Aoi's Question
NOTE: Natsume, Mikan and the rest of the gang are now 15 years old. Aoi is 10.
Koko, Mochu and Yuu were sitting in one of Gakuen Alice's vast lawns, enjoying the bright, sunny Saturday.
"Koko?"
Koko felt someone tug his sleeve and looked down at Aoi Hyuuga. Thick, dark hair framed her beautiful face as she looked up at him with eyes that were exactly the same mesmerizing shade of crimson as her brother's.
"Hey Aoi!" he said, grinning cheerfully. He bent down and stage-whispered "Our Class President has a girlfriend"
Mochu, who was standing next to them, threw his hands up in the air dramatically and said "Oh lost innocence!"
Yuu's face turned an interesting shade of red as he muttered "Can't you drop it already?"
"But Yuu, you should have told us!"
"Hang on; I think I remember him mentioning her"
"Maybe once"
"Maybe twice"
"Maybe all day"
"Maybe all week"
"I didn't mention her, I thought about her! There's a difference!"
Both his friends instantantly burst into a horrific rendition Taylor Swift's 'Love Story'
"We were both young when I first saw youuuuu" screeched Koko, batting his eyelashes violently. A bee sitting on a nearby flower buzzed off angrily, complaining about declining neighborhoods and noise pollution.
"I closed my eyes and the flashback starts, I'm standing there. On a balcony somewhere…." sang Mochu, twirling around like a ballerina.
"See the long legs, the tiny skirts, the massive….."
Aoi blinked "Isn't it 'See the lights, the party, the ball gowns?'"
"Nah, that's what a girl sees. What a guy sees on the other hand…."
"Mochu! She's in elementary!"
Mochu snorted.
"…and she's Natsume Hyuuga's kid sister"
Mochu paled.
"So anyway, Aoi what's up?" said Koko, trying to lead the conversation to safer grounds. Yuu sighed in relief. At least they'd stopped teasing him. He took a sip from his can of cold drink….
"How are babies made?"
…and spat it all out, drenching the furious bee which buzzed back and bit him.
"OWWW!"
"Ahh…Aoi why don't you go ask Mikan? Look she's sitting under that tree with Ruka. We have to take Yuu to the hospital wing before the poison spreads"
"The poison?" asked Aoi, puzzled.
"Err…yes. See that bite? That's a dangerous species of ….um…Buzza Beesa. We have to run now, bye!"
Aoi stared at the three boys who were running away, confused. Wasn't the hospital wing in the other direction? She shrugged and walked over to the tree under which Mikan and Ruka were doing their homework.
"Hello Aoi" said Ruka while Mikan simply beamed.
"How's elementary? How's little Youichi? How's –"
"Let her breathe Mikan. Want to sit with us Aoi?"
Aoi nodded and kneeled on the grass beside them.
"Mikan?"
"Yes?"
"How are babies made?"
Mikan heard a noise behind her that was halfway between a choke and a gasp and turned around to see a red faced Ruka. "Are you alright, Ruka-pyon?"
"Perfect" he mumbled.
"Well Mikan?" asked Aoi.
"Babies come from storks!"
Ruka looked at Mikan in disbelief. She looked and sounded completely sincere.
"Idiots" said Hotaru, who was passing and had heard the entire conversation. She walked away.
"Wait, does that mean there's more to it than what Mikan said? I'll go ask Hotaru!" thought Aoi and ran after Alice Academy's resident genius.
"Nice save Mikan. I didn't know you could act that well" complimented Ruka.
Mikan looked up at him, frowning. "What do you mean? I told her the truth"
A few minutes later, Ruka Nogi joined his fellows in the hospital wing, reporting a severe headache.
"Hotaru! Hotaru!"
Hotaru Imai entered her security card and punched in the codes to open her lab.
"What is it Aoi?" she asked, entering the lab.
Aoi skipped in after her and gasped "Aww…..that's so cute! What is it?"
Hotaru glanced in the direction in which she was pointing "Bunny Boy 25091. He's a prototype. The perfect punching bag, free with every Baka Gun And Duck Scooter Combo purchase"
"He looks a bit like Ruka, doesn't he?" said Aoi, examining the model.
"What did you want to say?"
"How are babies made?"
"Excellent. I can finally test my robotic educator's effectiveness before selling it to high schools"
"Huh?"
"Go sit on that blue chair"
Aoi sat down and a huge screen appeared before her with an Imai Corporations logo on it. A robot whizzed past and stood next to it. Hotaru activated the programme and said "I'll be in the next room"
Three hours later, Aoi knocked on Hotaru's door.
"Come in" said Hotaru, turning from her desk to face the door.
"Err…Hotaru?"
"Yes?"
"That was a very nice movie you made and everything but could you please answer my question now? How are babies made?"
Hotaru stared at her for a full minute, her hand twitching towards the drawer in which her latest baka gun was kept. Finally she said, "Go ask Natsume while I re-work the educator's programme"
After emerging from the lab, wondering why Hotaru Imai had made her see a movie, Aoi started looking for her brother. She found him sitting under his favorite Sakura tree, reading the latest manga.
"Big brother!" cried Aoi, hugging Natsume.
"Hn"
"How are babies made?"
Natsume didn't answer. He clenched his fist and looked away. Aoi looked at him, mystified. That's when she noticed that the Sakura tree behind them was burning.
"Aaah!" she screamed.
"AOI HYUUGA HOW DARE YOU? YOU ARE ENTIRELY TOO YOUNG? WAS IT HIM? WAS IT YOUICHI? I WILL KILL HIM!"
"Big brother?"
"NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED SCHOOL YET! THAT 10 YEAR OLD PERVERT!"
"Mikan said that storks bring them. Is that true?"
"You mean you aren't pregnant?" asked Natsume suspiciously, his eyes still burning.
"Then storks do bring babies? But don't storks eat rodents? So how did the hamster in class have a baby? Why didn't the stork eat it before delivery? Or are baby delivering storks special?"
The infirmary soon had another inhabitant.
"Your food is too good to be true, Anna" said Sumire, sighing.
"But my stomach hurts like hell now" groaned Nonoko, flopping down on the bed.
"C'mon Nonoko" said Anna, dragging her up, "Let's go get some medicine for you and Sumire from the infirmary"
The trio went to the hospital wing. To their surprise, the waiting room was full. Yuu was holding his nose, which had ballooned into something bright red and gigantic. Koko was pale, while Mochu was alternately shaking and laughing hysterically. Ruka was sitting alone in a corner, with his head in his hands muttering "Density=Mass/Volume, no, no, Innocence x Ignorance x Narumi x Damn Fairytales…" Meanwhile Natsume was near the wash basin, pouring water over his face, which was a brighter red than his eyes. Sumire thought that she could see steam coming out from his ears but dismissed it as her imagination.
The nurse, who had been away for her monthly day off, entered the room and said "My, my! A lot of people seem to have fallen ill today!"
"Nurse!" came an all too familiar voice from the hallway. The male occupants of the room shot straight up on their seats with terrified looks on their faces. Mochu and Yuu shot inside the closet. Koko lay down on a bed and pretended to be dead. Ruka went under the table while Natsume hid behind the sofa. Sumire, Anna and Nonoko were totally bewildered.
With all the agonizing slowness of a dramatic moment the door creaked and opened. The girls waited with bated breath to see for themselves the monster that had scared the most popular boys of Alice Academy into hiding.
"Hello everybody!" said Aoi Hyuuga smiling. She went up to the Nurse and tugged her dress.
"Yes?"
"How are babies born?"
Random one-shot, written just because I needed to get rid of my bad mood.
Review please?
- Liz