"So what?"
That was the first thing I ever heard pass through her lips. The context has been long forgotten as is who it was directed to. The words were like honey to my ears as my eyes never left her face. She wasn't looking at me and when she finally did, I had the distinct impression that it was the first time she'd ever seen me, despite what she'd claimed in the past. Her eyebrows lifted in surprise and she just stared at me for a moment before returning to the conversation. She looked utterly bewildered and I myself felt completely embarrassed and unworthy. It was obvious that the site of me had shaken her, why? I had no idea. All I knew was that from the moment I saw her, I knew her. Everything seemed so inconceivably obvious to me. To everyone else she was hard and cold, showing no mercy towards her fellow man, but in my eyes she was so innocently vulnerable. Never had I seen such a serene and content face at work. The only time she ever seemed the least bit satisfied was in training.
The second time we met, we were alone and only then did I understand why she was so shaken at the site of me. I had the report for a lower ranking officer in my hands and my destination just happened to be her desk. The delivery could have been anyone's responsibility, but for some reason it just happened to be mine. But, it wasn't fate. It wasn't coincidence. She had specifically asked for a hand delivery by someone on duty at that particular moment and there weren't many available, and I was the only one willing to do anything to move up from my rank. She knew I would have volunteered immediately. She had done her research on me. Watching me during training, studying my profile... even giving me benefits. I didn't realize any of it at the time. I didn't think anything of it. I worked the hardest out of everyone in my division and assumed that served as a probable cause.
I walked into her office, looked left and right with my distant, professional expression, and continued to walk towards her desk. I was confronted immediately. She appeared out of the corner of my eye and I turned my head quickly to find her cold eyes staring me down from a foot away. I stepped back immediately, bowing with a prominent blush on my face, but I was determined to remain expressionless.
"Yoruichi-sama." I said, quietly, holding the large stack of papers towards her. "My apologies, I didn't realize you were there. I was ordered to-"
"I understand." her voice was suddenly warm. My eyes widened at the instantaneous change in her demeanor. "Just remember to knock next time." I held my breath as she slipped the papers out of my hands.
"Please stand." I stood as straight as a rod, careful not to look her in the eye.
"Soifon." She turned her head to the side. "Is that correct?"
"Yes, Yoruichi-sama."
"Please look at me when I speak." I did so immediately. She seemed disappointed. "What do I seem to you?" It was a threatening question, considering my position and rendered me speechless. My lips parted and just stood there staring in silence a question I dare not voice, forming on my lips.
She must have seen something flicker in my gaze and she smiled sweetly. "The last time I met you, I noticed something. You looked at me differently, than my other subordinates do. You watched me with criticism instead of awe, love instead of submission. I'd like to know what's going on behind those silver eyes." As she spoke, she began to move towards me slowly; her face just inches away from mine. I swallowed and decided that answering truthfully could either make or break the situation, whichever the positive one may be.
"My deepest apologies... but..."
"But, what?"
"Could I have... clarification?" I cursed silently when I heard the uncertainty in my voice.
"Who do you see me as? You don't see me as your commander. The way you look at me, it almost seems..." She didn't finish and I didn't dare ask her to go on.
"Your not who you... seem to be." My gaze changed from uncertain and naive to a cautious skepticism. Her eyebrows raised and her face gave way to conviction.
"Oh really?" Her condescending tone did not encourage me any more but made me a little eerie. Why confront me if you're just going to pass on my opinion? I did not answer her at first and once again began to avoid her unrelenting gaze. "Could I have clarification?" I almost grinned at the question. It wasn't mocking, but more a gentle and almost prudent attempt at humor. I believe she may have sensed my amusement and a smile began to play on her lips.
"You're not as cold and ruthless as you'd like... people to believe." She retreated with sudden interest.
"Are you calling me a liar?"
"No." I said immediately, a little louder than needed. My face contorted into a look of desperation. "You... I mean..."
She smiled widely waiting for me to finish.
I scowled briefly trying to find something to save myself. "It's a facade to protect yourself." her smile faltered. "You are always under scrutiny. Because of that you have had to create a thick shell."
"Do you think you've seen through it?" I could sense no air of superiority in her tone. It was an honest, simple, and almost desperate question.
"No." A thick silence hung in the air. I couldn't look up for fear of what I'd see. "But, I'd like to."
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Well, there you go. My first attempt. I'm scurred…
*hides under blanket
Forever safe!