Title: My Heart Cries for you
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger
Rating: T (same as the show)
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and has to rely on his family for support.
Notes: I don't usually write angsty stuff but my friend Jen might have given me a little idea and my muse totally ran with it. This is about twenty parts (I'm not done polishing the last few) and as always I'll post daily. Ziva will be in this fic it's gonna be Tony/Ziva fic, and so will Bishop if you're not cool with that this may not be the fic for you. This has a fairly heavy theme to it but still has a lot of sweet moments cause at the end of the day I still like fuzzy happy things when I write fic. I hope you'll enjoy it! Other than the prologue and epilogue the chapters on this are gonna be shorter than I usually write so heads up on that. The title as always comes from a song I like (I personally am a fan of Serena Ryder's cover of it).

Anthony DiNozzo Junior was in the Director's office, and his boss Leroy Jethro Gibbs came in, surprised that he had been called into a meeting. He wasn't sure what to expect, but DiNozzo calling a meeting had no precedent, but his gut was telling him it wasn't going to be good news. Leon Vance also wasn't sure what was going to happen as a result of the meeting, but he too was worried this was going to end in bad news.

"What's this about?" asked Vance wanting to get back to work.

"There's no point in beating around the bush, I've been diagnosed with leukemia," DiNozzo told them neither man knew what to say. "They caught it early, so my chances are good, but the docs don't want me working, and they'll likely want inpatient treatment, ending, ideally with a bone marrow transplant."

"All right," Vance said not sure what else to say. "Your job will be waiting for you."

"Thank you."

"Are you going to tell everyone else?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah," DiNozzo replied. "No point in keeping this from them."

They left the office shortly and went toward the elevator, at first Gibbs thought they were going down to tell Abby first, but instead DiNozzo stopped the machine. DiNozzo took a deep breath, having told his bosses had made everything a lot more real. He knew his odds, and was trying to be positive about everything but he knew he had a long road ahead of him.

"Boss, I'm scared," he admitted.

"You wouldn't be human if you weren't," Gibbs told him.

"This is what killed my mother."

"Cancer treatment has come a long way since then DiNozzo."

"I know it has. I don't know how I'm going to tell my dad."

"You'll find the words, and if you can't do it I can."

"Thank you, Boss."

They restarted the elevator, and went down to Abby's lab, McGee was down there as well. They both looked up to see them Abby was a little confused as to why they were both down there. It wasn't often that Gibbs would go to her office when there wasn't a case, and usually if DiNozzo was coming to see her he'd bring he breakfast or a CafPow to start her day. There was something about them showing up together that she found unnerving.

"Is there a body?" McGee asked. "I didn't see Bishop come in yet."

"It's not that," Gibbs told them.

"Is it about that meeting?" Abby asked.

DiNozzo nodded. "Yeah, I had to tell him I need to take a few months off work.'

"What? Why? A few months?" asked Abby. "Where are you going? I don't want you to go! Even if you are going to bring Ziva home, I'll miss you too much."

"I wish it was that Abs." He hugged her.

"You're scaring me Tony, what's going on?"

"I was diagnosed with leukemia."

"What? No, that can't be right, no."

"I'm sorry but it's the truth. The doctors want to start treatment as soon as possible."

There were tears in her eyes. "You gotta beat this. How can I help?"

"The odds are good, but the docs want to find me a bone marrow match."

"Okay, okay there's gotta be someone, I'll personally swab everyone in the whole Navy Yard if I have to!"

"You did get all of NCIS swabbed a few years ago, so maybe my match is already there."

"I hope so, has your father been swabbed?"

"I don't think so Abs."

"After you tell him I'll make sure he does."

"Thank you." He kissed her cheek softly. "Don't cry Abs."

"I'm scared Tony, you're like another brother to me."

"I've beat a lot worse than this."

She nodded. "I know, the universe wouldn't steal you away from me."

The four of them stayed in the lab for a little while more. Bishop came into the lab surprised to find everyone in there. She wondered if she had missed something. She wasn't very late, and she was sure she had told Gibbs she might be. Even though she had been a part of the team for nearly a year there were times where she felt like she was still learning where she fit in.

"Sorry, wait not sorry, right, I forget - Boss, I didn't mean to be late" she explained. "I had an appointment, I thought I told you. Why's everyone down here?"

"You told me about it, it's fine," Gibbs assured her. "DiNozzo had something to tell us."

"What kind of something?"

"I'm gonna need a few months off," he sighed softly hating to have to say it again but he wasn't able to wait to tell them. "I was diagnosed with leukemia."

"Oh my god Tony, I'm so- I don't even know there should be a word in the English language for this. Is it inappropriate to hug you?"

"No, of course not," he assured her.

She hugged him tightly. "If I can do anything to help just ask, this is so unreal. You have to be okay."

"I'm a DiNozzo we don't take things lying down, I'm gonna fight like hell, and you'll have to hear my movie references, which you never get, before you know it."

She smiled. "All right, when are you leaving?"

"My treatment starts next week and they want me as an inpatient."

"It's gonna be so quiet around here."

"If there was another way I'd do it, but I've gotta listen to the docs on this one."

He knew there were more people he needed to tell, and he knew that he'd find the words, but he wasn't sure how he would tell his father. He knew that his mother had died from leukemia when he was young but he didn't know much else about it. He wanted to be the one who told senior but he was terrified what long buried memories telling him might bring up for his father. They never spoke about his mother, he hardly remembered her other than memories of her telling him bedtime stories. He remembered how everything changed after her funeral.

He knew that there were pictures of his mother at his father's place, but they were hard to find. He had found a couple which he cherished. After they'd lost his mother everything had changed neither of them ever talked about her or what had happened. He wanted to know about his mother, but he was afraid to ask his father about her for a long time, and then so much time had passed he was sure it would just bring up bad memories for him. Now he was regretting not asking the questions sooner because he was sure that with him being sick too it would be harder for his father to talk about her.

DiNozzo still remembered the stream of step mothers who had come in and out of the house. He wondered if the reason none of his father's other marriages had worked out because there as a part of Senior who still and always would love his mother. He wanted that to be the case, but sometimes he was afraid to think about it. As many mistake as his father had made he still loved him, and wanted him to support him through this. There was so much going on in his brain that he hadn't thought about in a very long time.

He remembered that his mother had told him bedtime stories she'd made up for him, and wished he could remember even one. He also remembered how his mother would let him take baths whenever he wanted, he liked playing in the bubbles with his army men, but his father always told him that men took showers, and that he was a man now. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about all of this, they were all such old memories but they were all coming flooding back.

He remembered about how when his mother had been a alive he'd been a cub scout, and he'd loved it but after she was gone Senior wanted him to focus on his sports, which he'd always been good at but never really liked. He loved his father but there were times he questioned his choices, and this was one of them. After his mother had died he didn't get to go to as many of his friends' birthday parties, and his own birthday parties just weren't the same anymore. He was glad that he had found a surrogate family of sorts at NCIS but there was a part of him that still wished he had found that sooner.

He was scared that his father wouldn't visit him once he was in the hospital. There had been other times where he'd been hurt, or worse, that his father hadn't even bothered to visit him while it happened. He wanted to have a relationship with his father but he sometimes made it so difficult. Especially when his father seemed to ignore him at the times which mattered the most. He knew that everyone from the team would visit him as often as they could, but the two people he most wanted to see he wasn't sure he would have the chance to. He knew he was ready to fight but it didn't change how he felt. For the first time in a long time he was truly afraid and hoped he would have the support to keep fighting even when things seemed bleak.

End Epilogue

Notes: Well that was that it's gonna be a few parts before Ziva is in it but it'll be worth the wait. This is very different from what I normally write so support would be fab. Can't believe I have it up already it kinda wrote itself hehe… enjoy! Lemme know what 'ya think.