloe doesn't say anything. She can't, not really. The words hurt more than a slap to the face. A melting pot of emotions stirs inside Chloe.
Betrayal. Disappointment. Heartbreak. Sorrow. Loss. Rage.
He changed her life, huh? I guess I'm nothing special to her.
"Alright then," Chloe finally says, her voice trembling. She suppresses every urge to cry. "I guess I'll see you whenever."
Rachel apologizes for how harsh her words came out and explains that although she met someone life-changing, Chloe will always have a place in her heart. She tells Chloe that she loves her.
The way she says it isn't how Chloe had always imagined it would sound like. The feeling Chloe gets when she hears it isn't what Chloe expected it to feel like.
Rachel gives Chloe a light peck on the cheek before saying goodbye.
Chloe breaks down after she leaves.
The police may have stopped searching, but Chloe never will.
I know in my heart you're still alive, Chloe thinks to herself. You have to be. I know you wouldn't just leave without telling me. I'll find you, Rachel. And when I do, we'll ditch this town and you'll become a model and it'll just be you and me. I promise.
Chloe grabs a photograph of her and Rachel and folds it in half so it only shows Rachel. She makes hundreds and hundreds of posters. She begins plastering them all over Arcadia Bay, starting with Blackwell. Then she moves on to the Two Whales Diner, then the beach, then everywhere else. Chloe will ensure that everyone recognizes Rachel's face and that everyone knows her features.
Rachel will be known, and she will be found.
You could never get enough of being the center of attention.
Chloe leaves her window unlocked every night.
Just in case.
Fin.