Hi guys,
I was watching again the Emison call in the episode 5x23, listening in the same time the music 'I was wrong' of sleeperstar - song you might know if you like TVD and especially dalena ha ha :) - and I couldn't help but write this Emison scene. It takes place just before the trial.
Hope you will enjoy reading this :)
PS: Keep in mind that I'm French, so I'm pretty sure it there will be mistakes in my one-shot, but I've tried my best.
Behind her silence
"I loved her against reason,
Against hope, against happiness, against peace,
against all discouragement that could be."
- Charles Dickens
Lying on the hard and cold mattress of her cell, Alison was staring blankly at the ceiling. For a moment, her eyes turned away from the light spot whose light was flickering intermittently, giving her only source of daily entertainment. The room was cramped, composed in all and for all of a simple sink, a dingy table and a bed
The surrounding conversations came to her more and more distinctly at the other end of the corridor, and soon, the DiLaurentis' child saw a group of prisoner, carefully aligned in their rank, make their way to the backyard. The guard opened the door in a shrill squeak and inmates enjoyed their single break of the morning, without waiting. Watching them disappear one by one outside, the girl thought she should do the same, but the weariness and absolute lack of interest in life had come to take over her will.
The girl let out an almost inaudible sigh, which immediately lost between these four walls of jail, before the echo came back to her aground. Alison felt empty. As empty as a gun without bullets, as sad as this piece and her dull paint.
The blonde hated her condition, perhaps more than the blackmail of 'A', how this place made her weak. Every day spent here, digging a little more the gap between it and this huge wall of hope, now just ruins.
Alison had not always been that way. The first few nights in the Rosewood jail, the girl remembered having believed in his sleep being released and back to his family. Unfortunately, these dreams became less and less frequent, until it completely disappears. And when the blonde found herself still hoping, inevitably, the gray walls of the cell brought her back to the reality.
Here, even dreams are narrow.
While the DiLaurentis' child was about to turned her attention to the only bright spot once again, sinking back into the monotony, a clang against the bars startled.
A guard stood outside the gate.
"Prisoner 202", called to the man in an indifferent voice. You have a visitor.
For a moment, Alison persisted without reaction and then realized with a considerable delay, that the prison guard was talking to her. Here, the blonde was only a number, drowned among others. She never really accustomed to this idea.
The jail superintendent went up the tiny flap of the gate, wrapped handcuffs around her wrists. He leads the DiLaurentis' child to the parlor.
While crossing the few meters that separated her to the hall meetings, the teenager wondered about the identity of her mysterious visitor. Everyone had giving up on her. First, her friends, her family, Jason himself had denounced her. Could it be that a person in this world still cares about what she could feel?
"You have ten minutes, the guard announced when he arrived at the door of the parlor. Not one more."
The blonde nodded slightly as she timidly half opened the door. The room was plunged in an almost unreal silence, only broken by the regular melody of raindrops beating against the glass.
Alison slowly looked up and saw a familiar figure posted next to the window. She turned around and the DiLaurentis' child literally felt her heart stop in her chest, recognizing Emily.
The two girls studied each other by a look, none of them feeling the need to break the silence. Behind the absence of words, a stronger feeling, a feeling that the word was not able to express, overwhelmed them.
This time, those few seconds of eternities, had more sense that they ever could. A flow of confusing emotions had spread into the parlor and that, just by the strength of a look.
"Hi", muttered swimmer in a fragile voice.
Her tone, serious and affected, was enough for Alison to know that this word had applied to itself, all the courage that the swimmer had.
"H-hi Em", stammered awkwardly Alison.
Her voice was mushy, exhausted, knowing too well how to be silent. The brunette plunged her dark eyes through into Alison's one, and their simple beauty was enough to make her as helpless as child.
Emily came to the table and sat on the chair. Alison hesitated, but eventually did the same.
"How are you?" asked the swimmer, as she was focusing her attention on her ice-blue eyes.
She only realized at that moment how much she had missed them in their absence.
The DiLaurentis' child was about to answer a banality but changed her mind at the last second. The expression on the face of her friend was genuinely concerned about her situation, and this awareness overwhelmed her. It was the first time in a while that someone was interested about her situation. Really concerned.
"I've been better", Alison admitted suddenly, becoming strangely honest not only to Emily, but also with herself.
The brunette nodded in agreement. She timidly approached their hands to hers, but kept a space between them.
"I'm sorry", she finally confided in a whisper. "I'm so sorry, Ali."
She had whispered with a soft and fragile voice, so the blonde could not help shivering at the sound her nickname.
Her icy blue eyes met the swimmer's one and, at this moment, Alison knew she ceased to be a single number through her eyes.
" I apologize for making you shut up here because of me. If only you knew how I blame myself for letting 'A' use my anger against you and my doubts to manipulate me. I can't stand seeing you locked up here, Ali, maybe almost as much as you hate being here. I know it will not change what I've done and it's a bit late to repair my mistakes but… I wanted to let you know. I ask for your forgiveness."
Alison focused on the features of his face, and all she saw was guilt. Her eyes were focused on an imaginary point somewhere between the edge of the table and their hands, already so close to fall in tears.
"Emily", replied the first one reassuringly. "I made so many missteps in my life that I stopped counting them. Of course I forgive you."
A glimmer of hope lit the loving eyes of her friend.
" So you're not angry against me?"
Alison gave her best smile, but that smile was sad.
"I could never blame you, Emily Fields."
And the blonde approached a little nearer her hand to the swimmer's one, so close that she could almost feel her touch. Just a few millimeters separated them now.
"I thought about what you reproach me the other day. It's true that things would be so much easier if I dared confess the truth instead of lying. So in this case, if I have to be totally honest with you, then you must know that ... when I called this morning, it was to talk to you about something but in the meantime I lost courage and finally I ... did not say it. So, If I called you it was not to discuss about the trial, or 'A', even less to debate about this damn rain in Rosewood. In reality, what I desperately wanted, was simply to hear the sound of your voice a little longer, she confessed, his voice trembling slightly with emotion. I… I miss you, Em."
The Fields' child open her lips a little and kept the half-close. Alison felt that his confession had struck a nerve.
" Why did you keep it to yourself?" she asked suddenly, holding her gaze.
"I don't know. It seems that I have not as much assurance as people imagine. Perhaps also because you said…
She stopped a little before taking the floor again.
"… Having wasted so much time on me and the idea that you can hate me is probably one of the hardest things I've been through in quite some years."
A bright lit up Emily's eyes while a shy silence settled between them.
" I think we both know that I never truly thought what I said that night, Ali."
After this confession, Alison strengthened her ice-blue eyes on hers, and found nothing else but tenderness. The teenager let her look slide slowly toward his lips. Resist the temptation to kiss necessitated far more control than it could have imagined.
"Alison", Emily whispered so sweetly that her friend felt her heart melt. "I have to ask you a question ... and I really need you to answer honestly to this one."
Swimmer stopped. The DiLaurentis' child nodded and gave her a warmth smile in order to make her confident, so the swimmer eventually decided to take the floor again.
" Do you have feelings for me?"
Alison's heart literally jumped in her chest. The question was extremely simple, the answer, meanwhile, was much more difficult to give because it had to be chosen carefully.
Alison tried clumsily to gather her words, and if fear had overwhelmed her, at the very moment her eyes rested on Emily's one, all these doubts disappeared suddenly. It was like a perfume of evidence in the air, as if every moment, every hour, had lead them to it.
She was about to speak again, but the swimmer was way ahead of her.
" I shouldn't have asked you this, the first one regretted with a hint of bitterness in her voice. Anyway, I never knew how to be with you. I'm not even able to know what you are thinking half of the time", she said.
Emily sat up hurriedly from her seat.
She was about to reach the exit but Alison held her arm in-extremis, closed the distance between them, and finally kissed her. The brunette instinctively kissed her back, extending it with all passion she was capable.
Yet all good things must end. The guard suddenly knocked on the door of the parlor, reminding them that all contact was forbidden. Alison pulled back reluctantly, but maintained a minimum distance.
"Does that answer your question?" she asked, with the beauty and innocence of a child.
A brown wick fell carelessly on the face of Emily then the child of the DiLaurentis mechanically pushed behind her ear. She was again called to order by the prison supervisor.
So close to each other, but not as much as they wanted to, the two teenagers transmitted by a single glance all the feelings they maintained and that no gesture on this earth could have expressed.
"The visit is finished", announced the prison guard.
Emily broke eye contact.
" I love you Ali", she whispered softly.
"I love you too, Em", promised the second on the same soft tone.
The blonde let her gaze linger on the swimmer's face and tried to memorize as much detail as she could, in order to take in her mind a bit of the girl she loved, before finding her loneliness once again.
The guard grabbed Alison's shoulder and she could only watch helplessly their hand get away.
The gate was closed soon, while Alison found the way to his cell. The girl sat mechanically on the mattress but this time, with the feeling that something had changed.
Yes, the room was definitely different.
Yesterday it was empty, today it was filled of hope.
Thank you reading this. Have you liked it ? Do you think something like that could happened in the show, because I really hope that Emison in endgame (I'm so afraid that Marlene decided that there are not… ). If you can, leave me a review. You will be amazing :)