Halloween in Hell
Okay, here's the deal. The Fox producers got chewed out when they realized Pokémon had a whole bunch of Halloween episodes and Digimon didn't. So, acting on a whim, they decided to send the Digidestined to spend an entire night in England's most haunted castle, Chillingham (it's a real place). Oh, this should be fun.
"I DON'T WANNA GO!" Mimi wailed.
"Oh, come on, Mimi. You want to get paid, don't you?" Tai asked.
"But I don't wanna spend a night in a haunted castle!"
"I don't either!" Lia said firmly. "If I die, I'm telling you right now I'll be reincarnated into the next Dark Master so I can come after you guys for making me do this!"
"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you," Matt replied, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Can't we go trick-or-treating like normal kids?" Nicki asked.
"We're not normal kids, we don't get a normal Halloween. Sucks to be us, doesn't it?" Izzy pointed out.
"Uh, you guys do realize the digimon aren't going to be with us, right?" Sora mentioned nervously.
"WHAT?" everyone asked.
"I knew I should've read the fine print!" Davis groaned.
"And what's worse, we'll be locked in!" T.K. added.
"This is bad, bad, bad!" Yolei moaned.
"Is there any way of backing out?" Kari asked meekly.
"I think we're stuck. Maybe I should bring my kendo sticks," Cody contemplated.
"I don't think you can hit a ghost with a kendo stick," Joe observed.
The digimon popped up, Wizardmon holding a really long list.
"Guys, if your lives brutally cease during this trying adventure, this is what we want: Lia, your Harry Potter stuff, including that fan club newsletter. Matt, your guitar and the CD burner. Tai, that soccer ball autographed by Mia Hamm. Joe, Gomamon wants all your medical equipment, including the syringes. Sora, your Wimbledon cup. Izzy, your laptop and Internet account. Nicki, we want your pokémon. Cody, all your kendo sticks, in various colors. T.K. we request your Gilligan hat. Kari, your digital camera and that supply of Meow Mix under your sink. Yolei, we don't any of your crap, except for your tab at the store. Davis, fork over the goggles. And Mimi, Palmon wants the contents of those twenty-seven makeup containers and the stuff from your Matt shrine."
"Wait a minute. You have a shrine to me?"
~*~
The Digidestined flew to England that very afternoon, and were escorted to Chillingham.
"Okay, so you're going to walk down that walkway…it's called the Devil's Walk…and then go in through the doors. You'll all be wearing these vest cams," the guide instructed.
"Uh, excuse me, do these come in pink and puffy?" Mimi asked.
"No, sorry. Once inside, you'll be given a few more instructions. And be careful, kids."
The Digidestined walked down the pathway, many holding hands.
"Lia, you're shaking like a leaf," Matt murmured.
"I don't want to do this," she whispered back.
"I won't let anything hurt you, Kari," T.K. said.
"Me neither!" Davis chorused.
"Davis, if you don't quit stalking me I'll let the ghosts get you!" Kari hissed.
"Ya think we'll see anything?" Sora asked.
"Dunno," Tai answered nervously.
"This is just not…" Nicki grumbled.
"Prodigious?" Izzy replied.
"They could have at least let me bring my kendo sticks," Cody sighed.
"Kendo? How about Ken? I'd be happy if he was here!" Yolei wailed.
"Okay, we're here. No turning back now," Joe said, pushing the door open.
Inside, the Digidestined were given a bunch of spiffy ghost detector things and some infrared and heat detecting cameras.
"There's no way out now," the woman inside said. "The only other way is by pushing the buzzer in your room. If you push it, you'll all leave, get fired, and Fox will become a Pokémon network."
"Push the buzzer and die," Matt threatened the others.
"Now, you'll all be scattered throughout the castle. Have fun," the girl said, blindfolding everybody and slowly leading them to different sections of Chillingham.
~*~
So everybody got separated and spread to different rooms. They all had to do this evil-sounding Druid chant and pour chicken blood on a candle to open the portal to the spirit realm. After that, they turned on their two-way radios.
"Lia? Where are you?" Matt called.
"The torture chambers!" she howled back, still violently shaking.
"I'm in the dungeons, not too far from you. You all right?"
"It got wicked cold in here all of a sudden. Where are the rest of you?"
"The Grey Room," Cody reported.
"The Library," Joe added.
"The Chapel," Sora stated.
Everybody else listed their locations, and Mimi was actually glad at where she was.
"The Pink Room!" she cried happily.
"Uh, how can you be excited about it? It's haunted!" Davis called.
"But it's pink!"
"Does anybody have a watch on?" Yolei asked.
"We've been here five minutes, genius. We still have another twelve hours to go," Nicki retorted.
"Did you hear that?" Izzy asked.
"Hear what?" Tai asked back.
"Something just made a banging noise in here!"
"Oh great, five minutes and already we've got company. Did anybody bring a cell phone?" Kari asked.
"Who ya gonna call?" T.K. questioned.
"Okay, enough with the Ghostbusters jokes. I get…AHHHHHH!" Lia shrieked.
"Lia? What is it?" Matt asked.
"SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME!"
"Perverted ghosts! I'll get them!"
"AAHHHHHH!" Mimi screamed.
"Another ghost?" Joe asked.
"NO, A RAT!"
Okay, so everybody is freaking out. Not fun, huh? After a good hour or two Cody came in over the radio.
"Uh, guys?"
"There a problem, Cody?" Tai asked.
"Yup. I see dead people."
"Quick, get them on film!" Izzy hollered.
"Anybody else hanging with the walking dead?" Davis asked.
"Uh, the drawers are all rattling in here," Sora mentioned.
"The books are falling off the shelves," Joe announced.
"I don't have anything walking, but there's a bunch of cadavers down here!" Matt griped.
"THE RAT IS CHEWING ON MY PURSE!" Mimi wailed.
"How come they took my pokéballs? The contract said no digimon, I never saw anything about no pokémon!" Nicki groaned.
"Yolei, Kari, T.K. you guys have been quiet. Any activity?"
"Uh, not much," T.K. said.
"I'm working on constructing a Ghostbusters gun thingy out of a vacuum cleaner and three paper clips," Yolei stated.
"Does a ghost cat count as paranormal?" Kari asked.
"Lia, what's going on? Is everything okay?" Matt asked.
"There's…somebody…in here with me! He's in…one of those…hanging cagey things. And there's…something that…keeps touching me!" she managed to make out between sobs.
"Okay, I have had enough with these freaking ghosts hitting on my girlfriend! I am going in there and kicking some supernatural a**!" Matt shouted, going for the door. It was locked.
"Dammit, they've locked us into our rooms!"
"SO I'M LOCKED IN WITH THE RAT?" Mimi wailed.
"Matt, get me out of here now!" Lia sobbed.
"I can't, the door's locked!"
"Izzy, I'm being chased around by little glowing things and they won't leave me alone!" Nicki shouted.
"All these books are in German! I can't read German!" Joe yelled.
"I got my Ghostbusters do-hickey to work!" Yolei exclaimed.
"Good for you, we need a lock pick!" Tai shouted.
"And some rat poison!" Mimi added.
"I'll break this door down if it's the last thing I do!" Matt hollered.
"What if we burn our way through with the chicken blood candles?" Sora asked.
"They all burnt out!" Kari pointed out.
"QUIT TOUCHING ME!" Lia screamed.
"THAT DOES IT!" Using phenomenally spiffy moves straight out of some R-rated action movie with Tom Cruise or somebody like that, Matt managed to bust the door down. Lia was in the corner, pointing at the figure advancing towards Matt.
"Hello, little Mullet Boy. How would you like a keychain?"
"GOD DAMN, IT'S PIEDMON! AND I DON'T HAVE A MULLET!"
"AAAH! Myotismon is in the library with me!" Joe shouted.
"Wassup, Doc?"
"Would you get the hell away from me? I'm not a stupid eight-year-old!" T.K .shouted.
"But you're a stupid twelve-year-old with a Gilligan hat! The lousy Americans cut out our gun scene, but now I can make your stomach explode like I wanted to in the first place!" Puppetmon shouted back.
"Bloody Hell! Not you!" Nicki shrieked.
"Uh-huh-huh!" Etemon's ghost sang.
"Devimon!"
"And Ladydevimon!"
"Metalseadramon!"
"Machinedramon!"
"THE RAT JUST WENT DOWN THE FRONT OF MY SHIRT!" Mimi screamed.
"Okay, it's ghost busting time!" Yolei shouted, bursting from her room and turning the vacuum cleaner on. One by one the evil dead digimon got sucked up into the vacuum, which exploded afterwards.
"Can we go home now?" Sora asked.
"What time is it?" Tai asked.
"I don't know, my freaking watch stopped. The sun is up, we can go!" Nicki announced, bolting for the door. Everybody else followed and caught the first plane back to Odaiba.
~*~
Back at the computer room…
The digimon had collected most of the stuff out of their kids' closets.
"Huh, maybe we can pawn Matt's guitar," Gomamon suggested, playing with Joe's syringes.
"As long as you leave me the Harry Potter books," Wizardmon said.
"HAHAHHAHAHA! I am now the Team Rocket Gym Leader! Nothing can stop me!" Shadowmon cackled.
"Oh really? How about thirteen pissed off kids?"
"EEP!"
~*~
Happy Halloween from (deep breath) Lia Agianna, Matt Ishida, Tai Kamiya, Sora Takenouchi, Mimi Tachikawa, Joe Kido, Izzy Izumi, Nicki Sjolin, T.K. Takaishi, Kari Kamiya, Davis Motomiya, Yolei Inoue, Cody Hida, Ken Ichijoji, Wizardmon, Gabumon, Agumon, Biyomon, Palmon, Gomamon, Tentomon, Shadowmon, Patamon (a.k.a. Batpig), Gatomon, Veemon, Hawkmon, Armadillomon, and Wormmon!