I think I started this, like...shortly after I saw WALL-E, to give you an idea of how old it is. I just recently decided to complete it so...here ya go! The title was based on a Dane Cook routine.

WALL-E is (C) to Pixar. I'm sick of writing "Disney/Pixar" when Pixar is responsible for the GENIUS!

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Nothing Fights

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"Well?"

"Well?"

"What d'you think?"

"Um...I think it's...nice..."

Mary couldn't contain the scoff that escaped her, fixing John in a reprimanding glare.

"We're the first humans in centuries to return to Earth and all you can think to say is 'it's nice'?"

Hoping to come out of this ordeal without a damaged pride, John murmured back in reply, "W-well, I mean...It's kinda dirty, don't you think? And the sky's sorta an ugly color. And--"

"Men," sighed an exasperated Mary, rolling her eyes and placing her hands on her thick hips. "Always finding the stupidest things to complain about."

"Hey, that's not fair! You can't go generalizing like that when I just said I had a couple problems with this place."

"But it's Earth! The human race has been waiting...gosh, I dunno, over 700 years to come back! You should count yourself lucky we're alive to see this place after all that time!"

"You make it sound so big and important. It's just a dusty old rock!"

"Well if that's how you feel, maybe you should just crawl back into the ship and go back to being a brainless lump!"

"You know, maybe I will! 'Least then I wouldn't have to listen to this!"

"Fine!"

Turning from John, Mary stomped off in a huff, leaving him to wilt slowly from rage to regret. After a moment he released a long breath and ran a large hand through his hair, formulating his heartfelt apology for when Mary wasn't quite so angry with him.

"Joohn?"

"Oh, uh, hey Wall-E. Didn't catch ya sneaking up on me."

The small robot glanced over to Mary's retreating form, a look of questioning in his eyes.

"Maa-rrry?"

"She's fine, don't worry. People argue like this a lot...just part of being a couple, you know?"

"Oh?"

"Yep...say, uh, Wall-E?"

"Hnn?"

"You're good with the ladies, I guess...should I give her something when I say sorry? Like a gift or..."

Pondering the inquiry a moment, Wall-E whistled exuberantly and pulled out the small ring box from his cooler. He'd found it so captivating...maybe Mary would feel the same. He then slipped the small thing into John's hand, his eyes indicating a warm smile.

John marveled at the thing, recalling a small icon looking like this on his HoverChair display (it was a box with a ring popping out, if he remembered correctly). It indicated a marriage had occurred on the ship.

"Wow...ya really think I should? I mean, wow...that's a...that's a big step..."

"Mmhm!"

"I, uh...wow, okay. Maybe you're right...I mean, we have been together for a while...maybe I should...thanks, pal!"

With that, John jogged off after his love, leaving Wall-E looking on happily. They'd be alright, he thought, so long as they were together.

And he just knew Mary would love the box.