Chapter 1: The beginning
Hi, my name is Mike Shit! (Does that say Schmidt or Shit?) OK, my name is Mike Shmidt and i am 21... Barely. Enough with the vine references. So, i got a shitty job at a pizzeria, only getting 120.50 per week, which is stupid. Well, i walked in and i saw that damn bear thing. (Wrong script?) I saw the Sexy Chicken, Fatass Bear, Purple Rabbit and Foxy... I've even created cute names! Wanna hear? [Eat a dick] Cocksuck The Chicken, Freddy Buttfuck, Bonnie the Butthole and Fucksy the Fox. Cute right? When i didn't see Foxy at his cove, i didn't really care. But when i looked at the office, there was smoke coming out. I ran to there and saw Foxy 420 blaze'n it in my office. He said, "Aye mate, wanna come smoke 'ome of me Pirate's Booty?" I thought, Why not? Then we started 420 blaze'n it in the office, until we were higher than a fucking plane.
When we heard a knock on the door, I walked over to the window and i saw Chica looking incredibly disappointing. I opened the door and she slapped me so hard, i flew on the ground. Foxy walked over to her and said, "Do you honestly think that's fuckin' funny you stupid 'ittle cunt. Go get raped by Freddy Buttfuck," Chica then proceeded to run out crying. Foxy pulled me up and we went to his pirate cove. I said, "That was a little harsh back there," Foxy looked at me and laughed his ass off. He then said, "I-Is it april fools! I don't think it is!" Then we walked to pirate cove.