Note1: Technically, this is a crossover between The Vampire Diaries and The Lost Boys.
Note2: This is a sequel(?) to Vampire Family Feud (which is a Twilight/The Vampire Diaries Crossover).
Note3: Please read and enjoy.
-Gemma
We open on dancing GSN logo
Announcer: You're watching the Game Show Network.
Cut to game show set, each family posed behind their podiums
Announcer: It's time for another "Vampire Family Feud"! Hailing from Santa Carla, California; Our challengers: The Lost Boys: Max, Marko, Paul, Dwayne and David.
And today, they'll be playing against our returning champions. From Mystic Falls, Virginia; Let's hear it for The Petrova-Salvatore Family: Katherine, Stefan, Elena, Damon and Caroline!
And now let's welcome our host... Ryan Seacrest!
Ryan walks in and takes center stage, continuously smiling. He seems to shine.
"Hello, welcome to "Vampire Family Feud", I'm Ryan Seacrest," the grinning celebrity says as he winks at the camera. There is an uncanny sparkle to his face.
The audience cheers.
"Now everyone in our audience and those playing at home," Ryan says as he turns his head, so he's looking over his shoulder into the camera. "You may notice a few changes since our last episode. First, I am now a vampire…"
"WE LOVE YOU RYAN!" a group of fangirls scream from the front row.
"I love you too." Ryan waves to them.
They jump up and down hugging each other.
"As I was saying," Ryan continues. "The network has renegotiated my contract. And it's now official: I will be hosting Dick Clarks' Rocking New Year's Eve until the end of time!"
The audience roars with glee!
"Thank you. Thank you," Ryan smiles at the crowd. "But it's not all about me. It's about our contestants, who are here to….," he pauses dramatically. "PLAY THE FEUD!"
"First up to the podium: Katherine and Max."
"Come on over," Ryan says to them. Max pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and saunters forward. Katherine gives Ryan a wide grin, swaying her hips side to side as she moves toward him.
"Hi Ryan," Katherine says cozying up for a hug.
"Katherine," Ryan says stoically as he pats her shoulder.
"Welcome to the show," Ryan greets the two contestants. "Max, why don't you tell us what you do for a living?"
"I am a small business owner," Max tells Ryan.
"Wonderful," Ryan comments. "It's nice to meet another vampire who actually works for a living." He looks condescendingly at The Petrova- Salvatore Family.
"I own a Boarding House," Damon snorts at the host.
"Actually, Elena owns the Boarding House," Stefan reminds his brother.
"I volunteer for several charitable causes," Caroline chirps excitedly.
"Wonderful," the host nods in approval.
"Spending full moons with Tyler Lockwood isn't exactly a charitable cause, Caroline," Damon tells the blonde beside him.
"Shut up, Damon," Caroline hisses, as she continues to smile at Ryan Seacrest.
"Katherine and Max are you ready?" the host asks the heads of household.
"Yes," Max answers placing a hand next to the buzzer.
"I'm always ready," Katherine flutters her eyelashes.
"LET'S PLAY THE FEUD!" Ryan says as he takes out a new cue card.
"One hundred humans surveyed, top six answers on the board."
A haze drifts across the stage, engulfing Max, Ryan and Katherine. Ryan covers his mouth with the card as he begins to cough. He fans his forearm in front of him to clear the air. "Who's smoking?" he gasps.
The camera pans over to The Lost Boys podium where Marko, Paul, Dwayne and David all have lit cigarettes hanging from their mouths.
"This is a smoke free set," Ryan tells them. Someone runs out from backstage with an ashtray. Marko and Paul extinguish their cigarettes in it. Dwayne waits for his turn. David is still smoking.
"I told you to behave," Max growls at him.
"Not like it's going to kill him," David mutters and takes one more lengthy puff and then tosses his cigarette butt to the floor, grinding it out with his boot. Max's lips curl in anger.
The camera returns to center stage. Ryan stands poised with his cue card.
"One hundred humans surveyed, top six answers on the board," he repeats. "Tell me an announcement you made that startled your parents."
Katherine's and Max's hands both slam down on the buzzer. The podium on the Salvatore side lights up, indicating Katherine rang in first.
"I'm pregnant!" she tells Ryan. "And it's yours," she adds with a salicious smirk.
"Ha Ha," Ryan says dryly. "Show me 'I'm pregnant'."
The number one spot flips over.
"Looks like we're going to the Petrova-Salvatore Family," the host says.
Ryan and Katherine walk to stage right where the rest of the family is waiting.
"Stefan," Ryan greets him. "How's the afterlife?"
"Excellent," Stefan answers as he entwines his fingers with Elena's.
"So can you tell me an announcement you made that startled your parents?"
"I'm gay," Stefan says to Ryan.
"Like you needed to announce that," Damon says. "Anyone would be able to tell just by looking at that hair."
Stefan's brow creases, but he doesn't reply to his brother's comment.
"Stefan's not really gay, is he?" Caroline asks.
"NO," Elena and Katherine both answer simultaneously as Damon nods 'yes' to the blond beside him. Elena slaps Damon's arm.
"Show me 'I'm gay'." Ryan says.
The number five spot flips over.
Katherine hugs Stefan while Elena watches warily.
"E-lay-na," Ryan says leaning heavily on her podium. "How is my favorite Doppelganger?"
"I'm great Ryan," Elena smiles.
"So can you tell me an announcement you made that startled your parents?"
"How about 'I totaled the car'?"
"Good answer, Elena." Caroline claps.
"Sound like a winner," Ryan turns to the board. "Show me 'totaled the car'."
BUZZZZZZZZZ
The first red strike appears.
"I thought it would be up there," Elena frowns.
"Me too," Ryan agrees.
"Damon," the host moves to the slot. "Tell me an announcement you made that startled your parents."
"I quit the Army," Damon replies.
Stefan glances sideways at Katherine.
"Don't look at me like that," Katherine scoffs. "It's not my fault he deserted the war."
"Which war?" Ryan asks Damon.
"Civil," Damon shrugs.
"He was in the Confederate Army," Stefan explains.
"And you deserted?"
"He doesn't like to lose," Katherine leans forward looking down the row toward Damon. "At anything."
"You quit because you were on the losing side?" Caroline crosses her arms.
"NO! I deserted because I didn't believe in the cause!" Damon is getting angry.
"Show me I'm a deserter!" Ryan announces.
BUZZZZZZZZZZ
Another red strike appears.
Ryan moves to the last spot at the Salvatore podium.
"Caroline," he reads from a cue card. "You are taking Jeremy's place today."
"Yes, Ryan." Caroline beams.
"Why don't you explain to our audience why?"
Caroline turns to the camera and brushes her hair back off her shoulders. The she brushes it forward again. "All family members have to be a vampire-blood relative of the head of household. Katherine made Stefan and Damon. And Damon made me. Elena is a Petrova Doppelganger. "
"Thank you, Caroline." Ryan changes cue cards. "Your family has two strikes, but four answers remain."
Caroline nods.
"If you get this right, your family stays alive. If not, The Lost Boys will have a chance to steal."
The camera pans to the challengers. Max is standing up straight, on alert. Marko is picking at the beads on his jacket. Paul's and Dwayne's fists are linked are they wage a thumb war against each other. David is sitting on the podium, legs dangling a few inches above the floor. His lips press into an eerie smile as the camera swing his way.
Ryan shudders.
"Caroline," he asks. "Can you tell me an announcement you made that startled your parents?"
"I maxed out my credit card," Caroline winces, biting her lip.
"That's strike three," Damon groans from beside her.
"Show me "Maxed out the credit cards!"
BUZZZZZZZ
A third red 'X' appears.
"We're going to The Lost Boys for the steal." Ryan walks across center stage to David.
"Tell me an announcement you made that startled your parents."
"Killed the neighbors," David replies.
"uh, okay." Ryan clears his throat uncomfortably and moves to Dwayne.
Dwayne does not reply. He just laughs.
Ryan moves to next member of the family.
"Joined a cult," Paul replies.
"Wow," Ryan blinks in disbelief and moves to Marko.
"I'm a vampire."
"My parents weren't thrilled about that either." Ryan pats the space in front of Marko.
"Max, it's up to you," Ryan tells the tall vampire. "Your family gave you some…answers. You can go with any of them or go out on your own."
Max leans forward looking over his family, who are oddly quiet. "I'm going to go out on my own, Ryan," he tells the host. "My answer is I'm getting married."
"…again," David coughs into a gloved fist.
Marko, Paul and Dwayne all laugh until they are silenced by an evil glare from Max.
"Show me "getting married." Ryan calls out.
The number two spot flips over and reads "Engaged/Eloped".
The Lost Boys clap slowly, unenthusiastically. Max pushes his glasses up his nose again.
"Show me number three." Ryan points to the board.
"Quit school/College," the audience reads.
"Number four."
"Moving away," the audience reads.
"And number six."
"Joined the Military," the audience reads.
"I SAID that!" Damon shouts.
"No, that's not what you said." Elena looks at him.
"You said 'deserted the military'," Stefan reminds him.
"Deserted. Joined," Damon muses. "Is there really a difference?"
"Yeah," Paul yells across the set. "This difference is that WE won and you…"
"SUCK!" Marko, Dwayne and David finish grabbing themselves between their legs.
Damon moves to hurdle the podium, Caroline barely holds him back.
"uhhhhh," Ryan looks around the set hastily.
"Stay tuned…"
Damon breaks free from Caroline and rushes forward.
"….there's more…"
Stefan slips in front of Damon, grasping his shirt.
"…Feud, coming up…"
David hops down from his seat on the podium and advances.
"…hopefully," Ryan finishes weakly.
So...any interest in more chapters?