Disclaimer: Do you think people ever get tired of having to write these things? I mean, how many times do I have to say, "I don't own Tenchi Muyo!, the characters, and all other names. And that they're actually owned by Pioneer?" Well, all that stuff that I just said applies. Happy?

Oh yeah... Just so there's no confusion... This is based on the OAV storyline, fyi.

More Than I Can Stand

It was yet another beautiful autumn day on planet earth, and once again, on a day when it would be so nice to either bathe in the onsen or simply take a nap under the thick canopy of trees near their home, Tenchi's grandfather Katsuhito recruited him and the girls to help clean up the shrine. Mihoshi and Aeka quickly set to work, sweeping up the fallen leaves and dirt off the pathway. Tenchi was working hardest of all, as usual, being ordered around by his grandfather. Sasami was in the kitchen preparing meals for the rest of them. Washu, as reclusive as ever, was locked away in her lab, with a "Do Not Disturb: Scientist At Work" sign on the door. Ryoko was, of course, no where to be seen. Ryo-ohki, meanwhile, was prancing and running through the forest, jumping into piles of leaves and cherry blossoms the others had spent so much time sweeping up.

The little cabbit continued to have fun amusing herself simply by making a bigger mess than there was before, until a strange creature appeared before her. It wasn't like her friends at all. It was shorter and walked on all fours, but it wasn't like her either. Shorter ears, a long tail that was moving back and forth. No whiskers, really. As she moved closer to the beast, it lowered its head and bared its big, sharp-looking white teeth and began to emit an ominous growl. Ryo-ohki tried to talk to the monster, but as she tried, it started to yell at her more loudly than anything she'd heard before! Without thinking, she turned and bolted out of there heading back towards the shrine. She ran up the stairs, not even bothering to see if the thing was chasing after her.

At the top of the long staircase at the shrine, Aeka was perched precariously at the top of a ladder attempting to dislodge a clump of leaves from the roof's shingles. Mihoshi was sweeping inside the office, while Tenchi was mopping down the walkway. He stopped for a moment, noticing Aeka working so hard. Well, he needed a break, too, he had to admit.

"How's it going up there, Miss Aeka? Almost done?" he asked her with a smile.

"Oh, I uh... think I may be close to being... done, Tenchi-sama," she replied, attempting to maintain her cautious balance at the top of the ladder while tugging at the leaves.

"Well, good! I think it shouldn't be too much more of a wait until lunch time," Tenchi said back to her.

Hearing talk of food, Mihoshi was there in an instant next to Tenchi. "Lunch?! Oh good! I'm getting so hungry my stomach feels like an air lock!"

"Same here," he said to the blonde, as he laughed. He was about to finish saying something when, out of nowhere, Ryo-ohki flew up the stairs and under Aeka's ladder, knocking it off its uneasy balance. The ladder began to tilt and shake, about ready to fall with Aeka clutching at the top of it. "Aaaaah! Tenchi-sama! Help me!" she screamed in panic.

"Wha? Miss Aeka!" Tenchi barely got out before he ran to her just as the ladder began its dramatic fall to the ground.

"AAAAAAHHHH!!!" Aeka screamed loudly as the cement ground grew closer by the millisecond. She closed her eyes, preparing for the impact, when she felt her body land on something soft and strong... and THAT is what hit the ground. She lay there for a second, her eyes tightly pinched together, and then, slowly, she began to open them.

"Huh?" she said with a blink. "Oh, Tenchi!" she yelped as she realized she was laying on top of him on the ground, as he lay there wincing in pain. "Are you alright, Tenchi-sama?"

"Ngh... Yeah... I..." he said rubbing the back of his head. "I guess I am... Are you okay?" he moaned out, the pain behind his voice obvious.

Touched by his selflessness, Aeka held the back of his head with one hand while the other still clutched at his shirt, and all she could do was blink and breathe heavily from the adrenaline rush. "Um... yes... yes, I'm fine... Thank you..."

Mihoshi was nowhere to be seen, Aeka noticed as she started to glance about, but still not removing herself from off of Tenchi. He too began to look, but not around, just straight up at her and he smiled softly. She smiled in return.

At that moment, Ryoko decided to finally grace them with her presence. She floated up the stairs as she looked around from side to side calling for her Tenchi. "Tenchi! Oh, Tenchi! Where are you? Let's take a quick jump in the springs before lunch!" she called out till she reached the top. "Ten......chi......." she barely squeaked out when she beheld Aeka with her arms wrapped around her man as he lay there looking euphoric, not knowing he'd just suffered a blow to the head.

Tenchi's eyes suddenly opened fully and he looked straight at Ryoko, with a look of fear running all across his face. Aeka also turned to face her with a look of hatred and triumph. "Ryoko, it's not-" he began, but before he could finish, Aeka forcefully planted her lips onto his own, both to satisfy her own desire and to spite her rival. Tenchi could barely move as he was caught off-guard by her kiss, and all he could do was to look at Ryoko with a desperate pleading in his eyes whose intensity was outdone only by Ryoko's look of absolute devastation. Not bearing to witness anymore of this nightmare, Ryoko, with no more than a quick whimper, vanished.

Once the mummy-woman was gone, Aeka released her grip on Tenchi and she began to rise up off of him. Still in shock, Tenchi asked, "Aeka! What was that for?"

She smiled and giggled as she offered her hand to help him up. He took her hand and stood facing her. "Oh, that? That was just a small token of gratitude. You see, you saved my life. It's only fitting that I now give you mine."

Beginning to grow uneasy at the way Aeka was talking, Tenchi stammered out, "Huh? Wha-what do you mean?"

She just smiled again and drew closer to him, keeping his hand in hers. "Why, Tenchi-sama, I would have thought you'd know by now."

"Um... know what?" he asked, fearing she was about to announce what he was afraid of.

"We're going to be married of course!" she said joyfully and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.

"Uh, Miss Aeka...I, uh..." he struggled. "I don't think I'm ready to be married anytime soon, but I ... uh... thanks, I guess."

She backed off just a little bit and chuckled audibly in her own royal kind of way. "Oh, Tenchi-sama. You're silly. Of course we're not going to be married soon."

With a sigh of relief, he began, "Phew! Oh, well... You sure had me going for awhi-" he said, but was interrupted by Aeka breaking in.

"We need at least a year to plan the wedding ceremony! All citizens of Jurai will need to be invited. Plus, we'll have to plan enough food for all the people of the empire, too... and oh what else?...."

Completely flabbergasted, Tenchi could barely manage, "What?! A year? Wedding? Guests? Wha.. wha..."

Aeka once again hugged him EXTREMELY tightly, reminding Tenchi of her mother, Misaki. "Yes, my dearest Tenchi. A whole year. I realize it will be difficult to wait that long, so if you'd like...," she said as her hand flattened against his chest and began to move slowly down his body. She finished by whispering softly in his ear, "... We could present our vows in private tonight." She kissed his cheek softly and smiled at him, before turning and slinking away as proud and happy as could be. Tenchi just stood there for awhile frozen and shaking with blood running out of his nose.

Meanwhile, back at the cave, Ryoko sat just inside the entrance way. She sat there by herself, clutching her legs tightly and sloshing on a huge bottle of sake as she rocked back and forth mumbling to herself about Tenchi.

After what seemed like an eternity of rocking, mumbling, and thinking about her lost love, she noticed her bottle was empty. "Shimata!" she yelled as she threw it several miles up and away. Watching it fall, she allowed herself to also fall, going backwards, and laying on the cold ground as she continued her awful meditation.

She couldn't bear holding it in any longer... She unleashed a torrent of tears and wailed loudly, scaring the birds out of their trees. She covered her face with her hands and continued with her cries of misery.

When she'd cried her last tear, she moved her hands away from her face and blinked through her foggy eyes... and found herself inside Washu's lab. She sat up and yelled, "Hey, Mom! What's a girl gotta do to get some privacy!"

Washu was at her floating cushion and computer terminal, her legs dangling in the air with her long pink spikey hair flowing down to the ground. "Now, dear, you shouldn't be keeping secrets from your mother! Secrets are what make troublesome daughters!" she scolded Ryoko.

Her vision cleared up, Ryoko stood and stalked over to Washu. "Listen to me, Mom, I am in NO mood for any of your crap! So, unless you'll assist me with my suicide, I'm gonna-" she began, but stopped as Washu waved her hand and smiled. Ryoko tried to speak, scream, yell, and everything else, but she couldn't!

"Now, I know what you're thinking," Washu began, waving her index finger at Ryoko as she got up off her cushion and stood. "You think you've lost Tenchi, right? Well, I've got news for you. The only thing you've lost so far is your voice, and that's for your own good, before you say something you'll regret later." Washu turned and began to walk towards an open door Ryoko didn't recognize. "Now, if you'll just follow me this way, please!" Ryoko got up and followed her angrily, hoping maybe for a chance to strangle her for taking her voice away.

Ryoko blinked as she attempted to adjust to the big dimly lit... Movie theater? she wondered. That's what it was, alright. Washu beckoned Ryoko to come sit next to her in the front row, and as soon as she did, out of nowhere, they each had a big bucket of buttery popcorn . She just blinked and decided to put up with Washu's eccentricities and began to eat the popcorn.

The room went totally black and an image began to appear on the screen. Ryoko just groaned and rested her chin on her propped up hand as she prepared to endure more of her "mother's" weirdness. On the screen, credits began to roll for whatever kind of "movie" this was they were about to see.

Washu Productions Presents

A Washu film

I Know What Happened A Little While Ago

Starring

Tenchi Masaki

Ryoko

Aeka Jurai

And the credits went on and on, taking forever. Ryoko had begun to nod off, when the "film" finally got underway. Tenchi was the first image to be shown. He was back at the top of the shrine steps sweeping as he'd been doing earlier. The film was apparently just a recording of what had transpired earlier at the shrine, just before Ryoko had arrived. Seeing her beloved, Ryoko's interest perked up immediately, but then, as Aeka came into view, her happiness quickly faded into grief and anger. As they sat there watching, Ryoko painfully watched that wicked princess flirt with her man! Washu looked like she was simply entranced by it, leaning forward, eyes wide open, and shoving kernel after kernel of popcorn into her mouth. When the part arrived where Aeka's ladder got hit by Ryo-ohki, Ryoko began to cheer and applaud the teetering ladder as best she could with no voic. Of course, Tenchi being the kind-hearted one that he is, selflessly caught Aeka and got hurt himself. After a moment of wondering why in the hell Washu was making her watch this again, she finally began to figure it out. When Aeka kissed Tenchi, she could see that he wasn't exactly in any position to get away and hadn't kissed her first. In fact, he'd struggled to stop it. After several close-ups of Tenchi's hurt and sadness that mirrored Ryoko's, she stood up from her seat and left the theater with new determination.

"Hey!" Washu yelled after her. "Aren't you gonna stay through the whole thing? I paid good money for these seats!" Ryoko just stood in the doorway and twitched at how damn annoying she was, as usual. Not bothering to try to reply, Ryoko walked out the door and back into Washu's lab. And there was Washu already. Back at her cushion faster than Ryoko could've seen. Ryoko just blinked and sighed a "whatever."

"So! What'd you think of my film, Ryoko? I tried to capture the true struggles of human emotion while making sure not to make it too artificial. Of course, good casting always helps with that. I think I might be up for some major awards for this one! Oh, let's see... Best Director, yes! Best Picture, yes! Hehehehehehehee... Oh, what else-"

Finally growing sick of this nonsense, Ryoko blurted out, "Will you knock it off?! Okay, so now I know that Tenchi isn't really in love with Aeka, but it looks like she's practically made him her own house-trained husband already! What the hell am I gonna do?!" She stopped for a moment after her outburst and blinked. "Huh? When did my voice come back?"

"As soon as you exited the theater, silly girl. I couldn't have a loud-mouth like you talking all the way through the movie! I just hate that! And people putting their feet up on the seats in front of them. I hate that too!" Realizing she was rambling, Washu bonked herself quickly with her own fist. "Okay! Never mind all that for now!" Now she was getting serious. "So, you ask, 'What can you do to get your Tenchi away from Aeka,' correct?" Ryoko nodded back determined and glad to have the project underway.

"Simple. You get another boyfriend" Washu told her.

"WHAT?!" Ryoko screamed starting to get ticked off again. "I... don't... think... you... get... it..." she said through clenched teeth. "I don't want another boyfriend, I want Ten-" she said before she was cut-off, once again stripped of her voice.

Washu sighed impatiently and began her explanation. "Now, listen, Ryoko. This plan IS intended to get Tenchi back for yourself, maybe permanently, but you've gotta be able to LISTEN to me!" She paused. "Got it?" she said with a smile.

Ryoko breathed deeply, forcing herself to relax and nodded again. Washu continued, "Now, just so we can get through this, I'm going to keep your voice for the remainder of the lesson. Hehehe... Anyways, as I was saying. You need a new boyfriend, but not a real boyfriend. A fake one. One that you can show off in front of Tenchi in order to drive him crazy with jealousy. Get it now?" she asked with a wink. Ryoko looked thoughtful for a moment, and then nodded in agreement.

"Good! Now, you're wondering just where in the world we're going to get you another man suitable for the task at hand. Well, don't you worry, 'cause Mom's got that under control" Washu said proudly as she hopped back to her cushion and console and began typing away as a monitor appeared in front of her. Ryoko walked over to observe. On the screen was displayed a male figure, almost looking like a doll or action figure. "What the hell is she up to?" Ryoko wondered. Washu chimed in, "By now, you're probably wondering, 'What the hell is she up to?' Am I right?" Ryoko snarled at her for reading her mind again, which she HATED, but forced herself to cool down so they could get to work. "What I'm up to, Ryoko," Washu went on to explain, "is designing your new boyfriend. We're going to make him similar to how I made you and Ryo-ohki, but I'm not going to spend as much time cultivating him. He'll just be what we need to get the job done, then return him for our money back! How's that sound to you?" Ryoko motioned that she liked the plan. "Alright, dear, I'm going to give you your voice back so you can help me input whatever data you want as far as his looks go." As soon as she finished her sentence, Ryoko's voice came back and she kept in mind to control her temper.

"Well, let's see..." Ryoko began as she gave Washu the data for how she wanted the boy to look. After entering the data and hitting the Enter button, an image appeared on the screen. It was Tenchi. Washu just smiled at her daughter's devotion. "Hmm. Well, I can see it's no use asking you about other men, so I'll just go ahead and do it myself." Washu pressed more keys and hit enter again and the image of Tenchi was replaced by another boy who looked about fifteen or sixteen, but had longish, scruffy mossy green hair (actually brown ... inside joke for GW fans), big brown eyes, dressed in a green tank top, tight bicycle shorts, and tennis shoes. Ryoko blinked curiously as it, not too impressed, but noticed Washu leaning on her elbows looking dreamily at the image. Ryoko was getting impatient. "Hey, Mom! Snap out of it!"

"Huh? What? Oh.. hehe... Sorry" she replied. Ryoko rolled her eyes and asked if they could continue. "Yes. You're right. Moving on." Washu hit more keys and Ryoko noticed the tank full of the brown, blob-like mass begin to show signs of activity. The mass were once again clumping together and heading for a large metal chamber that connected to the tank. At first glance it looked like a slow-cooker or some other kind of kitchen cookware. The mass went into the chamber and a green light came on above it.

"Alright!" Washu chimed triumphantly. "His body is almost done. Next, we'll have to program his personality. Do you want kind and charming, or dark and brooding? I prefer the latter one myself" she said with a giggle.

"I don't care! I just want to get this thing done before Aeka forces Tenchi to start making babies!" Ryoko shouted.

"Alright, alright, alright. Sheesh... So impatient" she replied to her daughter as she hit more keys and hit Enter again. There was a loud escape of steam from the chamber that held the mass. As the chamber began to open, Ryoko and Washu both strained to see through the cloud of steam from within it. After the cloud had dissipated, they could both clearly see the newly created figure. Washu hopped off her cushion and they both walked over to inspect it. "Hmm. Not bad, if I do say so myself" Washu said proudly.

"Yeah, it's not bad. Certainly no Tenchi, but not bad in the looks department. So, what kind of personality is he gonna have? Hey you! Can you hear me?!" Ryoko shouted at the boy. It turned its head towards her slowly and glared at her.

"You're loud" it commented. Washu couldn't help but break out laughing. She grabbed her stomach and fell on the floor rolling about hysterically, which just drove Ryoko insane between that and this jerk of a creation.

"Hey, listen you! You've got a job to do and you're damn well gonna do it! Got it?" she asked, grabbing him by his shirt collar. It looked back at her blankly.

"Yeah, I got it" it said flatly.

"Good!" Ryoko said, grabbing his hand and teleporting them out of there.

"Hey wait!" Washu shouted trying to stop them, but it was too late. "Oh boy. What an impulsive girl. Oh well. It's her fault we didn't get to put the finishing touches on him." Washu sat at her cushion again and smiled to herself, getting back to her work.