Don't Look, Just Feel
(Summary) The first to catch on is Duo of course. He's also the one that gives Trowa some much needed advice. Ficlet, 3x4. Beware the sap.
The first to catch on is Duo of course. He always catches on to stuff like this.
He waltzes in, throws himself in the only other available chair and spins it round a couple of times before coming to a stop. Trowa watches as one expression bleeds into another and Duo levels him with a serious gaze.
"Hey man, I hear you haven't been talking to Quatre lately." The words hold just a bit of concern although Trowa is uncertain who the concern is aimed at. It takes him a while to respond as he ponders on that thought but Duo doesn't seem to care that he takes a while in replying.
"I haven't." He finally says, the truthful words almost scraping off his tongue. He winces minutely, unsure whether he should have told the truth or made up a plausible lie. It's hard to lie to Duo though and maybe, just maybe he can help.
"Why?" Duo asks next. It's an obvious question and yet Trowa still stumbles over it for a few minutes. He takes his time to reply, carefully planning out his answer but he shrugs. He can't think of an answer. It's a cloud floating somewhere in the back of his brain that he just can't connect with.
He shrugs again.
"Well, you have to decide first. You like him right?" Trowa freazes. Duo catches the motion of stillness and gives a bark of laughter. "I am right aren't I?"
Trowa nods, almost without thinking and curses himself when Duo laughs louder. He watches with narrowed eyes as Duo snaps his fingers and leans forward. "Let me guess – you like him but you don't know how to tell him?"
He just resists the urge to roll his eyes, isn't that always the problem in situations like these? He's loved Quatre for…for so long that things seemed to have stagnated and he just can't find a way out of it all. Everything has come to a stop and he has yet to find a way to start it all moving again. It makes his head ache just to think about it.
"Of course I like him," Trowa finally admits as Duo continues to stare at him.
"So what's the problem? There isn't one right? You just need to go up to Blondie and say it, easy as pie." Duo smirks, like he's just figured out the secret to world peace. Trowa thinks he might just need to give the braided idiot a reality check but decides he'll leave it to Heero. He seems to know how to keep Duo under control.
"It's not that easy," Trowa counters, leaning back in his chair. "For one…I have no idea where Quatre is."
"Huh?" Duo looks at him, brows furrowing in confusion. He leans forward, over the desk that Trowa had been using as a shield. "What do you mean you don't know where he is?"
"Just that," Trowa says, "Quatre is on a mission, I have no idea when he'll be back."
Duo smirks at him. "Nice try, man but I happen to know that Quatre returned this morning. Try another one."
Trowa curses inwardly, his mind feverishly reaching for something else, some other reason, or excuse, but it comes back empty. He can feel himself growing more panicked, his muscles tightening in reflex and he can't help but draw himself back a little, away from Duo and his inquiring eyes.
"I…can't."
Duo snorts. "Why the hell not? You like him, I'm damn sure he likes you. I don't see a problem here."
"The problem is me." Trowa replies quietly. He avoids Duo's gaze when his friend gazes at him in concern. "Quatre's…he's too…bright."
A raised eyebrow but Duo – miraculously enough – manages to stay quiet and Trowa continues. "Whenever he's close to me, I get blinded. I can't – I don't know what to do about it."
A noise from the doorway, a sigh and Trowa jerks out of his chair when he sees Quatre leaning there, arms folded across his chest and a despairing look on his face.
He watches as Quatre motions Duo out of the door, slamming the door in his face when Duo goes to say something. He remains where he is as Quatre makes his way across the room, coming around the desk to stand mere centimetres away.
They stay like that for a while, the room filled only with the sound of their combined breathing. Trowa doesn't quite know what to do, if he should move away, or closer. He wants to move closer, he aches to really but he can't. He just can't force his muscles to do anything but stay as they are.
Quatre moves for him though. With an explosive sigh he leans his head forward until their foreheads are just touching. Blond mixes with brown and Trowa finds his eyes closing without his consent, his body finally relaxing as the all the tension seems to just melt away with the contact.
It's barely there, just a brush of skin against skin, but Trowa can feel it with every pore in his body and he yearns for more.
"Trowa," Quatre finally says. "If you're ever blinded by me…just close your eyes and feel me instead."
His arms come up and around and suddenly their embracing so tightly that Trowa can barely feel where he ends and Quatre begins. But that doesn't matter because Quatre is there and he can feel him and everything is right.
"I'm sorry," he says quietly.
Quatre merely chuckles softly. "I love you Trowa."
"I…love you too. Quatre." Trowa replies before leaning down and kissing the boy that has bought all this light into his life. He opens his eyes slowly to see Quatre's blue ones looking back at him and, although they're beautiful and shining with happiness Trowa can't look away.
But this time he won't run. This time he'll fall. Because he knows that in the midst of all this shining light is a pair of arms that will hold him up, and a loving heart that will never let go.
la finis