Title is Black Veil Brides song "Rebel Love Song." [First posted as Have Faith In Me.]

It had been two weeks since Rae broke up with Finn. Two weeks since the return of Grumpy Sod Finn from his heart being ripped out of his chest by the only girl who meant something to him.

What else could he do besides try and immerse himself into college, football, and the gang? So he did just that. Except it wasn't the same. He missed seeing Rae's face at college, he missed holding her hand. Sure, he'd only gotten to do it once before she disappeared and avoided him, but he was so proud to have the greatest girl on his arm. He missed hearing her shout random things at him during his football matches. He'd noticed himself looking over to the sidelines where she'd stood before, cheering him on. But she wasn't there.

He'd even been benched by the coach. It was right after they'd broken up and Finn's was doing poorly. He'd gotten close to the goal, in perfect position to score when her voice echoed in his head: "You can score a goal!" He had stopped dead in the field, the other team easily stealing the ball and later winning the match. He'd worked hard since then to prove to his coach that he deserved to be on the field. It was one of the few distractions he had.

He tried to act normal at college. He messed around with Izzy, Chloe, and Chop (who would usually stay for a bit before he left) but Archie wasn't really around anymore. He'd been banished when Chop and Finn found out he'd laughed at Simmy making fun of Rae. Since then, Archie had apologized multiple times but when they weren't having any of it, he'd left them alone. He still hung with Simmy and the other tossers but he never saw him smile. Served him right.

As much as he tried to hate Rae, he couldn't do it. He kept replaying their few weeks in his head trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. Should he not have put together the caravan when they'd gone camping? Was he pushing her too far? He just wanted answers.

But maybe she'd moved on. His heart broke the first time he saw her hanging out with some bloke named Liam. He watched from across the canteen as they'd laugh and walk away together. He never saw them alone; if he did see Rae, Liam would be right next to her. Maybe he was the reason they broke up. She fancied Liam instead.

That same night he'd delved into the hard liquor and got himself pass-out drunk on vodka. His father found him sleeping on the bathroom floor the next morning when he'd come home from work. His father didn't say anything; he helped him up from the floor and walked him to his bed. Finn groaned as he lay down, his face too numb to feel the tears running down his face. His father sat beside him, gently rubbing his back until he fell asleep.

"It's going to be all right, my boy. Everything's going to be fine," he had said to him.

When Finn woke up the next day, his head was pounding. He downed the paracetamol and glass of water his father left beside him on his night table and vigorously brushed his teeth, trying to rid his mouth of sick and vodka. He made his way downstairs, stopping in the kitchen to grab a can from the six-pack of Fosters, and then making his way out the door with his sunglasses and keys to the scooter.

He needed someone to talk to. He spent the next twenty minutes riding his scooter to the edge of town. His breath caught as he made his way through the wrought iron gates, just as it did every time. He rode for another two minutes before he stopped. He grabbed the Fosters from the back and made his way through the grass to his Nan's headstone.

"Hiya, Nan," he said as he sat down at the foot of the grave, popping open the first can.

His fingers drummed along the side of the can as his mind whirled.

"I fucking miss you. It's been months but I still can't believe you're not here anymore. I wish I could've helped you. You were too young. People shouldn't be dying at 68."

He took a few big swallows. "Cancer shouldn't exist. I fucking hate it. I didn't have you for long enough. I want you back!" he said as his voice grew hoarse.

"I lost her. Do you remember Rae? I told you about her. The girl with long, dark hair, amazing taste in music, addictive laugh… She's so fucking perfect. The same girl that you told me I was in love with. I didn't believe you, of course. No matter how many times you said it, I didn't believe it. Not until I saw her kiss Archie at the rave." He laughed bitterly.

"I knew then. Before I just thought I fancied her. But it hurt too much when I saw them. That's when I knew. So I fucking – sorry, nan – I kissed Chloe. I hoped she saw so that she would feel what I did. Never saw her for the rest of the night. Not until her mum's reception where she told us that she was in a mental ward and she'd tried to hurt herself. Jesus, how many times can your heart break, nan? I just wanted to steal her away and never let her get hurt again. I told her that I liked her that night. I wrote it on her back, our secret way of communication." He was smiling.

"I should have told her I loved her… Kissing her feels right. Holding her, touching her, just being around her… it all feels right. She's what I was missing. I was happy, nan. She felt right. But she broke up with me." He choked, tears began making their way down his cheeks but he didn't bother wiping them away.

He sniffled and bowed his head, trying to calm himself down. He pulled his knees up and crossed his arms, burying his face in the darkness.

"Am I ever going to be good enough? Why doesn't anyone want me?"

But he couldn't hold it in. The sobs burst through and his body shook.

"Why doesn't anyone want me?" he repeated.

He lifted his head and rubbed his face in attempt to clear away the tears. He sniffled harshly and stared at her headstone.

"I love you, nan. I miss you so fucking much."

He stood and grabbed the can, looking around the cemetery. He saw another figure sitting beside a headstone, their head resting on the stone. His heart lurched in his chest.

"What?" he whispered to himself. Who would she be visiting?

He unknowingly began to make his way towards her; it was as if his feet were controlling him instead of the other way around. He proceeded slowly, not wanting to startle her.

"-fucked up, Tix. I made a big mistake. I fucking ruin everything," he heard her say. "I thought I was better. I thought that I could be with him but I couldn't. I'm a mess, Fatty. I should have tried harder to end it. I should have taken the pills instead of stepping out in front of the car. Then I could be there with you and not be hurting people anymore."

"Rae?" he said quietly.

She gasped and looked up to see Finn with a horrified expression on his face.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Nan…" he said, weakly motioning behind him. "Rae, what do you mean by taking the pills?"

Rae shook her head, unable to look him in the eyes. "Nothing," she said.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Rachel," he said angrily.

"It's none of your business, Finn," she yelled.

"No! You don't get to be angry with me. You broke up with me," he shouted.

"This has nothing to do with you. Just leave me alone."

"No!" he shouted again. "I want answers! What did I do?"

"Nothing, Finn. You did nothing wrong. You were fucking perfect," she was now speaking softly.

"Then why?"

"Can we not do this here, Finn?" she gestured around them as the stood.

"Fine," he said as he turned away. "Get your arse on the scooter."

Rae didn't move.

"Now."

Finn was already on the scooter, holding out the spare helmet for Rae when she got to him.

"Put this on," he said as she took it and strapped it on.

She hesitated a moment before swinging her leg over and wrapping her arms around Finn. They both flinched at the contact before he started the scooter and rode out of the cemetery.

They were both silent for the ride. Albeit, a conversation was not the easiest speaking whilst wearing helmets and having the wind carry your voice away. Finn pulled into his drive and turned off the scooter.

"I'll be up in a few minutes," he said to Rae, motioning for her to go up to his room.

Whilst she slowly made her way upstairs, he walked into the kitchen and readied the kettle.

When he woke up this morning with a hangover, he didn't imagine that he'd be bringing Rae back to his house. He wasn't expecting to see or talk to her at all. But now she's upstairs. And this wasn't so they could make out or listen to music but so he could get the answers he so desperately needed from her. He jumped at the sound of the kettle whistling. He carefully walked upstairs with two fresh cuppas, handing one to Rae who stood uncomfortably in the middle of his room.

"Sit down," he said softly, motioning with his head to the chair at the foot of his bed.

He stared into his mug and took a deep breath, himself sat on his bed.

"When I was seven my mum left us, as you know. But I didn't tell you why. Dad dropped me off at school on a Wednesday morning and everything was normal. Mum usually picked me up, but she wasn't there; my nan was. She acted as though everything was fine. When we got home, she came inside with me where I saw dad crying on the sofa. When I asked him what was wrong he said that mum left us. I asked him when she was coming back. He said she wasn't. She left when he drove me to school.

"When I was ten I found a letter from my mom addressed to me dated the day before she left. It was inside one of my records. She told me why she did it, why she left. She said she wasn't happy; that she didn't want us anymore. I didn't understand; what I'd done to make her hate us so much that she'd leave. I didn't understand why I wasn't good enough? Was I not a good son? What did I do wrong? I had no answers for that. My nan that died is actually my mum's mum. She then took over as my mum. She was there for me and dad even though she also lost her daughter. She was diagnosed with cancer when I was 14.

"Dad was lost without mum, but he tried hard to make up for it. He was my best friend. He taught me football and he introduced me to music. He's still sad about my mum leaving but he's worked hard to get past it. But he's gone a lot for work. Week-long conferences out of town. The house is empty a lot. It's just me.

"I'm not anything special. I have nothing to offer, really. I know that, but I just need to know what I did that made you break up with me. Because I can't keep going not knowing why people leave me. Why am I not good enough for somebody? What does that Liam bloke have that I don't?"

His hands were shaking as he brought his tea to his lips and tried to take a sip. Rae stood up from the chair, set her own tea down by his record player and sat next to him on his bed.

"Liam is just a friend. He's someone who understands what I'm going through, what is going on in my head."

"How could I help? What can I do to make you better?"

"You can't; he can't. It's all me. Finn, I didn't break up with you because of anything you did. I convinced myself that I was better, that I wasn't ill anymore. But I'm not. And I was embarrassed for you; for you to be seen with me. They would bully you. Everyone looked at us like they couldn't believe it would ever happen. That Finn Nelson would ever be with a fat girl. I didn't understand either. I don't know why you would want to be with me. I can't even be naked in front of myself, let alone someone else. You deserve someone who has it all. Someone who's beautiful, who isn't mad… You deserve the best and that's not me."

"But, Rae, you're so fucking amazing. You're so beautiful. You're perfect. I don't care that you were in a mental home – I mean, I care, but not like it's going to stop me from wanting you. Everybody's got stuff, Rae. I don't want you to be naked in front of me if that's what you're comfortable with. I just want you."

Rae wiped away a tear from her cheek. "I am trying to get better, Finn. I just have so many problems."

"Rae, I don't care what other people think about us being together. I don't care what people will say about me. What I do care about is you and being with you. I'm fucking lost without you. I miss having you around, being able to touch you and kiss you," he said as he grabbed her hand.

"I don't understand why you'd want to be with me. I just can't comprehend it. You're more than enough, Finn. You are perfect, it wouldn't work between us." She tried to pull her hand away but he held on tight.

"I want to be with you because I fucking love you, Rae," he said.

Tears started to run down her face as she shook her head and pulled her hand harder.

"No, you don't. You don't love me," she cried.

"Why are you so intent on telling me who I can and can't fancy, Rae? I just fucking told you that I loved you – which I've never told anyone before – and you're throwing it in my face by telling me that I don't. Why can't you just accept that someone loves you for who you are?"

"Because you're wrong," she shouted, still working to pull her hand away.

"Stop moving! Rae, just stop!"

She stopped pulling and stared at him with wide eyes, tears still escaping. He stood up from the bed so he was eye-level with her.

"You are the most amazing person I've ever met. You might think that you don't deserve to be happy but you don't understand that before we were together I thought that no one would ever love me, that there was no one out there for me. I don't care how slow we have to move. Sex can wait. I don't care what people will say because they will not break us. I fucking love you, Rae. That is not going to change. I will be there for you through everything but you have to be there for us, too," he said.

He'd loosened his hold on her hand and was rubbing his thumb along the top.

Rae sniffed and wiped her eyes with the other hand before looking back to him.

"It's not going to be ea-"

Rae didn't get to finish due to Finn pulling her by the back of the neck and crushing his lips to hers. He pulled away enough to speak, their lips still touching.

"I missed you," he said. "Everything's going to be okay, Rae. We'll be fine."

"I love you, too," Rae murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him to her again. They had lost time to make up for.