Ok, so after watching Slingshot, I decided that I didn't like that John simply returns to Thunderbird 5. He seemed eager to follow Alan when he left, and I would have liked to have seen some brotherly comfort going on. So, this is my take.
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Alan was a ball of adrenaline-fuelled energy when he and Kayo finally returned. It was amazing that he'd managed to keep himself down on the ground as he stood bouncing on the balls of his feet. He recounted every minor detail (no pun intended) of what happened on the asteroid, practically giddy as he retold his idea to use the explosive charges to give Thunderbird 3 the kick it needed to get going. His older brothers had all been sat there when he'd first come up with the idea, and so had already known the plan, but they were so filled with relief that they didn't mind humouring him.
"You did good up there, Alan," Scott said, standing and resting his hand on his youngest brother's shoulder. "We're all proud of you."
"Ah, no big deal. I wasn't worried at all." He crossed his arm across his body, gripping his arm in a way that revealed his true age. He wouldn't meet his older brother's eyes, knowing that they would see the truth.
"Um, I think I'm gonna turn in." Scott smiled.
"I don't blame you. Get some rest." Alan nodded and hurried away. John watched him go, suddenly standing.
"I'm heading back up." He waved to the only female present. "Good work up there, Kayo." He followed after his younger brother.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Alan made his way down the corridor to his room, now feeling able to show how the fear that he'd been trying so hard to hide. He stopped, wrapping his arms around his body, trying to fight of the chill that wasn't present. He shivered as his thoughts turned to what had nearly happened. First, he and Kayo had nearly been cooked, and then they'd nearly been thrown into space with no way home. He leaned against the wall, eyes scrunched shut, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. That was how John found him.
"Alan?" The teenager jumped, swinging around, blue eyes wide from shock. He backed against the wall, hand clenching at his chest. All for dramatic effect, of course.
"Jeez, John. Do you have to sneak up on people? Nearly gave me a heart attack!" John smiled fondly.
"I wasn't exactly sneaking, Alan. Are you alright?" Alan grinned, though the expression didn't reach his eyes. John noticed the lack of glimmer that would normally shine there.
"Yeah, I'm fine. You know me. Bounce back from anything." John said nothing, silently regarding his youngest sibling. His expression and stance said everything for him, anyway. He wasn't going anywhere until Alan told him the truth. Alan sighed, folding his arms and pouting in a show of petulance.
"Weren't you suppose to be going back up to 5?"
"I will be, as soon as I know you're alright. Really alright."
"Yeah, well, I am. See? All smiles and laughter and…" John had raised an eyebrow, folding his arms over his chest. Even in his pale checked shirt and jeans, John managed to look serious and business-like. Alan sighed, slumping back against the wall. There was no way he could beat his older brother now, not when he used The Look. It was a look that said he knew exactly what was going on, and he wasn't going to be moved until the other party had admitted to it. It was the same look he used to use when they were kids and Gordon hid his battered old astronomy books.
"Alan, the truth." The young blond looked up at his brother, his eyes conveying everything. John unfolded his arms and relaxed his stance, stepping forward and pulling his younger brother into a much needed embrace. Alan accepted it a little too readily, burying his face in John's shirt. His shoulders shook as he finally relinquished his 'tough guy' act. John wrapped his arms around him, holding him as close as he could, feeling the wetness of Alan's tears as they soaked through the fabric.
"It's ok, Al. It's over now. It's ok."
"I was so scared, Johnny. I felt so alone out there. I thought that...I thought I'd never see any of you again...I thought I'd…" Alan's voice broke as he sobbed.
"I know, I know. But you came through. You did good. You're safe. You're safe and so is Kayo." Alan tightened his hold, unwilling to let go as his body was racked with grief and fear. John repeated his words of comfort, keeping hold of his younger brother, fighting back the guilt he felt. Alan needed this. He needed to let it all out. He needed to let go. He needed to stop being Alan Tracy- International Rescue Astronaut for a moment and just be Alan Tracy, the 16 year old.
He wasn't sure how long it had been, but finally the sobs became sniffles and Alan pulled himself away, wiping at his eyes.
"I'm sorry." He cast an embarrassed sideways glance to his older brother, before averting his gaze to the hem of his t-shirt. For the first time in a long time, John saw his kid brother for exactly what he was- a kid. A kid that had shouldered so much responsibility, a kid that had eagerly joined his brothers in their secret International Rescue organisation. A kid that was trying to shun the over-protectiveness of his older brothers. A kid that, right at this very moment in time, wanted nothing more than to be comforted and protected, regardless of what he might say out loud.
"There's nothing to be sorry for. If anyone's sorry, it's me." Alan looked up, confusion colouring his now bloodshot blue eyes.
"Why?" John sighed.
"Because I'm the one that sent you out there in the first place. I'm the one who put both you and Kayo in that position. I'm the one that nearly sent you both to your…" He broke off. He wouldn't say it. Couldn't say it. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I never should have sent you." Alan pulled him into another embrace.
"John, it's what we do. We make the impossible happen, remember?"
"But not at the cost of family." Alan suddenly laughed, taking his big brother by surprise.
"Who's supposed to be comforting who here?" John smiled.
"I'm not sure, now." Alan giggled. There was no other word for it. It was a giggle. Not a girly giggle, but one that spoke of youthful joy returning. It was the same giggle Alan had issued when he was distracting EOS.
"Besides, who else were you going to send? Gordon? He'd be a fish out of water. Seriously. He'd be a fish in space." John laughed at that.
"That's true. Space Squid." Alan joined in the laughter.
"Complete with Squid Sense." They held each other, laughing hard. Alan wiped away tears, leaning against his older brother. They'd both needed that.
"You did what you had to, Johnny. You did your job. I did mine. Kayo did hers." John looked down at the serious voice. Alan met his sea green gaze. There was a wisdom in the youngest's eyes that he wasn't sure he'd seen before. Had it always been there? Or had it developed recently?
"I know, kiddo. And I know that you're more than capable out there. You're a Tracy, after all. Like Scott said, we're all proud of you." Alan smiled, the light shining in his eyes again.
"Yeah, and I'm proud of all of you, too." John pulled him into a one-armed embrace, noticing the teenager trying to fight off a yawn.
"You should go and get some sleep. You never know when you'll be needed again." Alan nodded.
"Yeah, and you'd better go back up before EOS thinks you've ran off and left her alone." John chuckled.
"She knows where I am. She is technically Thunderbird 5, after all. Eyes and ears everywhere." Alan grinned.
"That's true. But still."
"Yeah, I know. Look, Alan, before I go, I just want you to know that I am proud of you. I've always been proud of you. The same goes for the others. You really stepped up today, kiddo." Alan smiled sheepishly, his hand reaching round to rub the back of his head.
"Thanks, Johnny." John nodded, hugging him once more before letting go and walking back towards the hangars. Alan watched him go, feeling lighter than he had done for a while. He carried on towards his door and yawned widely as he entered. Baring his emotions, his true emotions, had been exhausting. He knew, deep down, that it wouldn't be the last time. Not while he had four older brothers who would always be there for him. He would never be alone.
They would never let him be alone.
So, what did you think? I hope I kept them in character.
Thanks for reading!