DAVID JENNINGS
MATT HAWN
PING HSUN WU
David the Robot
A Short Story by: David Jennings
"Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!" shouted the warrior as he casted his spell upon the mighty orc. The orc retreated in a furious rage, and then let out a fierce war cry.
"AHH, DAVID YOU NUBTARD! YOU THREW ROCKS IN MY F***** EYES," shouted the orc as he ran away crying.
"I am not David, I am Sir Galganaut of Scotland, slayer of the almighty Ragnorous, conqueror of the Blackwing Lair," David's voice cracked as he explained his LARPing background story. He was known for coming up with detailed fantasy lore about his various LARPing characters. Since David was completely distracted by how truly badass he felt, so he didn't notice the fact that he was being ambushed by over ten orcs.
"FOR THE HORDE!" cried the orcs.
David quickly ran into the forest to escape. I have to find a mage, he thought. He soon came to a sudden stop when he came across something that was uber badass. It was a robot suit, complete with laser guns and a totally awesome purple paint job. If I larp in this, I could totally pwn those orcs, David thought as he climbed in the suit.
As soon David got inside he felt an overwhelming sensation of hatred and fear. His entire soul was sinking into a deep empty abyss of misery and pain.
"zOMG!! You can't LARP as a robot, that's super imba OP!" complained one of the orcs.
A voice from inside the robot screeched, "Kill, David, Kill everyone! Death! Murder! Rape and drink the blood of the innocent!" Soon David was lawling uncontrollably.
At that moment David grabbed one of the orcs and ripped its limbs off. He then used one the limbs to bludgeon another one to death. As the twelve year old children dressed up as orcs started to run away, David jumped twenty feet in the air and intercepted them. He grabbed one of their skulls squeezed it until in exploded. Then, as if it were an old western movie, he continued to shoot down the twelve year olds with his laser guns.
The battle began to get the attention of the other LARPers. People gathered around to watch the well rehearsed and impressive LARP battle.
David continued massacring the children. Then, as David was about the finish off the last orc, he saw something that truly melted his heart. One of the orcs, whos legs had been ripped off, was holding the decapitated head of his orc buddy.
"HE'S DEAD!!!" cried to boy in a hysterical state. "HES DEAD!!! OH SWEET JESUS, WHY!? HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND."
David slowly walked over to a nearby lake. He stared at the reflection intensely. Tears flowed down his robotic face. What have I become, he thought to himself. Then, all of a sudden David ripped open his chest, and pulled out his heart. For a moment he held out his half organic, half robotic heart and stared at it. Then, as quickly as he mutilated the small children, he bit his heart in half. David immediately dropped to his knees and then landed face first on the cold ground.
The LARPers started to cheer, for they had never seen such an epic LARP battle. As the cheering slowly stopped and spirits faded, the area soon became a crime scene.