A/N: I suddenly got the question how would have one of the brothers come home if he had left before the show started. So I thought to answer that. And this is what came out from I head. and I'm sorry if the poem is not quite according to the rules of 19 century.
It was a cold, dark evening; he had been away for five years, two years longer than he wished. He had left when he was 27. And now he was returning to the land he once called home, he still did, but he was afraid. He was afraid of the changes. He didn't know what had or hadn't changed. So, he was afraid that the place he had once loved so much and kept in his heart had changed so drastically that it would be unrecognizable, and that the sweet dreams and memories would be crushed. And he knew where he had to go first. He had lost contact with his family five years ago, when he left with anger. He knew they thought he was dead. Some times he thought that it was for the best, being dead in his father's and brothers' eyes. He had hurt them when he left; crushed the love their family had shared. But the next moment reality kicked him, and he knew that those thoughts didn't get him anywhere.
Lake Tahoe shined in the moonlight. It was the blessed eve, and he prayed first time in a long time. In those five years he had lost his fate somewhere in this wild world – in the land where even faith couldn't help you. He didn't even remember when it had happened. His father had never been very strict about religion; he knew that his sons believed in their own way. However, now here, he felt that he had to pray. He wasn't sure why. So he prayed and in his heart was just one wish: for everything to be the way it was, or at least a second chance from his father and, even more, from his brothers.
He got to the place on the lakeside he wanted to reach. And the sight that greeted him, gave him hope. Marie's grave was covered with snow. Marie has been the woman who he had for so long hated and fought. He had been afraid that his father's new wife will make him forget Inger, Hoss' ma, the only mother Adam had ever known and would take away his Pa's and brother's love for him. At the time he hadn't understood that one's heart could be so big so you could love many around you. But Marie had taught him that and Adam had finally found the courage to call someone mother again. For six years she had bought back the happiness and love, what only mother could give, to Cartwright family. And then she was gone. Adam cleaned the headstone, the words Beloved wife and mother, stung his heart, but gave him relief.
He walked to Sport, who he had taken with him when had left. He got on to him and rode home.
Hoss had been the size of a full-grown man already when he was seventeen, and had finally hit the line of manhood the same year when Adam had left. Hoss had been twenty-one, when there was the big fight between his father and him. Now he knew it had been childish, but at the time leaving seemed like a good idea. Joe had been fifteen, so full of life and love, just like his mother. Sometimes Adam was envious, because his baby brother had had a real childhood; something he had never had. And Joe sure knew how to enjoy his luck. Since the day Adam had come home from college, it had seemed so hard to find a common ground with that kid, it had hurted because he remembered that little boy who he had left behind when he left.
Now looking back he and his brothers had had great times. They had laugh, pulled pranks and fought. Now he remembered what their father had said – he had wished that no-one of them would ever grow up, yes, in some point they would become men, but that the love and humor between them would never disappear.
He rode in the moonlight on the Christmas Eve towards home. His watch showed ten minutes before midnight, he will be home in an hour or so on the Christmas day morning. Suddenly he remembered a poem he written when Joe was four and had gotten sick. It had seemed like he would die soon. The Cartwright household had been struck with sadness, gloominess, and it had seemed as if all the life would have been sucked out from everyone. And now, after all these years on his lonely ride back to home, he found himself quoting it.
Death take me, please
And give my brother a life.
Give him green pastures
And great pine trees
To play and run.
Death take me, please
And give my brother a life.
Let him ride.
Let the wind play with is hair
So he could understand the fun
Death take me, please
And give my brother a life.
So he could see the Christmas Eve's
The magic in the air
To know the love.
Death take me, please
And give my brother a life.
Give him my happiness,
My fate and love
Give him another change.
His brother had been saved, but Adam always remembered the fear and that's why he had been too overprotective his baby brother. And he bit his lip. He felt guilty, what if something had now happened to Joe? He was sure that Joe could take care of his problems, but he couldn't help but to feel like an older brother. Again. After all these years.
Like had predicted, he reached the house 1 AM on the Christmas day. Adam took Sport to the barn; his stale was still empty, like his family was waiting him home from the day's work. Buck, Cubb and Cochise nickered, like they were welcoming home their lost companion. He took care of Sport and took his saddlebag; he kept his entire life there. Everything he owned, and at the moment, some presents.
The house was dark, but nothing had changed, his father's desk was still under the window, his favorite blue chair next to the fireplace. Everything was the same; even the Christmas tree was at the same place it had been since they moved there, by the stairs, and the presents under it. The changes he had feared hadn't happened and that gave him some comfort. With the peace of mind and heart lied down on the settee and fell asleep.
Little Joe woke up 5.30 am on the Christmas day, he flicked open his eyes and he smiled brightly, with few moments he was in Hoss' room and he jumped on his brothers bed.
"Hey, wake up its Christmas morning!"
Hoss woke up from his sleep with a start, "Dadburnit, Joe, what are you, five?"
"No, but Hoss it's Christmas morning, there are presents, big brother."
"Why, every year, the one day, you could sleep as long as you like, you ruin it for me?"
"It's Christmas, it's the tradition."
"Dogdarnit, little brother," and wanted to pull the cover over his head, but Joe was quick enough to crab it before he could do it and ran away with it.
"You!!!" said Hoss and tried to catch him, but Joe was a lot smaller and quicker, while Hoss, with incredible strength, but also with a bigger and clumsier body, was like a sleepy bear trying to catch a young fox. Joe laughed, while Hoss got grumpier and grumpier.
"What's going on in here?" came their father's booming voice from the doorway.
"It's Christmas, Pa, presents."
"Alright, Hoss, stop playing, let's go and see these presents, after that we can maybe do something useful," Hoss grunted but followed his Pa and Joe. When they reached the landing of the stairs, chatting, Joe first and then all three of them froze. They saw a man in black sleeping on the settee.
Adam woke when someone yelled his name and his lap was suddenly full with his baby brother, "Hello, big brother, you're back, you're staying, right? Hoss! Pa! It's Adam!" Adam had to smile; one thing that in Ponderosa never changes was his little brother.
"Yeah, little buddy, I'm staying." Then he felt Hoss' and his Pa's hands on his shoulders.
"Welcome home, Son."
"It's good to be home, Pa, and Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas indeed," Hoss smiled.
A/N: I apologize to them who hoped that my next story will be the one parter I promised to mjels, it will be up soon, that I can promise. But this is one story I needed to get out of my head. When I finish the CSI: NY fanfic what I write about know, I think I write some more Bonanza fanfiction. So review please and tell me what you think.