A/N: I like angst. Keeps me going. I don't like one shots, yet here I am, making one. How disappointing. Anyway, I haven't watched Invader Zim for years, so sorry if anything is wrong.
Warnings: Contains Character Death, suicide, Dib OOC-ness, Shonen-ai
Disclaimer:Now really, if I owned it, would I be writing fan fiction?

He doesn't love me, he can't love me. I'm unlovable.

I can feel my face twist into a smirk as the thought crosses my mind. Why would he love me? I've done nothing but try and kill him since he came, and now I want him to love me?

I can feel the tears start again, feel them trying to escape, but I promised myself that I wouldn't cry over him anymore, that he wasn't worth it. Who am I trying to kid? Of course he's worth it. I love him, I fucking love him!

I can feel the anger rise again, the hatred aimed at myself for letting this happen, for letting myself become this vulnerable. I couldn't tell him how I felt, he wouldn't understand. He's not even human and he'll never see me as anything more than an obstacle. He'll never view me with anything but contempt.

I can feel my hand shake as I pushed the cold metal further into my skin, the pain that followed a brief respite from the internal anguish I continuously suffer. The blood gushes out from the cut on my wrist, staining my clothes before dripping down to the tiles, where they'll forever leave a mark, a symbol of my pitiful existence.

I can feel myself laugh as the pain subsides, a high pitched, hollow laugh of one who has nothing left to laugh at.

I can feel myself hit the floor, the pain not registering with my murky senses, the world spinning as everything is turned on its side.

I can feel my head throb as I hear my father's voice tell me I took the coward's way out, that I should have fought.

I can feel the tears my sister will spill for my death, even if she'd never admit it.

I can feel the ringing in my ear as he proclaims victory.

But it doesn't matter, whether he won and I lost. Because I love Zim, and I always will.

Read and Review, my lovelies!