A/N: This is the sequel to Of Greetings and Goodbyes, and it's probably best that you read that first so that you know what's going on. I'm not sure yet where this is going, so, bear with me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
I sat on the couch, watching Spence as he paced from living room to his office, to the bedroom, to the kitchen, and then back to the living room, repeating the routine as he quietly snapped his fingers in thought. He had his messenger bag across his chest, looking through it absentmindedly before deciding to return to his office in search of some random book or notebook or paper, and then returned yet again in frustration.
"Spencer." I say quietly, following his every move as I sat calmly. He continued to pace, however, and finally I stood and blocked his way into the living room. When he turned to return to the room he had just left, I grabbed his shoulders and leveled my head to look him in the eye. He blinked rapidly a few times as he gathered his thoughts and realized his mania and finally made eye contact as well.
"There's nothing for you to worry about, we're just going back to work today, okay? It's been two months, but you've been doin' great, and you'll be fine, I'll be there the entire time."
Spencer bit his bottom lip and sighed quietly, looking down. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and wrapped his arms around himself, exactly how I had seen his mother do during all the times we had visited, just how he did so many times in the past...
"What if I... You know..."
"Spencer, baby, nothing's going to happen to you. The medication has helped tremendously, right? You haven't heard any noises or voices you haven't told me about?"
Spencer slowly shook his head and chewed on his lip. "I don't know if I should go back..."
"You belong with us, Spencer. You'll be fine."
0-0-0
I stopped Spencer before we turned the corner to enter the bullpen.
"You ready, babe?"
Spencer placed his hands in his pants pockets and nodded, chewing on his bottom lip as I turned and opened the glass doors leading to the bullpen. When I walked in with Spencer trailing not far behind, we found each desk occupied by their accompanying special agent.
Prentiss looked up and grinned as soon as she realized who had walked in, and JJ and Garcia soon found their way into the bullpen once they heard Prentiss give an enthusiastic "Reid! It's so great to see you!"
After giant hugs from Garcia and a small kiss on the cheek from JJ, Spencer was lead away to his desk by delicate hands, sat down in his chair that was pulled out, and handed a fresh cup of coffee.
"Guys?" Spencer finally whispered, looking up at the three girls who were not-so-subtly hovering.
"Yeah, Reid?" Garcia asked in her Mother Hen tone of voice as she stood up, ready to fetch whatever was needed.
"I'm not going to break."
Prentiss broke into a grin then and looked to Garcia. "Sorry, Reid."
Garcia kissed two of her fingers and then placed them on Spencer's forehead. "Lemme know if you need anything, genius boy."
As they made their way back to their own desks and offices, Spencer looked over at me with a sad look as I sat down behind my own. I winked at him as Hotch came out of his office with a hurried "Good to see you, Reid." as he made his way to the coffee machine. Knowing Hotch, he was trying to make things as normal as he could.
Spencer lifted a file folder from the top of his pile and began working on his paper work. After a while, he began to fall back into his old routine and within three and a half hours, he was already done and sitting there with a bored expression across his face.
Prentiss lifted her head from her own paper work and raised an eyebrow in my direction as we both watched as Spencer reorganized his desk and drawers, read two books, and then finally slouched down in his chair with his legs crossed under himself. Finally, he noticed us watching him and he frowned, showing that innocent, kid-like expression of his that I hadn't seen in months.
"What?" Spencer asked innocently. He began chewing on his bottom lip as he thought, no longer paying attention to the two us, and for a second, I interpreted that now familiar action as the possibility that maybe Spencer was hallucinating...
Abruptly, Spencer stood, causing his chair to slowly spin as he made his way up the stairs and to Hotch's office where he paused and knocked quietly. I faintly heard Hotch tell Spence to enter, but then the door closed.
0-0-0
"Hey, Hotch..." Reid said quietly, walking in and shutting the door behind him. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he slowly made his way over to my desk, eyes darting all over the place as if he was nervous.
I placed my pen down on top of the paper work I was working on and looked at him expectantly, trying to keep my expression soft.
"I, uh... I finished all of my paper work..."
I nodded. "Good. Have a seat, Reid." Reid looked up then, almost as if he was shocked, but sat down in the chair on the other side of my desk.
"I just want to know how you've been, and how you feel about being back at work. We should talk about things."
Reid looked down to his knees, wrapped his arms around his torso, and swallowed hard.
"Actually, I uhm... I don't think I should be in the field for a while... I think maybe..." Reid looked up again and I raised my head just a fraction of an inch, letting him know that I was listening, and listening carefully. "Maybe I should just stay in the office with Garcia or something... Work on victimology and geographical profiles..." A paranoid schizophrenic can't be in the field went without saying. They both knew it, but Reid needed his job, and the FBI needed Reid.
I took in his words and nodded. "If you think that's best."
Reid's eyes narrowed and for a quick second, he looked annoyed. "I know that's best, Hotch. You know it, too."
I didn't say anything as I clenched my jaw and made sure that I looked approachable. In the last two months, I had done my share of research on paranoid schizophrenia; Reid was family. We needed to know how to help him, he needed us. I knew what could set things off. Reid relaxed then and lowered his eyes.
"How have you been feeling?"
Reid shrugged and then sighed. "I've been better." He answered, looking up and offering a small, sad smile. That smile of his pulled at my heart strings, and for a second, I could almost catch the smallest glimpse of our old Spencer Reid...
Reid's face hardened as he thought and looked back down. "My doctors got my medications straightened out, the dosages and everything... I haven't experienced anymore auditory hallucinations in a while... It keeps me up at night, though, if I forget to take them..."
We remained quiet for a few minutes, but it was strangely nice. I examined his face, his hair, the dark circles under his eyes, his obvious aging, and I couldn't help but feel the damn nostalgia.
After a few minutes, Reid looked back up at me, looking confident. "I need this job, Hotch."