Angel With The Scabbed Wings

Chapter 1 Mental

I sob silently as I sway back and forth holding my knees tightly in the depressing colorless padded room, the padded mats felt like pillows filled with soft feathers made to be comforting yet they bring me no comfort at all. The "room" is you want to call it that was more like an impenetrable soft cage; with no escape even the door is invisible. My long black midnight hair falls in my pale sore face as my hot heavy breathing causes the strands to float up and down limply. Sweat, runs down my face and I start to shake violently, my breathing becomes heavier. Becoming more frightened I start to quietly whisper a song that I used to sing to me my little brother Deven. I quietly sing the words:

Catch me as I fall
Say you're here, and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here, and I fall into myself
This truth drives me into madness
I know I can stop the pain, if I will it all away
If i will it all away...
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die...)
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow, I know that there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be blinded by tears
I can stop the pain, if I will it all away
If I will it all away...
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die...)
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me, I fear
She beckons me, shall I give in?
Upon my end, shall I begin?
Forsaking all I've fallen for, I rise to meet the end
oh oh oh oooh oh
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die...)
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep, never die...)
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light...
(Never sleep, never die...)
Servatis a periculum...
Servatis a maleficum...

I sing, my small voice bouncing off the padded walls of my cage. Although thinking this would have calmed me down I'm wrong. Still I panic with anxiety, fear, and confusion. The only thing I here now is my own sniffling and crying as my tears hit the white soft floor. "Pit- pat" the noise keeps on playing around the room.

I'm not claustrophobic, in fact I like tight spaces I feel safe in them, but not here this place scares me. This place scares me because I'm alone I don't know anyone I'm sad and confused I don't know where my family is and I don't know how I got here. I look around me and I'll I see is the darkness of the pallid cage, that's when I notice that I'm in a straight jacket, my arms restrained tightly and securely, that's when I just can't take anymore. I scream, I scream at the top of my lungs my high pitch voice bouncing off the walls and I keep on screaming till I hear the door open. The lights flicker on and I'm blinded by the brightness of the white pads which surround me, the ceiling, floors, and walls are all blinding me with brightness of white. A nurse walks in she is tall with short blonde hair which bobs up and down as she walks into the room, her soft blue eyes showered with a worried expression. She's wearing a tight white nurse's outfit and her name tag, although blurred with my teary vision, clearly reads Nurse Jamey. She walks up to me with a gentle smile and undoes the tan straight jacket. After she releases me from my restraints I squirm away from her and tuck myself into a ball lying on the floor in a fetal position. She moves closer to me and holds me. "It's ok sweetie I'm not going to hurt you." she says as she rubs my back softly, calming me down. When I stop crying she stops rubbing my back, "W-were a-am I?" I croak. "You're in a mental hospital where we'll make you feel better. Do you remember anything like your name?" she asks sweetly and I nod my head lightly and whisper, "My name is Jane I'm, I'm I think I'm five years old I umm uhh I- " I trail off forgetting what else I could say. "Well that's good come on and follow me." she says with a friendly smile and I follow her out the door of the padded white imprisonment.

I follow her, my bare feet making slapping noises as her white high heels click on the cold blue and white checker tile floor. The walls of the hallways are plane white and the ceiling is white as well are white as well but they have large light beams hanging from the ceiling. There are many rooms that we pass; most of them have their white doors closed. Everything smelt too clean and sterile I hate the smell and appearance of this place. I follow her down to another room and I step in side as she walks in behind me "do you know how to take a shower by yourself?" she asks I nod and she silently leaves the room which is a bathroom. The walls are light blue and the floor shiny white. The tub is small but I'm small so it doesn't matter. Next to the shower there is a toilet plane and white, next to the toilet there is a wooden counter with a sink and mirror on the wall above the counter.

Although at age 5 I still know very well how to care for myself. I walk over to the white small shower and turn it on making the temperature really hot causing the room to steam up and the small mirror to fog. I slowly undress from my muddy ripped tattered black tank top and black skinny jeans pealing them off of my body I see my pale white skin littered in scrapes and cuts of all sorts. After undressing myself I step into the heated shower. The warm water stings the cuts and bruises that litter my body, I watch in horror as I observe the dried scarlet blood drips off of my pale skin, onto the floor of the slippery white tub and down the silver ringed drain. One wound that I see goes straight from my collar bone on the left all the way down to my right hip, the cut seems to still be open but isn't too deep and only a little blood drips out of the wound. I scrub my hair and rid it of mud and dirt; I look around for shelves and find cheep shampoo. I squirt it into my hand and scrub my head roughly getting my hair cleaned. After cleaning out my hair I take a face cloth that I find on the counter and wet it with the heated shower water. I then lightly scrubbed my wounds, cleaning them of any dirt, although painful I still continue. When I reach the long wound that crosses the center of my stomach I hesitantly and lightly run the cloth over it causing my skin to sting violently in pain but I continue on. Once I finish painfully cleaning out my wounds I turn of the shower and step out onto the slippery white floor of the bathroom. I look over to the counter and find a towel there. I pick it up and cover myself and as I do so I see myself in the mirror. My reflection is ghostly pale my deep dark grey eyes are blood shot and puffy from crying, underneath my eyes are dark purple bags. My lip is cut open from biting on it. My face almost has the appearance to that of a corps. I sigh and walk out the door with only a towel to cover me.

I crack the door open causing it to creak slightly. I peek out of the bathroom and see another room but this room is white carpeted. The walls are also white; there is a bed in one corner of the room and a writing desk at another. The room isn't too big though, it's only twice the size of the small bathroom. I look around the room and find the same nurse waiting for my sitting on the small white bed. I look over to her and she smiles, she has a roll of bandages in her tan slim hand. "Come here sweetie." She says softly and I slowly step over to the bed and crawl onto the white covers. She takes the towel from me and starts to wrap the bandage around my wounds. When she finishes I have white bandages on my left upper arm my right thigh and from my shoulder to my abdomen. "Get dressed in these." She orders me and I do so. After she hands me the pile of clothing she walks out of the room to give me privacy. The outfit that she had given me was a small sports bra a loose white t shirt and a pair of baggy grey sweat pants. Once I finish dressing into the outfit which is a few sizes to big I start to feel drowsy. I decide to take a nap seeing as there is nothing else to do for now. I crawl under the white covers I rest my tired head on the soft pillow and drift off to sleep.

"Mom! MOM!" I scream as I run through the dense thick forest of dead trees looking left and right frantically looking for my mother. "MOM" I yell over and over again until I can't yell anymore. My knees buckle underneath me, I fall to the ground muddy and dirty as little rain drops start to fall from the cloudy dark sky. Its then I here screams, I force myself to get up, dripping with mud, I run towards the sounds and see a man beating my mother. There was blood everywhere. And….

I awoke gasping for air, covered in sweat in tears, I and look around the room to find a man next to my bed. "Hello my name is Dr. Carlisle (a/n yaaaaa uhhh I ran out of ideas!) , what's your name?" he asks with a smile on his pale face, he has bright blonde hair which is messy in a way yet neat, he has light blue eyes and his teeth are bright white a perfectly straight, and his canines are pointed sharply. He is wearing a blue button up shirt along with a tie which is plane blue and a white lab coat with brown pants and black dress shoes. (A/n he looks like Carlisle Cullen lol) I don't answer back because of my shyness and I shrink back into the covers. His smile disappears into a worried look "It's ok you don't have to be afraid I'm not going to hurt you I promise." He says friendly his voice soft and calming. "I-I'm Jane I-I think." I say quietly and unsure while shrinking deeper into the pale white covers. "Well hi Jane do you remember how you got here?" He asks his smile never leaving his face giving him a calm pleasant appearance. I shake my head slowly and shyly. "Well that's ok you're here because we want to make sure your ok." He says "Why don't you follow me I'm sure your hungry." he says and I nod I jump off the bed onto the white carpeted floor and follow him out of the soft carpeted room into the blue and white checkered hallways.

I follow him to what seems like a food court. He walks me over to an empty table and tells me to wait there until he returns. He comes back and has a small tray of food. The trays contents consist of an apple which is cut up into small bite sized pieces, a cup of water and some toast. "Try to eat that and if you're still hungry I'll get you some more." He says as he takes a seat next to me. As I eat my juicy apple slices. I look around the room which is very large with a bunch of other children but they seem to be a lot older than me. The walls are blue and the ceiling is white but there are four large windows on each wall but the wall which holds the exit. The floors are the same as the hallways blue and white checker tiles. The tables are round and speckled blue and white and are rimmed black; the seats are navy blue and plastic. The room is very noisy and busy with children. I then avert my attention back to who is keeping a watchful eye on me "I hope we can be friends" he says kindly and I nod my head and he smiles. "Well that's good."

When I finish my breakfast I follow him to another room which seems to be a play room. There is a TV a couch and a table that looks as if it is used for reading drawing or writing. I walk over to the table and sit down on one of the seats and hands me a piece of paper and pencil not saying anything so I just start to draw. I draw a picture of a man with black hair and black angel wings covering all but his head which is looking down and his hair is covering it. I label at the bottom of the picture Angel with Scabbed Wings. When I finish looks at it and says "you are an amazing artist" and. Then he hands the picture back to me and he leads me out of the room and back into my room. "You stay here and I'll be right back" he says and leaves the room closing and locking my door.

After waiting for a while I decide to go back to bed, I close my eyes and drift silently off to sleep.

Carlisle's Pov

After giving Jane a tour of the place and seeing her depressing art work I diagnose her with schizophrenia especially after seeing how she sleeps. After putting Jane back into her room I walk off to the lunch room for my break. As I step into the room I'm see Nurse Jamey and I walk up to her and tell her my diagnosis. "You can't diagnose her after you've only known her for one day especially with schizophrenia!" Nurse Jamey tells me in a you-cant-just-go-and-do-that tone her blonde hair that curves in bouncing up and down on her shoulders her blue eyes filled in rage. "Trust me I know what I'm doing" I say and she stomps off furious at me. "Jamey wait!" I yell after her chasing her down the hall of the mental facility. When I catch up to her I turn her around and say "Maybe your right, but she's obviously traumatized!" I say and she sighs "Fine I guess she's going to have to stay here longer than we thought poor girl she" she was cut off by high pitched screaming. The screams are coming from Jane's room we run to her room to find her kicking and screaming in her sleep. We unlock the room and quickly rush in; I grab her by the shoulders and shake her awake. "Jane wake up!" I say as her eyes flutter open tears streaming down her face. I sigh and think to myself "this is going to be more difficult that I thought"

Jane's pov

Running away in the woods from the man as I see him come closer and closer to me I scream loudly but trip and fall onto the muddy forest the thickness of the forest seems to make me inaudible from the rest of the world as the rain heavily hits the trees and muddy ground. The man runs closer and picks me up as I try to push away from him he holds me tighter and I scream louder trying to make him let go of me but I black out the man with black hair the one who I thought was trying to hurt me actually saved me.

I wake up to someone screaming my name and shaking me awake. "Jane wake up!" I here scream and I open my eyes slowly as I feel tears stream down my face. "Are you ok sweetie" the nurse who was the one that got me out of the white padded room asks and I nod slowly in response. "It's ok what did you dream about?" Dr. Carlisle asks in a clam voice unlike the one he was using as he was waking me up. "I-I he I ummmm" I trailed off "It's ok you don't have to tell us follow me" says but I refuse to get off of the bed because of my legs feeling so weak. "Do you want me to carry you?" he asks and I nod shyly as he picks me up bridle style. He heads it the direction of the entertainment room and sets me down on the chair and gives me a piece of paper. "Can you draw what your dream was?" he asks and I nod. I draw the man with medium length black hair wearing all black clothing with very pale skin and big red lips. The man is holding me cradling me in his arms. I draw me my eyes shut pale face and scratched skin I'm wearing my dirty tank top and my black skinny jeans. The scene around us is the woods at night as rain ours down on us.

When I finish the drawing I show it to and the nurse. I watch them scan it over. gives me a worried expression and points to the man in the picture. "Do you know who this is?" he asks me and I shake my head. "Well that's ok." He says and leads me back to my room. "How about you go back to sleep." He says and I nod and crawl back into bed falling into my world of dreams once again.

Carlisle's 's pov

Looking at the picture that Jane had just drawn I could not believe it. 1. She was an amazing artist for someone as young as her and 2. That man in the picture looks exactly like Brain Warner aka Marilyn Manson the Antichrist Superstar!. If she doesn't even know who he is then why is she dreaming about him? I ask myself. It was her father who brought her in here and who had found her in the woods not this man!Confishion took me over looking at those drawings is like looking through a window only this window is covered in fog or is more likely a door than a window but the door is locked and impenetrable. I walk her back to her room with Nurse Jamey following. I tell her to go back to sleep and I leave the room.

I walk to the lunch room with Nurse Jamey so we can discuss what we just saw her draw. When we arrive at the lunch room we sit down and talk about her drawing "How could she have possible not know who Marilyn Manson is if she drew him?" I asked Jamey and all she did was shrug "Maybe she saw a picture of him she does have an older brother and he is like her guardian more so than her dad right? So while hanging around her older brother she could have seen a picture of him." Jamey said and our conversation goes back and forth like this for a good 10 minutes but after a while we were rudely interrupted by one of the male nurses barging through the door telling us to follow him quickly to Jane's room.

Upon entering Jane's room we see her throwing herself against the walls and scrapping at the doors. I run over to the door and uncover a bottom that releases sleep gases into her room I watch through the window in horror as Jane falls to the floor unconscious.