The Impossible Call

Ring ring! Ring ring! Eleven runs into his TARDIS after having a party in the 51st century with River Song.

ELEVEN: Oooh! I'm on call! He runs to the console unit. It cuts out just before he can reach it. Oh Bugger! I missed it! He checks the messages, secretly hoping for some kind of distress call from the distant past or future. He plays the message and immediately steps back and frowns with despair as he hears the voice on the other line. It was himself. But from the past.

TEN: Oh I do love a good prank call Rose. Ooh, I didn't realise I was already leaving a voice-mail. Oops! Well I'm the Doctor and I am very drunk right now. Got my sunnies on which can also be some really smart specs if I might add. Got one of my many brilliant ties tied round my head. I'm just having a good old dance to Best Song Ever by a lovely group of boys called One Direction. Do you know? Right now. They're nobodies. But me. I being a rather fantastic time-traveller can access their music from the earth year 2006, even though they release it seven years later! And they don't even know themselves that they're gonna make this song! Ha! Isn't that great! Rose sighed and shook her head. Eleven half-smiled.

ELEVEN: I remember this…

ROSE: She snatches the phone from ten. I'm terribly sorry about this.

Eleven clutches his heart and closes his eyes in remembrance of the old days.

Ten changes the song to Hit me with your rhythm stick and starts banging the TARDIS with his hammer, rocking his head up and down.

TEN: Ian Dury & the Blockheads! Classic! Anyway, this was supposed to be a brilliantly devised prank call. But I've gone and flunked it up, haven't I?

ROSE: Yes, you have!

ELEVEN: He paused the voice-mail as he could barely listen to any more before his logical instincts kicked in. How did he even get my number? I mean, I know he's me and I can near enough do anything. But still. This is just impossible. He scans the phone with his sonic. Red Sparks fly out of it as the TARDIS shudders and queasily rejects the scan. Ooh, sorry dear! Eleven rubs the TARDIS better and continues to listen.

TEN: Well. I'll bid you adieu kind sir… or madam, whoever the hell you are. I and my blondie of course are gonna go do some extraordinary stuff of legend. So take care and try not to, I don't know, get on the wrong side of a Slitheen or something. But if you do do that then… Oh I said do do! Hahahaha! Rose gave him a look as if to say stop being such an idiot. He clears his throat. Anyway, just wave some pickled eggs around it. That should scare it off. Ok, ok. I'm going now. He puts the phone down but drunkenly forgets to put it back on the receiver. He starts singing Hit me with your rhythm stick while spinning Rose around.

ROSE: It's still on ya know.

TEN: Is it? Right. Ten picks up the phone. How embarrassing is this? I left the bloody phone on! This is really goodbye now. I really am a busy Timelord! BYE! Ten hangs up.

Amy and Rory enter the console room, unaware of what just happened. Eleven raises his head, acknowledging their presence.

ELEVEN: Ponds. C'mere. Amy and Roy look at each in confusion and then at the doctor.

AMY: She whispers to Rory. I can read all The Doctor's faces. And right about now, its reading emptiness and heart wrench.

Eleven stretches his arms out, places his head on the Pond's shoulders and hugs them. He reminds himself of how precious they are to him and holds on tight.