Hello there! Long time no see. Remember the story School Reunion that I wrote last year with my friends Keri (hottemperedpixie) and Rhiannon (tomatoesonstrings)? Well, we've set ourselves another story to write alternate versions of. This WILL NOT be serious, it's just a laugh. It takes place at some point pre-Reichenbach but post-Great Game. Enjoy!
Dark clouds churned violently above the gloomy streets of London. It was a cold November night, and Sherlock Holmes was travelling in the back of a black cab. The streets hadn't been this quiet in a very long time. He studied the back of the taxi driver. She was female. Dyed red hair, grey at the roots. Woollen jumper, faded with time. Gold chain around her neck, most likely a locket containing pictures of her children. Two sons, both grown up now. There was a picture of them on the dashboard. Wedding ring, well cared for. Dull. Sherlock's phone buzzed with the familiar sound of a text message, interrupting the silence. He lazily opened it.
"Sherlock. Get home. Now. You won't believe this. JW"
The corner of Sherlock's mouth twitched upwards. Something was finally happening.
Ten minutes later the taxi drew to a halt outside number 221 Baker Street. Before Sherlock could even ascend the steps, John came hurtling through the door. Stammering and pointing inside, he managed to explain their predicament. Sort of.
"Sherlock…Went upstairs…Came down…Girls, Sherlock! In the flat! Sherlock…They're back!"
Sherlock raised his eyebrows at his flatmate and breezed past him into the hall. Leaping up the stairs to 221B, he threw open the door and looked around the flat. All seemed well… until a woman flung herself onto his back and started screaming "OHMYGOD SHERLOCK!" into his ear. Sherlock whipped around, his eyes wide. It was then that he noticed another woman lounging on the couch watching television, and another in the kitchen making tea. Simultaneously they turned to face him and said "Hey Sherlock" before going back to what they were doing. Sherlock looked at the three women, stunned, before he shouted-
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY FLAT?"
"Now now Sherlock, we've told you about keeping that temper in check haven't we!" The woman in the kitchen called, walking towards him with a mug of tea. She gestured for him to sit down next to the woman on the sofa. John stood in the doorway with the shortest woman, who was still grinning at Sherlock like an idiot. Sherlock sat on the sofa in a state of near shock. When the woman next to him changed the television onto Jeremy Kyle, he knew it was time to do something.
"Why are you in my house? I thought I'd seen the last of you three!" He growled. The woman next to him switched off the TV.
"What, aren't you happy to see us?" She said, smiling innocently.
"It's been over a year, aren't we allowed to come and see one of our oldest school friends? Literally, you're going grey." The tea-maker added.
"We've missed you!" Chirped the woman in the doorway. Sherlock looked at the women, then at John (who just shrugged). He sighed.
"Keri, Megan, Rhiannon… Leave. And shut the kitchen window after them John, seeing as that's obviously how they got in."
"Hey Sherlock, don't be mean, they can stay for a little while. It's my flat too, remember!" John said kindly, smiling at the girls and walking to the couch to join his flatmate.
"Brilliant! I'll just get our stuff." Grinned Keri, before leaping up from the sofa and swinging herself out of the kitchen window. Rhiannon shuffled from the door and took Keri's seat, continuously edging closer to Sherlock.
"So why are you really here?" He asked.
"What, haven't figured that out yet?" Megan teased.
"Well, you have no luggage so I can't go by that, however both of you are hiding your hands inside your sleeves, indicating cold hands so I'd say you've walked a long way. Judging by the state of you, you haven't been home for a long time to wash properly. You also entered through the window, could just be trying to show off, but unlikely. You might not have thought you'd get in, but you know that John is a pushover so he'd let you in anyway. Which means that you wanted to try and enter inconspicuously. I'd say you're on the run from that gang again, and Keri is retrieving your bags from inside our wheelie bin. However, Keri, why did you feel the need to climb back in through the window?" He said without looking, as Keri had knocked a mug onto the floor upon re-entry.
"Doors are too mainstream." She shrugged, pushing her dark hair behind her ear. She strode over to the couch where the inhabitants of 221B and their guests were seated, dropping three Sainsbury's carrier bags of clothes and toiletries on the table as she passed.
"How did I do?" Enquired Sherlock.
"Not bad," smiled Rhiannon, in awe as ever. "We've on the move for a few weeks. We left the flat in Cardiff around three months ago, after we heard through the grapevine that Swift's gang had been targeting a friend of ours. We were on our way to see her actually, but we thought we'd stop here and see your lovely faces first… and use the shower." Sherlock sighed.
"You know where it is." Rhiannon immediately raced up the stairs, as everyone else rolled their eyes.
A few hours later, after all the girls had showered and eaten a hot meal (Chinese takeaway, courtesy of John), they converged once again in the living room.
"So, what have you been up to since we last saw you then?" Megan asked. Sherlock began to make a snarky remark but John interrupted him.
"Oh, just the usual. A few cases here and there, but nothing too taxing for him." John tried to sound disinterested, but he had a smile playing at the edges of his lips. "What about you girls, still conning?"
"Nah, we packed that in months ago. We had to bail Rhiannon out one time too many, she kept feeling sorry for stealing people's stuff." Keri replied scathingly. "But yeah, we've just been living in a house in Norwich. Until we had to leave. Shame really, nice house that."
"So who's this friend you're meeting?"
"Oh, her name's Lilly. Used to be the best con-woman in the business, until she got into a spot of bother"
"Bother?"
"She's up the duff."
"Ah."
"Yeah. She kept it hidden for ages, didn't want to stop work. But when she got stuck half way through a window, she knew it was time to draw the line!" laughed Megan.
"Lilly Newman." Muttered Sherlock from an armchair.
"Yeah, Lilly- Wait, how do you know about Lilly?" asked Megan incredulously.
"Lilly and Tom Newman, notorious married conmen. Nicknamed the Ninjas, because of their ability to seemingly appear and disappear at will. Married for two years. Caused Greg a lot of trouble a year back. You'd be hard pressed to find someone at Scotland Yard who hasn't heard of the Newmans." The girls smiled.
"Yep, that's Lilly. We were at her and Tom's wedding. We were going to be bridesmaids, but Keri refused to wear the dress." Said Rhiannon pointedly.
"What, it was pink!" protested Keri, to a resounding sigh from the others. "Anyway, I bagsie the sofa for tonight."
"You are not staying over." Protested Sherlock.
"Yes we are."
"Get out."
"Sherlock, please, they're your friends," Sherlock made a pah! noise at 'friends' but John continued nonetheless. "Let them stay. Just for a night."
"As long as it is only a night." Grumbled Sherlock.
"Great! Now off the sofa, I need my beauty sleep you know!" Keri grinned.
The next morning the girls re-gathered their few belongings (now clean and freshly ironed, courtesy of Mrs Hudson) and bid John and Sherlock goodbye.
"We promise we won't leave it as long to see you next time!" squeaked Rhiannon, throwing her arms around Sherlock's neck.
"Yeah, that shower is awesome!" chimed in Megan. After lots of hugging on Rhiannon's part and lots of complaining on Sherlock's, the girls departed in a taxi.
Sherlock sat on the sofa in the living room. Hopefully they wouldn't see the girls for a long time again. They were annoying, Sherlock thought. Annoying and loud, and messy, and they moved my stuff without asking. They were inconsiderate and bossy and from my past and I don't like things from my past and-
Bzzzt bzzzzt.
"Hello?"
"HEY SHERLOCK"
"Rhiannon, I thought you were at Lilly and Tom's house."
"Yeah, we are."
"And…"
"There's a problem."
"They're not there, are they."
"Nope. The whole place has been torched. I think you'd better come over."
Click.
Sherlock placed his phone back in his pocket. Then, rising from his seat, he grabbed his scarf from the back of a chair.
"John, get your coat. We have a case!"