Rebecca
Hello, my name is Rebecca Chambers. My mom killed herself soon after giving birth to me, and my dad works as a security guard for the Jerry Springer show. I do my best to support me and my dad and the weird women he takes home every night, so that's why I joined S.T.A.R.S.
I have so many friends at S.T.A.R.S. They're all so nice to me. Whatever they think is fun, I think is fun. Sometimes they beat me up, but then they laugh, and if they think it's funny, I think it's funny.
Chris and Jill thought something was funny. I could tell, because they were laughing. So I laughed too. Because if they think something's funny, then I think it's funny too!
Chris
I hate Rebecca. She's so thick-headed. And a stupid bitch. And immature. And annoying. I could list a million negative things about her. But she's not worth that much time.
Jill and I think the name "Rebecca" is too long, so we call Rebecca "Shitfuck assface mother fucker" for short. But that name is actually longer than "Rebecca", so we usually just pick a profane word and refer to her as that.
"And then, she'd go 'hahahah!' and a hunter would be pissing in her eye or something and..." Jill was saying.
Me and Jill had been talking about what would happen if a hunter laid eggs in her fat ass and were vividly describing her ass blowing up in great detail, and then she'd be laughing as hunter babies flood from her ass, because we'd be laughing about it.
Rebecca joined in our audible laughter. We immediately stopped laughing and glared at her. She continued laughing for a few more seconds, then stopped. She suddenly squealed and tripped over a tree root.
I ducked underneath a tree branch and turned to Jill, hoping that my mere expression could display the distaste (to put it mildly) that I was feeling. "Why the shit did she have to come along?"
Jill shrugged. "I don't know." She suddenly stopped walking, because there was a spider web in her way. She pulled out her uzi and shot the spider, which was barely visible in the shadows of the forest. The web split and she resumed walking. "We should get rid of her," she said, jerking her head towards Rebecca.
I opened my mouth to reply, then peeked over my shoulder at Rebecca. She was pretending not to listen, but it was fairly obvious she was since she was leaning her ear dangerously over towards us and had her hand cupped behind it.
"Hey, Fuckface, you aren't" (gasp) "listening, are you?" I said with fake shock.
"Oh, NO, of COURSE not, Chris!" Rebecca replied, seeming not to notice that I could obviously tell she was.
I paused, thinking of something incredibly cruel yet deserving to say to her, but I could think of nothing, so I lamely shrugged and said "Okay." I turned to Jill again and prepared to speak once more, then suddenly turned back to Rebecca with a sudden flash of inspiration. "Listen, Shit, we're going to go this way, 'kay? Stay on the path and keep walking straight forward, until you reach the gate to the hotel, then stand there staring at it for a while."
Rebecca grinned at me, giving me a thumbs-up sign. "You got it, Chris!"
I stared blankly and turned back to Jill. Rebecca leaned far over towards us with her hand cupped behind her ear, attempting to listen.
ÒLetÕs take the shorcut,Ó I suggested quietly, and Jill nodded. We stepped off the trail and shuffled through the bushes.
Rebecca leaned far over to listen to the conversation we weren't having, but her feet remained on the trail because I told her to stay on the trail. She fell over into the bushes with a pathetic wail.
"I SAID STAY ON THE FUCKING TRAIL, ANUS!" I whirled around, then kicked a rock at her.
"I'M SORRY, ALMIGHTY CHRIS!" She sobbed, bowing.
Jill laughed.
Rebecca laughed.
I kicked another rock at Rebecca.
Jill and I kept walking.
"Let's go over here," I said suddenly, leaning against Jill and forcing towards a dim spot. I was planning on conveniently making out with her, but I accidentally rammed her into a tree.
"DICK!" She shrieked, and I felt a knee ram into my groin. It barely hurt, because my dick isn't very big (well, that's what Jill says, but I hope she's teasing), and because I was wearing a cup there, "just in case." (Hey, some zombies are pretty perverted.)
"Sorry," I mumbled, and we shuffled through the bushes away from Rebecca.
I realized the moment was lost, and we resumed our slow trudge towards the hotel.
Jill
We climbed over the fence about 30 feet to the right of Rebecca in the shadows where she couldn't see us, then we decided we had to let her in because the other squad we were meeting was expecting three of us. Bummer.
Chris and I walked up to the hotel, a distance ahead of Rebecca, like teenagers attempting to escape an embarrassing parent in public. "WAIT UP!" She hollered, running as fast as she could, which was .01 miles per hour.
Chris and I reached the door. We paused and shared a look, then I raised my fist to knock. I paused, then pulled out my gun and kicked the door open. There's nothing wrong with a flashy entrance.
Chris pulled out his gun and we jumped into the lobby, swinging our guns around the room in case there were any unpleasant beings there. Rebecca soon followed, but she didn't have a gun, so she folded her fingers into a shape of a gun and jumped out into the lobby in front of us. "EVERYBODY FREEEEZE!" She yelled. "HANDS ABOVE YOUR HE--" I raised a foot and kicked her. She yelped and flew into the wall.
We lowered our weapons. There was no one in the lobby. There was some blood, though. Actually, there was a lot of blood.
Interesting. "Well, I guess the squad died," Chris said cheerfully. "Can we kill Rebecca now?" Chris grinned at me. I didn't reply... there was something moving over by the desk. A hand slowly raised, soaked in blood, then waved to us.
I ran over to the desk and jumped over the counter with ease. There was a man laying there, the most hunkadelic stud muffin I'd ever seen. And his leg was gushing blood. I tried to ignore his studliness and bent over to examine his wound.
"He's hurt!" I yelled professionally. "We need to bandage his leg. Bring something to wrap it up with."
Chris
I jogged over to the desk and jumped over it, but my foot caught on the edge of it and I fell with an audible sound of impact.
"Ow..." I grunted, and Jill elbowed me. "Dick. Get off my back." She grabbed the strip of fabric from me and looked down at the man's leg, analyzing the wound with eyes of an expert.
The man was staring down Jill's shirt. His eyes were glazed over and his mouth was slightly open like a hypnotized fish.
A pang of anger shot through me, and I looked up at the man's eyes. I glared at him, but he didn't notice. Sitting up, I leaned over Jill and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to look at the wound, hoping my body language would let the sorry fucker that Jill was mine. "Looks bad," I said loudly, hoping he'd finally notice me.
He glanced up at me, finally, but then back down at Jill.
Jill nodded.
Jill
"You'll have to take off your pants," I said, hoping to sound professional. It was hard, since there was a devilish smile on my face.
The man looked a little nervous. He looked back and forth between me and Chris, stammering. "Um.. ummmm...."
I tilted my head way back to meet Chris's eyes. "You'll have to turn around. Better yet, go get Rebecca." Chris hesitated, then reluctantly leaped over the counter. "Now, what's your name?"
"A--Alex...Porter." His voice was deep and husky. "But...um...."
"Ah, well hello, Alex. I'm Jill Valentine." I undid his belt and pulled it off with a fluid motion. Alex jumped a bit.
"But um... I think... I'll be fine." He took a deep breath, obviously trying to clear his nervousness from his voice. "You really don't need to do this."
I looked up at him with my devilish smile again. "It's for your own good."
I unzipped his pants and looked down, and only THEN did I notice his dick protruding from his Digimon boxers.
Oh, shit.
I hesitated. What to do, what to do? I pondered the choices, but quickly, because I knew there was only one thing to do.
Chris
I sat sulking in the corner, shoving my head into the angle where the walls met so Rebecca wouldn't see my expression and bug me, even though she was unconscious.
"Oh, give it to me, uh-huh..."
I lifted my head. The voice was faint, but audible. I looked towards the counter with anger flashing through me like lightning. I stood and began to stomp over there.
"Ohhh yeah, that's it, bark. Bark louder, shove your muzzle up there, uh-huh, yeah..."
I paused and looked over to Rebecca, who was sweating and writhing in the corner. She was kind of spasming.
I looked upon her with disgust.
Rebecca
"Ohhhh yeeahhhh......" I moaned. The dog removed its cold, wet nose from my ass and smiled at me, then mounted my back and with one quick thrust of its hips it--
"WAKE UP, BITCH!"
I yelped and sat up, grabbing my nipples where Chris had given me a tittie-twister.
Chris glared at me.
"Hidey-ho, Chris!'' I said with a smile and a wave. I looked around me, suddenly remembering where I was. "Did I miss anything?"
"Did I miss anything?" Chris replied.
I didn't understand.
Chris
I sighed in annoyance and began to return to my corner. Did I do something wrong? Why was Jill suddenly rejecting me? Or was she?
"Oh...OH... OH GOD, JILL....."
I whirled around and ran towards the counter and leaped over it. Rebecca followed me, but she wasn't big enough to leap so she ran straight into the counter and fell unconscious again. My foot caught again and I fell, falling on Jill's back again. I sat up and surveyed the situation.
Jill was wrapping Alex's wound. He was wincing. "OH... IT HURTS, JILL...."
Oh. Okay. Good.
Jill
I tied a strong knot and allowed Alex to pull his pants back on. I wiped some ÒstuffÓ away from the corner of my mouth and turned to glare at Chris.
"IÕm going to get fucking back problems," I spat.
Chris opened and closed his mouth dumbly, trying to find words to say. "I.. um... is he okay now?"
I rolled my eyes and turned back to Alex.
"So what happened? It was a zombie, right?" I interrogated.
He nodded. "Yeah. The others are gone. I'm the only one left..."
As if on cue, an unfamiliar female voice echoed from the staircase: "DIE, BITCH, DIE!!" (gunshot noises) "FUCKING A! SONOFABITCH, MOTHERFUCKER!" (more gunshot noises, footsteps coming downstairs.)
Chris, Alex, and I stared.
Chris
A woman burst forth from the stairs. She leaned over and panted to catch her breath, then whirled around and shot behind her. "TAKE THAT, MOFO!" Blood sprayed from the unseen victim and splattered onto the woman.
"Uuuunnnnggg........" The victim cried. The woman shot again, apparently just for good measure, and saw us. A grin spread across her face. "ALEX!" She ran towards us.
Everything was suddenly in slow motion, like a baywatch lifeguard running through the surf. She was very.... um .... well-developed. She was very attractive, in a boyish kind of way. Her hair, the color of wheat.... her lips, the color of rubies... her eyes, like freshly chlorinated pool water... her nose, like a meatball smashed against a wall....
She fell into Alex's arms and they began to passionately make out. Damn. I enjoyed watching, though.
Jill
When they were done, Shana stuck out her hand. "I'm Shana Mathieus." I shook her hand and smiled. "I'm Jill Valentine." I motioned to Chris. "This is my partner, Chris Redfield." Chris unenthusiastically shook her hand.
"On the floor somewhere over there is our... um ... lackey, Rebecca Chambers."
Shana looked concerned. "Was she attacked?"
Chris shook her head. "No, she ran into the desk and fell unconscious."
Shana and Alex stared blankly.
"So, um, anyways," I interrupted, breaking the silence spell. "What's our mission? To blow up this hotel, right?"
Shana nodded. "But we also need a sample of the T-Virus."
"What the fuck, why?" Chris wondered aloud.
We all shrugged in unison.
"Screw that part of it." Shana said, then noticed Alex's wound and touched it delicately. "Oh, poor baby, are you okay?"
Alex nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." His voice turned professional. "We have to bring back the body of Benjamin SmithKlinely, right? Back to the PD, so they can test it and shit. Or something gay like that. He's worth an assload of cash."
"What the fuck, why?" Chris repeated.
Alex shrugged. "But we're getting paid a lot for him. He's probably in the master suite, because that's the room he was registered to."
I shrugged. "Whatever. Let's go."
We all headed up to the master suite.
Alex
I walked with my arms wrapped around Shana's waist, never wanting to let go of her again. I almost cried when I saw her be dragged away from me... wailing my name, reaching for me....
Oh, well. The point now was that she was alive and I wanted to fuck her.
"We'll check the bedroom," I said, once we entered the suite. I dragged Shana into the bedroom with me and locked the door behind us.
Chris
"WHAT'S THAT NOISE?" Rebecca said unnecessarily loudly and naively as she passed the bedroom door.
"Shh, Ass discharge, don't speak so loud!" I hushed in a voice barely above a whisper.
Rebecca pouted. "BUT I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT THAT GROANING NOISE WAS!"
"SHUT UP!" I fiercely whispered.
She reached towards the doorknob.
"It's probably a zombie, and now it's coming to kill us, thanks to you!" I snapped and began to turn away.
"OOOHH NOOOO!" Rebecca screamed, leaping back from the door as if it were electrified.
"My god! Shut up!" I yelled. Stupid bitch.
"WELL NOW WHO'S BEING LOUD?!"
I clutched my gun and the familiar fantasy of beating the crap out of Rebecca with the base of it and leaving her to die ran through my mind, but I restrained myself and walked further down the hallway. Rebecca began to follow, then for no apparent reason threw herself screaming against the wall and fell to the ground. She clutched the cloth of her pant leg and tugged it up to reveal her pale skin. Rebecca pointed to her leg without even glancing at it and looked up at me with alarmed eyes. "Chris, I'm injured! The zombies will smell my weakness and devour me!"
If the zombies were able to smell weakness, you'd be already dead, I thought. I looked down at Rebecca, who was looking up at me with a distressed expression, then glanced at her uninjured leg. "Oh no," I said unenthusiastically.
Rebecca looked up at me with an even more distressed expression and pulled up her pant leg higher. "Chris...Is that a hint of fear I sense in your voice? I see it in your eyes...the wound is bad, isn't it?"
I blinked. What the shit?
"Oh, Chris!" Rebecca wailed, tears flooding her worried eyes. "Is there any chance I'll survive?" She reached out and grabbed my pant leg. "I know you care about me, and I want you to be honest. Tell me...how bad is it?"
She was pissing me off. I kicked, hard, and she flew off of my leg with a shriek. I looked around the general area of the living room for any zombies. There was one about ten feet away, walking through the open door from the hallway, but it would take at least fifteen minutes for it to get to where they were. "Look, it's not that bad. I don't even see a wound. Now quit whining."
"Chris," Rebecca said with a sniffle, "you don't have to hide the truth from me. I can handle it, even if I am only twelve years old. I'm stronger than I look--"
Woah. Wait. What? "TWELVE?" I exclaimed. "You're TWELVE YEARS OLD?!"
Rebecca gasped. "Twelve? D-Did I say that? Um...n-no of COURSE I-I'm not twelve! I-I-I'm--" She collapsed in a sobbing heap at my feet. "Oh God, I've screwed up again...my secret is out. Yes, I am twelve..."
"Now everything makes sense, somewhat... But still, you ARE a little immature and pathetic and ...um ...NOT hot-looking."
"I'm nine," Rebecca blurted.
"You're NINE?!" I screamed. I'd always assumed that Rebecca was a "late bloomer", but how had she passed as an eighteen year-old?
"Chris, not so loudly! I don't want the others to know!"
"HEY JILL, ALEX, SHANA!" I yelled. "REBECCA IS A NINE YEAR-OLD!"
"CHRIS!" Rebecca shrieked. "WHY, WHY?! WHY DID YOU DO IT?!" She clung tighter to my leg and looked up at me as tears fell from her eyes. She paused and lowered her voice to a shaky whisper for dramatic effect. "Why?"
I fiercely kicked his leg again and she flew against the wall with a shocked expression on her face. "Chris, what's happened to you? Why are you so violent? Have you been infested with the T-Virus?!"
I guess she forgot that I normally beat the shit out of her. Maybe repeatedly bonking her head caused memory loss. I ignored her and walked down the hallway. "JILL, SHANA, WHERE ARE YOU? ALEX! EVERYBODY!"
Rebecca attempted to stand, then let out a wounded cry and collapsed on the ground. "Chris...You've hurt me badly..." she began to drag herself towards me, barely faster than the zombie that was now 9 feet away.
Jill
Mmm. He had a secret stash of cookies. I stood on tiptoe and pulled the cookie jar into my arms, then removed the lid and began to munch away.
I heard Chris calling. Damn.
I set the cookie jar down and walked into the main room, wiping crumbs from my mouth. "Yes? You called?"
Chris grinned. "Rebecca's nine years old."
I stared at Rebecca in amazement, who was looking in horror at the zombie behind her and shrieking. She was obviously trying to flee but she was going half as fast as the zombie was, which is really slow. I burst into hysteric laughter. Chris joined. So did Rebecca.
"You're not supposed to be laughing, you little shit," Chris said between laughs and kicked her into the zombie. The zombie said "Uuuunnnngggghhhhhh" and fell over, then began to devour her.
Eventually Rebecca died. Too bad.
Suddenly, screaming was heard from the bedroom. We stopped laughing and busted the locked door open. A zombie was attempting to devour a completely naked Shana.
Chris
Damn, she was hot. Jill was better, though.
I pulled out my gun and shot the zombie's head off. Shana shrieked and burst into sobs. "I was just fucking him! I don't know what haapppeeeeened...." She wailed.
"He turned into a zombie?"
Shana nodded. Her face was really puffy and red because she was crying.
"Okay. That's too bad."
She paused. "Yeah, he was bad in bed anyways." She pulled on her clothes and we began to walk out of the hotel room. Shana paused to stare at the bloody mess.
"Rebecca died," I said without expression.
"Oh."
We resumed walking.
"Wait, weren't we supposed to get Benjamin's body?" I suddenly remembered.
"You can go get it," Shana said. "I'd rather not go back in there."
Jill didnÕt look too enthused to go either.
Kind of bitchingly, I shuffled back into the room and glanced around. ÒNot here,Ó I said aloud, then paused and decided to actually look.
He was under the bed, next to a stash of porn magazines.
Jill
ÒSo when were we planning on blowing this place up?Ó I asked, getting kind of impatient.
Shana shrugged. There were tears frozen in her eyes, so I was guessing that she was feeling kind of sad about Alex.
ÒI barely knew him,Ó She blurted out spontaneously after a moment of silence. ÒI just met him last week... he was new. No one really liked him, not the guys, at least. But he was so hot...Ó She sobbed.
I rolled my eyes. ÒFuckkkk....Ó I sighed under my breath. ÒLook, death happens, all right? Sometimes it sucks, but, like in the instance of Rebecca, sometimes it doesnÕt. In this case, it doesnÕt suck, because heÕs just another person.Ó
Shana was pissed. ÒWHAT WOULD YOU DO IF CHRIS DIED?!Ó She screamed. Then she ran ditzily down the hallway.
I didnÕt have a good answer to scream after her, so I decided to yell at Chris to see if he was done. ÒCHRIS?! HURRY UP! DID YOU FIND THE BODY?Ó
Chris sounded out of breath as he replied. ÒUm... hold on, be out in a minute!Ó
...
Shana
I walked alone for a while, occasionally shooting zombies. I savored the chance to wallow in misery alone.
My feet led me to the lobby, where IÕd met everyone else. I went over to the desk, where Alex had been. Had he set the bombs down there? Out of curiosity, I checked.
No. He hadnÕt. Wait... I checked the cupboards. Yes, heÕd stashed them there. DonÕt know why, but they were there. It looked neato and high-tech. I began to fiddle with it. It made funny noises. I giggled.
The happiness felt good, so I fiddled with it some more.
Jill
Fuck. ÒCHRIS, IÕM GOING IN THERE TO GET YOU.Ó
ÒNO! IÕll... HOLD ON, just hold on!Ó
After a moment, he burst out of the room, his face red, and a trash bag in his hand.
ÒYour flyÕs unzipped,Ó I pointed out.
Ò...Thanks.Ó
ÒWhatÕs in the bag?Ó
Chris
ÒThat one guyÕs body,Ó I replied, trying to sound serious. So IÕd taken his stash of mags, so what? He was in there also. He deserved to rest in peace with hot chicks.
Footsteps were nearing. It was Shana.
ÒWE HAVE ABOUT 5 SECONDS TO GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING OR--Ó
The hotel blew up.
Not really... a really big bomb just went off and stuff flew everywhere and we started roasting alive.
Jill and I made towards the window in the hotel room when we heard/felt the explosion, and then we jumped out of it into a bush. Shana wasnÕt so smart/fortunate. WeÕd fled to the trees by the time the hotel had collapsed. Jill and I paused to look back and watch its firey death.
ÒWhy is there a hotel in the middle of nowhere?Ó She asked after a couple minutes.
ÒI donÕt know. LetÕs go find the helicopter.Ó
ÒOkay.Ó
Hello, my name is Rebecca Chambers. My mom killed herself soon after giving birth to me, and my dad works as a security guard for the Jerry Springer show. I do my best to support me and my dad and the weird women he takes home every night, so that's why I joined S.T.A.R.S.
I have so many friends at S.T.A.R.S. They're all so nice to me. Whatever they think is fun, I think is fun. Sometimes they beat me up, but then they laugh, and if they think it's funny, I think it's funny.
Chris and Jill thought something was funny. I could tell, because they were laughing. So I laughed too. Because if they think something's funny, then I think it's funny too!
Chris
I hate Rebecca. She's so thick-headed. And a stupid bitch. And immature. And annoying. I could list a million negative things about her. But she's not worth that much time.
Jill and I think the name "Rebecca" is too long, so we call Rebecca "Shitfuck assface mother fucker" for short. But that name is actually longer than "Rebecca", so we usually just pick a profane word and refer to her as that.
"And then, she'd go 'hahahah!' and a hunter would be pissing in her eye or something and..." Jill was saying.
Me and Jill had been talking about what would happen if a hunter laid eggs in her fat ass and were vividly describing her ass blowing up in great detail, and then she'd be laughing as hunter babies flood from her ass, because we'd be laughing about it.
Rebecca joined in our audible laughter. We immediately stopped laughing and glared at her. She continued laughing for a few more seconds, then stopped. She suddenly squealed and tripped over a tree root.
I ducked underneath a tree branch and turned to Jill, hoping that my mere expression could display the distaste (to put it mildly) that I was feeling. "Why the shit did she have to come along?"
Jill shrugged. "I don't know." She suddenly stopped walking, because there was a spider web in her way. She pulled out her uzi and shot the spider, which was barely visible in the shadows of the forest. The web split and she resumed walking. "We should get rid of her," she said, jerking her head towards Rebecca.
I opened my mouth to reply, then peeked over my shoulder at Rebecca. She was pretending not to listen, but it was fairly obvious she was since she was leaning her ear dangerously over towards us and had her hand cupped behind it.
"Hey, Fuckface, you aren't" (gasp) "listening, are you?" I said with fake shock.
"Oh, NO, of COURSE not, Chris!" Rebecca replied, seeming not to notice that I could obviously tell she was.
I paused, thinking of something incredibly cruel yet deserving to say to her, but I could think of nothing, so I lamely shrugged and said "Okay." I turned to Jill again and prepared to speak once more, then suddenly turned back to Rebecca with a sudden flash of inspiration. "Listen, Shit, we're going to go this way, 'kay? Stay on the path and keep walking straight forward, until you reach the gate to the hotel, then stand there staring at it for a while."
Rebecca grinned at me, giving me a thumbs-up sign. "You got it, Chris!"
I stared blankly and turned back to Jill. Rebecca leaned far over towards us with her hand cupped behind her ear, attempting to listen.
ÒLetÕs take the shorcut,Ó I suggested quietly, and Jill nodded. We stepped off the trail and shuffled through the bushes.
Rebecca leaned far over to listen to the conversation we weren't having, but her feet remained on the trail because I told her to stay on the trail. She fell over into the bushes with a pathetic wail.
"I SAID STAY ON THE FUCKING TRAIL, ANUS!" I whirled around, then kicked a rock at her.
"I'M SORRY, ALMIGHTY CHRIS!" She sobbed, bowing.
Jill laughed.
Rebecca laughed.
I kicked another rock at Rebecca.
Jill and I kept walking.
"Let's go over here," I said suddenly, leaning against Jill and forcing towards a dim spot. I was planning on conveniently making out with her, but I accidentally rammed her into a tree.
"DICK!" She shrieked, and I felt a knee ram into my groin. It barely hurt, because my dick isn't very big (well, that's what Jill says, but I hope she's teasing), and because I was wearing a cup there, "just in case." (Hey, some zombies are pretty perverted.)
"Sorry," I mumbled, and we shuffled through the bushes away from Rebecca.
I realized the moment was lost, and we resumed our slow trudge towards the hotel.
Jill
We climbed over the fence about 30 feet to the right of Rebecca in the shadows where she couldn't see us, then we decided we had to let her in because the other squad we were meeting was expecting three of us. Bummer.
Chris and I walked up to the hotel, a distance ahead of Rebecca, like teenagers attempting to escape an embarrassing parent in public. "WAIT UP!" She hollered, running as fast as she could, which was .01 miles per hour.
Chris and I reached the door. We paused and shared a look, then I raised my fist to knock. I paused, then pulled out my gun and kicked the door open. There's nothing wrong with a flashy entrance.
Chris pulled out his gun and we jumped into the lobby, swinging our guns around the room in case there were any unpleasant beings there. Rebecca soon followed, but she didn't have a gun, so she folded her fingers into a shape of a gun and jumped out into the lobby in front of us. "EVERYBODY FREEEEZE!" She yelled. "HANDS ABOVE YOUR HE--" I raised a foot and kicked her. She yelped and flew into the wall.
We lowered our weapons. There was no one in the lobby. There was some blood, though. Actually, there was a lot of blood.
Interesting. "Well, I guess the squad died," Chris said cheerfully. "Can we kill Rebecca now?" Chris grinned at me. I didn't reply... there was something moving over by the desk. A hand slowly raised, soaked in blood, then waved to us.
I ran over to the desk and jumped over the counter with ease. There was a man laying there, the most hunkadelic stud muffin I'd ever seen. And his leg was gushing blood. I tried to ignore his studliness and bent over to examine his wound.
"He's hurt!" I yelled professionally. "We need to bandage his leg. Bring something to wrap it up with."
Chris
I jogged over to the desk and jumped over it, but my foot caught on the edge of it and I fell with an audible sound of impact.
"Ow..." I grunted, and Jill elbowed me. "Dick. Get off my back." She grabbed the strip of fabric from me and looked down at the man's leg, analyzing the wound with eyes of an expert.
The man was staring down Jill's shirt. His eyes were glazed over and his mouth was slightly open like a hypnotized fish.
A pang of anger shot through me, and I looked up at the man's eyes. I glared at him, but he didn't notice. Sitting up, I leaned over Jill and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to look at the wound, hoping my body language would let the sorry fucker that Jill was mine. "Looks bad," I said loudly, hoping he'd finally notice me.
He glanced up at me, finally, but then back down at Jill.
Jill nodded.
Jill
"You'll have to take off your pants," I said, hoping to sound professional. It was hard, since there was a devilish smile on my face.
The man looked a little nervous. He looked back and forth between me and Chris, stammering. "Um.. ummmm...."
I tilted my head way back to meet Chris's eyes. "You'll have to turn around. Better yet, go get Rebecca." Chris hesitated, then reluctantly leaped over the counter. "Now, what's your name?"
"A--Alex...Porter." His voice was deep and husky. "But...um...."
"Ah, well hello, Alex. I'm Jill Valentine." I undid his belt and pulled it off with a fluid motion. Alex jumped a bit.
"But um... I think... I'll be fine." He took a deep breath, obviously trying to clear his nervousness from his voice. "You really don't need to do this."
I looked up at him with my devilish smile again. "It's for your own good."
I unzipped his pants and looked down, and only THEN did I notice his dick protruding from his Digimon boxers.
Oh, shit.
I hesitated. What to do, what to do? I pondered the choices, but quickly, because I knew there was only one thing to do.
Chris
I sat sulking in the corner, shoving my head into the angle where the walls met so Rebecca wouldn't see my expression and bug me, even though she was unconscious.
"Oh, give it to me, uh-huh..."
I lifted my head. The voice was faint, but audible. I looked towards the counter with anger flashing through me like lightning. I stood and began to stomp over there.
"Ohhh yeah, that's it, bark. Bark louder, shove your muzzle up there, uh-huh, yeah..."
I paused and looked over to Rebecca, who was sweating and writhing in the corner. She was kind of spasming.
I looked upon her with disgust.
Rebecca
"Ohhhh yeeahhhh......" I moaned. The dog removed its cold, wet nose from my ass and smiled at me, then mounted my back and with one quick thrust of its hips it--
"WAKE UP, BITCH!"
I yelped and sat up, grabbing my nipples where Chris had given me a tittie-twister.
Chris glared at me.
"Hidey-ho, Chris!'' I said with a smile and a wave. I looked around me, suddenly remembering where I was. "Did I miss anything?"
"Did I miss anything?" Chris replied.
I didn't understand.
Chris
I sighed in annoyance and began to return to my corner. Did I do something wrong? Why was Jill suddenly rejecting me? Or was she?
"Oh...OH... OH GOD, JILL....."
I whirled around and ran towards the counter and leaped over it. Rebecca followed me, but she wasn't big enough to leap so she ran straight into the counter and fell unconscious again. My foot caught again and I fell, falling on Jill's back again. I sat up and surveyed the situation.
Jill was wrapping Alex's wound. He was wincing. "OH... IT HURTS, JILL...."
Oh. Okay. Good.
Jill
I tied a strong knot and allowed Alex to pull his pants back on. I wiped some ÒstuffÓ away from the corner of my mouth and turned to glare at Chris.
"IÕm going to get fucking back problems," I spat.
Chris opened and closed his mouth dumbly, trying to find words to say. "I.. um... is he okay now?"
I rolled my eyes and turned back to Alex.
"So what happened? It was a zombie, right?" I interrogated.
He nodded. "Yeah. The others are gone. I'm the only one left..."
As if on cue, an unfamiliar female voice echoed from the staircase: "DIE, BITCH, DIE!!" (gunshot noises) "FUCKING A! SONOFABITCH, MOTHERFUCKER!" (more gunshot noises, footsteps coming downstairs.)
Chris, Alex, and I stared.
Chris
A woman burst forth from the stairs. She leaned over and panted to catch her breath, then whirled around and shot behind her. "TAKE THAT, MOFO!" Blood sprayed from the unseen victim and splattered onto the woman.
"Uuuunnnnggg........" The victim cried. The woman shot again, apparently just for good measure, and saw us. A grin spread across her face. "ALEX!" She ran towards us.
Everything was suddenly in slow motion, like a baywatch lifeguard running through the surf. She was very.... um .... well-developed. She was very attractive, in a boyish kind of way. Her hair, the color of wheat.... her lips, the color of rubies... her eyes, like freshly chlorinated pool water... her nose, like a meatball smashed against a wall....
She fell into Alex's arms and they began to passionately make out. Damn. I enjoyed watching, though.
Jill
When they were done, Shana stuck out her hand. "I'm Shana Mathieus." I shook her hand and smiled. "I'm Jill Valentine." I motioned to Chris. "This is my partner, Chris Redfield." Chris unenthusiastically shook her hand.
"On the floor somewhere over there is our... um ... lackey, Rebecca Chambers."
Shana looked concerned. "Was she attacked?"
Chris shook her head. "No, she ran into the desk and fell unconscious."
Shana and Alex stared blankly.
"So, um, anyways," I interrupted, breaking the silence spell. "What's our mission? To blow up this hotel, right?"
Shana nodded. "But we also need a sample of the T-Virus."
"What the fuck, why?" Chris wondered aloud.
We all shrugged in unison.
"Screw that part of it." Shana said, then noticed Alex's wound and touched it delicately. "Oh, poor baby, are you okay?"
Alex nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." His voice turned professional. "We have to bring back the body of Benjamin SmithKlinely, right? Back to the PD, so they can test it and shit. Or something gay like that. He's worth an assload of cash."
"What the fuck, why?" Chris repeated.
Alex shrugged. "But we're getting paid a lot for him. He's probably in the master suite, because that's the room he was registered to."
I shrugged. "Whatever. Let's go."
We all headed up to the master suite.
Alex
I walked with my arms wrapped around Shana's waist, never wanting to let go of her again. I almost cried when I saw her be dragged away from me... wailing my name, reaching for me....
Oh, well. The point now was that she was alive and I wanted to fuck her.
"We'll check the bedroom," I said, once we entered the suite. I dragged Shana into the bedroom with me and locked the door behind us.
Chris
"WHAT'S THAT NOISE?" Rebecca said unnecessarily loudly and naively as she passed the bedroom door.
"Shh, Ass discharge, don't speak so loud!" I hushed in a voice barely above a whisper.
Rebecca pouted. "BUT I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT THAT GROANING NOISE WAS!"
"SHUT UP!" I fiercely whispered.
She reached towards the doorknob.
"It's probably a zombie, and now it's coming to kill us, thanks to you!" I snapped and began to turn away.
"OOOHH NOOOO!" Rebecca screamed, leaping back from the door as if it were electrified.
"My god! Shut up!" I yelled. Stupid bitch.
"WELL NOW WHO'S BEING LOUD?!"
I clutched my gun and the familiar fantasy of beating the crap out of Rebecca with the base of it and leaving her to die ran through my mind, but I restrained myself and walked further down the hallway. Rebecca began to follow, then for no apparent reason threw herself screaming against the wall and fell to the ground. She clutched the cloth of her pant leg and tugged it up to reveal her pale skin. Rebecca pointed to her leg without even glancing at it and looked up at me with alarmed eyes. "Chris, I'm injured! The zombies will smell my weakness and devour me!"
If the zombies were able to smell weakness, you'd be already dead, I thought. I looked down at Rebecca, who was looking up at me with a distressed expression, then glanced at her uninjured leg. "Oh no," I said unenthusiastically.
Rebecca looked up at me with an even more distressed expression and pulled up her pant leg higher. "Chris...Is that a hint of fear I sense in your voice? I see it in your eyes...the wound is bad, isn't it?"
I blinked. What the shit?
"Oh, Chris!" Rebecca wailed, tears flooding her worried eyes. "Is there any chance I'll survive?" She reached out and grabbed my pant leg. "I know you care about me, and I want you to be honest. Tell me...how bad is it?"
She was pissing me off. I kicked, hard, and she flew off of my leg with a shriek. I looked around the general area of the living room for any zombies. There was one about ten feet away, walking through the open door from the hallway, but it would take at least fifteen minutes for it to get to where they were. "Look, it's not that bad. I don't even see a wound. Now quit whining."
"Chris," Rebecca said with a sniffle, "you don't have to hide the truth from me. I can handle it, even if I am only twelve years old. I'm stronger than I look--"
Woah. Wait. What? "TWELVE?" I exclaimed. "You're TWELVE YEARS OLD?!"
Rebecca gasped. "Twelve? D-Did I say that? Um...n-no of COURSE I-I'm not twelve! I-I-I'm--" She collapsed in a sobbing heap at my feet. "Oh God, I've screwed up again...my secret is out. Yes, I am twelve..."
"Now everything makes sense, somewhat... But still, you ARE a little immature and pathetic and ...um ...NOT hot-looking."
"I'm nine," Rebecca blurted.
"You're NINE?!" I screamed. I'd always assumed that Rebecca was a "late bloomer", but how had she passed as an eighteen year-old?
"Chris, not so loudly! I don't want the others to know!"
"HEY JILL, ALEX, SHANA!" I yelled. "REBECCA IS A NINE YEAR-OLD!"
"CHRIS!" Rebecca shrieked. "WHY, WHY?! WHY DID YOU DO IT?!" She clung tighter to my leg and looked up at me as tears fell from her eyes. She paused and lowered her voice to a shaky whisper for dramatic effect. "Why?"
I fiercely kicked his leg again and she flew against the wall with a shocked expression on her face. "Chris, what's happened to you? Why are you so violent? Have you been infested with the T-Virus?!"
I guess she forgot that I normally beat the shit out of her. Maybe repeatedly bonking her head caused memory loss. I ignored her and walked down the hallway. "JILL, SHANA, WHERE ARE YOU? ALEX! EVERYBODY!"
Rebecca attempted to stand, then let out a wounded cry and collapsed on the ground. "Chris...You've hurt me badly..." she began to drag herself towards me, barely faster than the zombie that was now 9 feet away.
Jill
Mmm. He had a secret stash of cookies. I stood on tiptoe and pulled the cookie jar into my arms, then removed the lid and began to munch away.
I heard Chris calling. Damn.
I set the cookie jar down and walked into the main room, wiping crumbs from my mouth. "Yes? You called?"
Chris grinned. "Rebecca's nine years old."
I stared at Rebecca in amazement, who was looking in horror at the zombie behind her and shrieking. She was obviously trying to flee but she was going half as fast as the zombie was, which is really slow. I burst into hysteric laughter. Chris joined. So did Rebecca.
"You're not supposed to be laughing, you little shit," Chris said between laughs and kicked her into the zombie. The zombie said "Uuuunnnngggghhhhhh" and fell over, then began to devour her.
Eventually Rebecca died. Too bad.
Suddenly, screaming was heard from the bedroom. We stopped laughing and busted the locked door open. A zombie was attempting to devour a completely naked Shana.
Chris
Damn, she was hot. Jill was better, though.
I pulled out my gun and shot the zombie's head off. Shana shrieked and burst into sobs. "I was just fucking him! I don't know what haapppeeeeened...." She wailed.
"He turned into a zombie?"
Shana nodded. Her face was really puffy and red because she was crying.
"Okay. That's too bad."
She paused. "Yeah, he was bad in bed anyways." She pulled on her clothes and we began to walk out of the hotel room. Shana paused to stare at the bloody mess.
"Rebecca died," I said without expression.
"Oh."
We resumed walking.
"Wait, weren't we supposed to get Benjamin's body?" I suddenly remembered.
"You can go get it," Shana said. "I'd rather not go back in there."
Jill didnÕt look too enthused to go either.
Kind of bitchingly, I shuffled back into the room and glanced around. ÒNot here,Ó I said aloud, then paused and decided to actually look.
He was under the bed, next to a stash of porn magazines.
Jill
ÒSo when were we planning on blowing this place up?Ó I asked, getting kind of impatient.
Shana shrugged. There were tears frozen in her eyes, so I was guessing that she was feeling kind of sad about Alex.
ÒI barely knew him,Ó She blurted out spontaneously after a moment of silence. ÒI just met him last week... he was new. No one really liked him, not the guys, at least. But he was so hot...Ó She sobbed.
I rolled my eyes. ÒFuckkkk....Ó I sighed under my breath. ÒLook, death happens, all right? Sometimes it sucks, but, like in the instance of Rebecca, sometimes it doesnÕt. In this case, it doesnÕt suck, because heÕs just another person.Ó
Shana was pissed. ÒWHAT WOULD YOU DO IF CHRIS DIED?!Ó She screamed. Then she ran ditzily down the hallway.
I didnÕt have a good answer to scream after her, so I decided to yell at Chris to see if he was done. ÒCHRIS?! HURRY UP! DID YOU FIND THE BODY?Ó
Chris sounded out of breath as he replied. ÒUm... hold on, be out in a minute!Ó
...
Shana
I walked alone for a while, occasionally shooting zombies. I savored the chance to wallow in misery alone.
My feet led me to the lobby, where IÕd met everyone else. I went over to the desk, where Alex had been. Had he set the bombs down there? Out of curiosity, I checked.
No. He hadnÕt. Wait... I checked the cupboards. Yes, heÕd stashed them there. DonÕt know why, but they were there. It looked neato and high-tech. I began to fiddle with it. It made funny noises. I giggled.
The happiness felt good, so I fiddled with it some more.
Jill
Fuck. ÒCHRIS, IÕM GOING IN THERE TO GET YOU.Ó
ÒNO! IÕll... HOLD ON, just hold on!Ó
After a moment, he burst out of the room, his face red, and a trash bag in his hand.
ÒYour flyÕs unzipped,Ó I pointed out.
Ò...Thanks.Ó
ÒWhatÕs in the bag?Ó
Chris
ÒThat one guyÕs body,Ó I replied, trying to sound serious. So IÕd taken his stash of mags, so what? He was in there also. He deserved to rest in peace with hot chicks.
Footsteps were nearing. It was Shana.
ÒWE HAVE ABOUT 5 SECONDS TO GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING OR--Ó
The hotel blew up.
Not really... a really big bomb just went off and stuff flew everywhere and we started roasting alive.
Jill and I made towards the window in the hotel room when we heard/felt the explosion, and then we jumped out of it into a bush. Shana wasnÕt so smart/fortunate. WeÕd fled to the trees by the time the hotel had collapsed. Jill and I paused to look back and watch its firey death.
ÒWhy is there a hotel in the middle of nowhere?Ó She asked after a couple minutes.
ÒI donÕt know. LetÕs go find the helicopter.Ó
ÒOkay.Ó