Five weeks ago, they have finally done it. They killed Red John. Actually, Jane killed him seconds before he could hurt Lisbon. He shot him. Right to his head. Within a second, the man that ruined his life, ruined lots of lives was gone. Jane hoped, that after this, after finally catching and getting rid of him, he would feel better. He hoped he would feel some satisfaction, freedom without fear of what´s gonna come, but no.
Instead he felt lost.
He felt alone.
Desperate.

The thing is he was devoting nearly seven years of his life in catching him. For nearly 2555 days he got reason to breathe, to live, to go on after what happened to him. He spent his days, hours and minutes in pursuit of this sick psychopath and finally got him.
And what now?
What to do now?
During those days, the pursuit provided much needed mental stimulation for him. He did not think about other stuff much, except other cases. But his brain power was focused on the hunt. And the hunt ended. The guilt did not. Nor did the anger, sadness, emptiness...the coldness. Those were still there, maybe in even larger numbers. He got up every single morning after sleepless night, dressed up and got to work. They still needed to catch all of his remaining followers. Lisbon and the team had a lot of work to do. They spent their days in work, finishing everything up, cleaning the mess they made. They talked to press, all of the media were frantic to get the story of how they caught him.
He couldn´t care less.
All he could see was the red face above his own bed in the Malibu house. His mind, not knowing what to do, came up with questions that needed answers.
But he didn´t have them.
Was Charlotte awake when he got to them? Have she felt the fear, pain, saw and understood what was happening?
And Angela?
What was she thinking?
Was she blaming him, cursing him before she passed away?
Did she witnessed what he did to their daughter?
He felt sick to his stomach just by thinking about it.
Still in his motel room, he ran to the bathroom and threw up. After cleaning himself up he went to work.

Lisbon was in her office, watching the others colleagues working in the bullpen. So much to do. She felt happy that Red John was gone, all of them were glad of that. But there was still a lot to do.
She was going through old case files, looking for any names that could be connected to Red John. Anybody who worked on those cases, might be one of his moles, cleaning after him. They caught some of them, but they were totally brainwashed. A very few of them gave some valuable information. The others stayed loyal to the man even after his passing.
And she was worrying about Jane. He looked sickeningly happy in work, cheerful, but only to those who did not know him the way she did. She was watching him a lot and did not like what she saw. When he thought nobody was watching, his cheerful mask slipped and she could see his real expression.
He looked desperate.

Well, he hasn´t got the time to proper mourn for his family. After coming back from the mental institute he went right to work, devoting himself to revenge. Revenge was served and yet...she just needed to look out for him. The day at work was exhausting but both Lisbon and Jane managed to go through it. They made some interviews with promising suspects, then there was press conference which Jane skipped, obviously. She asked him to grab quick lunch together so they went. He was awfully cheerful the whole time but she knew it was an act. They really need to talk. But then her phone rang again and she saw that he was relieved when she excused herself because of another meeting. When the meeting finally come to an end it was almost eight o´clock.
Lisbon went to her office to find Jane lying on her couch, sleeping. She smiled at him and went to her computer to finish one of many reports thats needed finishing. She will wake up Jane later, he needs some as it turned out, something else was about to wake him.
Lisbon was still typing into her computer when she heard some noises from the couch. It did not bother her until the screams started.
Startled she looked at Jane, and saw him trashing on the couch, screaming, his eyes moving under eyelids.
"Jane! Wake up!"
She went right to him, wanted to wake him so badly. He never had nightmare in work. Not once. She grabbed his shoulders, tried to shake him, and when that didn´t help she slapped him. He opened his eyes, sat up wildly. He tried to breath, she could see that, but only managed to gasp, opening his mouth like a fish out of water. Lisbon grabbed his head and made him to put it in the middle of his knees.
"Breath, Patrick, just in and out, in and out...keep breathing, I am right here, just breathe."
He groaned a little, but his breathing was becoming normal again. But he was still shaking.
"Its okay, just keep calm. "
Lisbon really did not have any idea what to do in situation like this, so she stick with rubbing smoothing circles on his back a whispering in calm soothing voice.
He felt awful, this particular nightmare was one of the worst he got in ages.
He tried every biofeedback trick he knew for getting his breathing under control but it was proven no help. Lisbon´s voice and touch on the other hand seemed to help a lot. She was still whispering to him in that voice of hers, when you really don´t need to understand the words and yet it doesn´t matter. She was helping him, again. After a while he managed to speak to her.
" Hi Lisbon ."
"Hi yourself, you okay?"
He contemplated that question. And the answer was a big fat NO. It must have been written on his face still hidden in the middle of his knees, because she sighed.
"Come on, lets get you to bed."
He sat up.
"No!"
She looked confused.
"I mean, I don´t really have desire to sleep right now. I think I am done with sleeping, at least for this night. But you should go and have some rest, I know how hard you work and it must be need to rest and have a proper night sleep Lisbon, even if you prefer to work your nights away. "
He tried to smile at her.
It was lousy try. He looked terrible. Maybe this was his nightly routine. Oh sheepdip, who was she fooling, this was his nightly routine for sure.
" Cut the crap and stand up, you are coming with me. No way I am gonna let you sleep in that motel of yours or in the attic in this condition."
He wanted to argue. To tell her that he is okay, that it was just a nightmare, but he knew it was more than that. So he just nodded and stood up.
"Thank you, Lisbon."
" Anytime Jane. "
With that, they went home.