A/N: Okay so this is my take on the episode from Once and Again, "G.S.A". Written in Katie's POV, shows her side of everything that was happening that episode. Most of the dialogue is taked straight from the episode, but i did skip a few things, and probably didn't get it perfect, but that wasn't really what i was going for anyways.

Italics represent Katie's thoughts.

Rated T for mild swearing and the plot i guess. Nothing real major to worry about since it all comes from the TV show.

One-Shot for now. Possibility of continuing, but will probably stay on its own until i find some sort of inspiration. Oh, and it's my first fic, so uh.. keep that in mind? And i would love reviews since this is my first fic out there, and i don't really have a good idea how good/bad my writing is =]

Katie POV

How cool is this? She thought as she followed some of her classmates up the stairs. I get to see Dimitri's house. Normally she was against stupid clubs, like the Gay-Straight Alliance, which never really got anything done, but something just pulled her here. I mean, sure, there had been something between her and a girl once, but she wasn't really into labels.

Either way, she stepped into the house and took a look around. Dimitri had a good sized house with lots of bookshelves. Well, only to be expected from an English teacher. Before she could continue checking out the house, she caught sight of Jessie. She kept following the crowd through the house until she reached to spot where Jessie was standing.

"Hey Billie." Katie said as she approached her friend.

"Hi, Billie I-" Jessie stuttered, with a surprised look on her face.

"Wow, nice color scheme." Katie commented while taking a look around.

"I thought that you thought clubs like this were stupid?" Jessie questioned.

"Oh, I do. I just felt like seeing Dimitri's house." Katie said as she made her way towards a seat, leaving Jessie standing in the same spot, with a weird look on her face. Without taking much notice, Katie plopped down in a chair next to one with Jessie's jacket hanging over it, and waited for the meeting to begin.

20 minutes later

Katie was starting to get really bored. Why did I come again? Glancing around the room, while looking for something interesting, she stopped when her eyes fell on Jessie. She looked like she was putting all of her energy into the assignment she was doing. Nevertheless, Katie reached over and nudged her knee.

"Jessie, you wanna go?" Katie whispered, noticing that Jessie seemed about as into the meeting as she was.

"Now?" Jessie asked, looking up at Katie.

"Yeah come on lets go."

Jessie gave Katie a weak smile and a small shake of her head, then went back to what she was doing. Katie just rolled her eyes and slumped back in her seat, giving up for the time being. Okay. This is really weird. Why would she just ignore me like that? Huh…

The meeting still wasn't over, but Katie couldn't take it anymore. Eventually getting fed up with the lack of action, Katie decided to try Jessie one more time.

"I'm totally bored. Are you bored?" Katie whispered to Jessie once again.

"I'm really trying to finish this." Jessie replied. The statement would have sounded harsh from anyone else but her, who somehow had a way of letting you know it was meant to be harsh, but still sounding like her perfectly sweet self. Either way, Katie understood what it meant. It was painfully obvious by her second attempt at conversation that Katie was being ignored. Think, Katie, think. Was there anything you did in the past few days to cause her to act like this? But its not like she's acting mad…is she confused? Upset? God, what could I possibly have done?!

When the meeting was finally over, Katie stood up, grabbed her jacket, and secretly prayed Jessie wouldn't avoid her this time before speaking to her.

"Come on, lets go." She said to Jessie. Or more like Jessie's back, considering the fact that she had already gotten up and was headed in the other direction.

"Shouldn't we help clean all this stuff up?" Jessie asked as she gestured to the junk-food covered table.

"No it's ok I'll do it." Grace assured her, overhearing what Jessie had said. "Just tell my mother I had to stay late, okay?"

"Sure." Jessie replied, keeping her back towards Katie.

Tad, who was also standing nearby, turned to Jessie and asked if she needed a ride, since Grace was staying late.

"I don't know, um-" Jessie muttered, before being cut off.

"Yeah, she does." Katie shot at Tad while heading for the door. Whatever I did, or didn't do, I know I don't deserve to be treated like this. Avoiding or not, it's obvious she doesn't want to be around me, so I'll just do us both the favor and leave now.

"Katie…" Jessie almost pleaded to her, but sounding unsure of herself even as she said it; like she wouldn't know what to say next even if Katie stayed long enough to listen.

"Have fun." Katie snapped sarcastically, then turned away and left.

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

She ran out the door, down the steps, and into her car, rushing without even knowing why. Attempting to clear her mind, she shoved her key into the car and sped off as soon as she could. Flying through the streets at least 15 miles over the limit, she arrived home 10 minutes later. Once inside, she ran up to her room, grateful for the utter silence that filled her house.

After entering her room, Katie fell onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. At this point she was definitely sure there was something up with Jessie. She just wasn't being… herself. All this avoidance was killing her. How can she just stop being friends with me? Did I do something wrong? GOD. I don't want to lose her. As a friend, of course. … Or is it just as a friend? Are my feeling for her truly platonic? Or did I pass that a while ago? All I know is that I love being around her, but I can't stand whatever she's doing now.

A few hours later and the only solid conclusion Katie had come to was that she needed sleep. Staying up and coming up with thousands of different explanations for Jessie's behavior wasn't going to help anyone. With a final glance at a picture of Jessie and herself that was on her nightstand, she shut off the light and promptly fell asleep.

The next morning

Katie woke up after a surprisingly dreamless sleep. Groggily pulling herself out of bed, she stumbled to the bathroom and rubbed her eyes. Splashing some cold water on her face, she jumped into the shower and savored the hot water for a few minutes before actually functioning.

When she had finished showering and getting dressed, Katie bounded down the stairs in search of some breakfast. Ew gross, only plain Rice Krispies. We really need to make a sugar run she thought as she inspected the nearly empty cabinets.

Eventually stomaching the cereal, she ran out to her car before she was late. Shoving her bag in the back seat, Katie climbed in and started the engine. She debated driving by Jessie's to see if she needed a ride, but figured she'd probably get one from Grace or just throw out some meaningless excuse.

By the time she got to school, she barely had enough time to race to her first period before the bell rang.

After second period

Katie was walking though the halls on her way to third period when she saw Jessie on the stairs and waved. Jessie's eyes flickered towards her, then quickly away as she kept walking down the stairs. How odd. She definitely saw me. I can't understand why she's doing this…

Before fifth period, one minute until late bell

Oh good, there's Jessie. Jessie was hurriedly walking down the hall, and Katie had to run to catch up with her.

"Jess!" Katie yelled as Jessie turned around, but kept walking. When Katie finally reached her she asked "What's going on?"

"Hey. What do you mean?" Jessie replied, seemingly confused.

"Didn't you see me wave to you before?" Katie questioned. "On the steps I was like waving to you." She said as she did a little wave.

"No, I didn't see you." Jessie stated.

"Oh" I'm almost positive she saw me… "Well do you wanna come over later?" Maybe we could just hang out like we used to.

"I can't I have to visit my mom in the hospital." She quickly replied.

"I could come with you?" Katie half-asked, half-stated. It's probably hard for her to be around her mom in this condition. She could probably use a friend there with her.

"It's not really fun for you though." Jessie said, making it painfully obvious that she didn't want Katie to come.

"Look." Katie said as she stopped and turned towards Jessie. "Are you mad at me?"

"What?" She replied distractedly. "No."

"Well then why are you being like this?!" Katie said exasperatedly.

BELL RINGS

"Look I got to go, I'm gonna be late." Jessie said hurriedly while walking away. "But I'll talk to you later okay?"

"Jessie, wait!" Katie pleaded, but she was talking to a quickly moving back. Katie took a step back as Grace walked past her and into their English class, while shooting her a look. Oh great. I hope she didn't hear all that… Mr. Dimitri ushered her into the classroom, and she sat down with a sigh.

She's avoiding me. No doubt about it. She is. I hate this! Why is she acting this way? I love her! Wait. Did I just use the word love? Oh my god. I do love her. She's my best friend, but I do want something more. Jessie is the most amazing person I know. I can't let this continue; I can't lose her. But how do I let her know?

Before she had time to doubt herself again, she reached into her bag and pulled out a notebook and a sharpie. Dimitri had already started his lecture of the day, but at this point Katie was in her own world. She started the note by addressing it to Jessie, then quickly filled the rest of the page. She wrote everything. Everything she was feeling; all her doubts and all of her certainties. She got to the end of the page, tore it out, then picked it up again on another sheet. Word after word found its way onto paper, her sharpie flying faster then it ever had during school hours. She was pouring all of herself into this simple note. But it wasn't even close to simple. As Katie signed her name and folded up the two-sheet final product, she knew that it was anything BUT simple. Her friendship with Jessie potentially lied within the folds of this note. In fact, this was possibly one of the most COMPLICATED things to ever happen to her.

But it shouldn't be complicated. Love isn't a complicated matter. It's a feeling, and you either feel it or you don't. But sometimes you feel it in a different way, which then makes things complicated. Feelings between friends are completely different than those between lovers. The basics are present in both; care, loyalty, trust. Unfortunately, other feelings get in the way of love, which adds to the complication. Straying from the initial feeling, stress from society and self-doubt tie into the mess that is love.

Loving Jessie, it didn't happen on purpose. Katie contemplated as she waited for her class to be over. I didn't ask for it, I didn't plan it. I never expected to feel the way I do at this moment. And I know she may not return what I'm putting out, but I'll be damned if I don't at least try. If she's the person that I know she is, then she can't ignore me for much longer. She won't. Even if she doesn't love me back, she'll find a way to tell me and we can still be friends. That's really all I want, to be her friend. Even if I have to suffer through every day knowing that she could be off with someone else, it will all be worth it if she could still be a part of my life. Her happiness is the most important thing. My happiness… well that just comes second. I suppose that's what love is…

After what felt like hours, the bell signaling the end of class finally rang. Katie grabbed her bag and walked over to Grace before she could leave.

"Could you do me a favor?" Katie asked softly as she approached Grace "Could you give this note to Jessie when you see her? It's extremely personal."

As soon as Grace took the note, Katie rushed out the door. Eager to get this day over with, Katie proceeded to her next class.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. After her… epiphany of sorts, Katie was really unable to focus on anything related to school. Half the time she forgot what class she was in. It was as if her mind had been tuned-in to one thing only, and everything else was just routine. Butterflies had been creeping around her stomach since she handed over the note to Grace. All she could think about was Jessie's reaction, good or bad. Well, hopefully good. But her mind did seem to dwell on the bad… the 'What if' scenarios were playing in her mind all at once, being jumbled into one big heap of horribleness. Then, out of the blue, she would imagine Jessie staring into her eyes and telling her she felt the same way. And somehow that would bring her hope, and all the bad things would just melt away and not matter.

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

By now, Katie was sure Jessie had read the note. It was 9:30, not too late to be calling her house. She'd been home from the hospital for most likely an hour or so. Okay Katie, you know what to do, just dial the number. Wait, no. I can't do this…. Oh god the butterflies are back. But I have to. Okay just breathe. Punch in the numbers…Okay its ringing… Please pick up Jess.

"Hello?" Damn, Lily.

"Uh hi it's Katie, is Jessie there?"

"Hold on one minute Katie, I think she's upstairs." Deep breaths. In, out. Ugh, hurry up Lily! I hate anticipation…Ok well I can hear something going on-

"Katie? Jessie's going to bed now, but she'll call you later okay?"

"Alright" DAMN DAMN DAMNNNNNNNNNNIT

"Okay, bye"

Oh my god. She must have read the letter by now. Oh my GOD! She's avoiding me. That's it, she read the letter, got freaked out, and never wants to see me again. Damnit Katie, why did you write that letter? That STUPID letter is going to ruin our friendship! I wish I could just go back in time and knock some goddamn sense into me! Okay. I need to sleep. If I don't I think I might throw up.

And with that, Katie got into bed, pulled the covers over her head, and tried desperately to fall asleep.

The next day, English (fifth period)

The sound of the bell startled Katie as her mind was brought back to this planet. Thank god this class is OVER.

"Grace, wait." Katie whispered, catching Grace before she left the room "So what happened?"

"What? What do you mean? Nothing happened." Grace said hurriedly

"But I mean you gave her the note, right?" When Grace just stared back, Katie took that as a no. Oh, yes! That means she didn't read it, and wasn't avoiding me for that reason! "Oh thank god you didn't give it to her."

"No. No, I did. I did give it to her."

"Oh." Shit. So she DID read it. "Oh god…"

"Yeah so-" Grace was obviously inching towards the door. No, I need more information than this! She can't run away from me too.

"But wait! I mean, did she say anything? 'Cause when-" Ugh, Dimitri! Stop talking to Grace! Damn teacher… won't stop talking… but this means that Jessie really wants nothing to do with me anymore. Wow. And now I have to stand here and pretend to keep a straight face in front of her sister. This actually feels really awkward… Great. And now I have to stare at the wall…

"Look Katie, the thing is she was really upset yesterday. After visiting her mom. Like really upset, I mean she may not have even read it yet." Woah, Grace actually just smiled at me. That's a first.

"Really? You think that could be true?" Okay that sounded way too hopeful… well maybe because it is!

"It's definitely possible"

"Oh thank you, I love you!" Okay, small glimmer of hope has returned! But still…I can't avoid the fact that, letter or not, something's up. I guess I should just go over to her house after school, at least then she can't run away from me. And she stayed home sick, so that cuts lame excuses of having to go somewhere out of the picture. Alright, after school sounds like a plan.

After school

Remember breathing? Yeah well I think it would be a good idea to do that. Phew. Okay. Doorbell, right. Great, Eli.

"Uh, hey Eli. Is Jessie home?"

"Yeah she's upstairs in her room. You can go up if you want."

"Awesome, thanks."

So now I just need to go up there and talk to her. It'll be easy! Easy… right.

*Knock* "Come in!"

Katie walked up the stairs, but lost all her confidence when she saw Jessie looking back at her. Okay, can't do this. Um, I gotta come up with an excuse…

"Oh, um, I thought that you were my step-mother."

"Well, I'm not. Your brother let me in." Great, so does that mean she wouldn't have let me in if she knew it was me?

"Oh" Jessie managed to squeak out. She looked like she was at a loss for words.

"Look I just want my sweater back and then I won't bother you again." Nice excuse… oh well at least I thought of one. I gotta get out of here before I totally fall apart.

"You're not bothering me." Surprisingly, she didn't break eye contact. Of course I couldn't keep my eyes from staring towards the ground every two seconds.

"Fine. Can I just have the sweater?

"Sure, um. It's gotta be around here somewhere." She then turned around and started sifting through items on and around her bed. While her eyes were roaming, Katie noticed the letter lying on the floor.

"Oh look you missed the trash." Katie said, voice dripping with sarcasm. Great. I knew this would happen. Not sure I can take this.

Jessie rushed over and grabbed the letter. "I wasn't going to throw it away."

"Fine. Whatever. Can I just have it back please?" Although Katie's tone was harsh, you could hear her voice shaking a little, like she was fighting back the tears.

"You want the letter back?" Jessie asked with a look of disbelief.

"Look I've humiliated myself enough as it is!" Katie said as she grabbed the letter and started walking in the opposite direction, back towards Jessie.

"How?"

"Because" Katie turned back towards Jessie and ran her hand through her hair. "I shouldn't have written all that stuff!" Crap I'm losing it. I can already hear my voice cracking…

"Its okay! I just-" Jessie's voice was starting to crack as well

"It's obviously not okay since you'll barely even talk to me!" Okay? OKAY? How the hell its everything OKAY??

"I just want to be friends!" Both girls were close to hysterics at this point.

"That's what I want!" Oh thank god, she still wants to talk to me. Friends. I can deal with this.

"Well from your letter it seemed…"

"No! Forget the stupid letter!" Yes this conversation is at least going somewhere that doesn't end with her not speaking to me ever again. I at least think it is… But god, why did I even write that stupid thing?!?

"I don't want anything you don't want!"Katie said, taking a step back towards Jessie.

"I just want to be friends!"

"Me too!" Yes, yes! I can still be her friend! This is so amazing, I am sooo relieved. This could have turned out way worse.

"I've just been really-" Jessie said, her voice rising and leaning a little more towards hysterics.

"Confused, I know." Katie supplied, taking another step forward.

"And - exactly, and I didn't know what to do, and you're really important to me!" Jessie stepped in closer towards Katie.

Katie looked down at the floor again. "… I am?" She asked, as though doubtful, and looked back up into Jessie's eyes.

"Yes!" Jessie said with such force, you wouldn't dare doubt her. "Don't you know that?"

"Because you are so important to me!"

"So can we just be friends? I mean, am I still your friend?"

"Yes, of course! Oh my god!" Katie responded, with a huge smile plastered on her face. The two girls were half laughing while smiling at the same time as they leaned in for a tight hug. "Of course you're still my friend." Katie said somewhat softer, still in the hug. Thank god, thank god, thank lordy Jesus! I am soo happy! I really couldn't have asked for anything more than this, her understanding. I knew she wouldn't push me away! I think I always knew deep down she wouldn't do that to me.

A few seconds into the hug, Katie whispered "So just throw the stupid letter out, okay?"

"I can't." Jessie said after a few seconds.

Katie pulled back from the hug, and looked at Jessie with wide eyes, their faces just inched apart.

"I can't throw it away." Jessie repeated, a little softer. "I want to keep it forever."

Katie felt the corners of her lips twitch upwards towards a smile, then back down again. She glanced down, and then back up into Jessie's eyes. Ignoring everything her brain was screaming at her, Katie leaned in and met Jessie in the middle as their lips collided. She heard a sharp intake of breath, but wasn't sure if it came from her or not. And honestly, she didn't care. Her whole world seemed to end and begin all at the same time. She knew that if someone were to kill her at that very second, she would die in a state of such bliss, she was positive no other human being could possibly experience anything so amazing as she was experiencing.

And all it took was two seconds. That's how long it took for Jessie Sammler to completely change her life.