It had been so long since I've been at the Cave, what with the new responsibilities in Blüdhaven I'd taken on. Plus all the heat Batman has be drilling me with. I sighed and activated the metal door to my room. It was dark until I turned on the light. I smiled. It was still as normal as ever. I walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. I pulled up my holo-computer and scanned through old Gotham case files to see if there was a match to any of the recent crimes in Blüdhaven. Drug rings, robberies, blackmailing, kidnappings, all stereotypical stuff. I sighed and decided to work on my essay for school, entitled: The Biology of Aliens. As I continued to type I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the fight I had with Batman last night. He just couldn't let it go could he? Accept the fact that I'm 17 now; and I can't be his protégé forever. That I don't want to be him. I released a broken sigh and closed my eyes. I felt weak. And I hated it. Why did it bother me so much?
"Robin?" I snapped my head up to find Zatanna standing in the doorway with a worried expression on her face. I didn't even notice she was there. I deactivated my wrist computer and quickly put my façade back on.
"Hey Zee." I said quietly. She walked over to the bed and sat down beside me. Her cerulean eyes glittered as she stared at me. I didn't realize how much I missed her.
"Are… you okay?" She asked me softly while she placed a hand on my shoulder. I smiled weakly and nodded my head. She continued to look at me. She could tell I was lying. I sighed and lowered my head.
"Listen Zatanna, I wanted to tell you and the team sooner but I didn't know how to." I started. This was going to be hard to admit, especially to her. I took a deep breath and stared into her eyes.
"I-I'm leaving the Dynamic Duo gig, and I've decided to go solo" Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn't speak. I fell back onto the bed and rested my head on the pillow.
"Lately me and Bats have been arguing." I answered her silent question. I sighed and dug the heels of my hands into my eyes. She leaned back with me and placed her head on my chest. She didn't have to say anything to make me feel right again, all she had to do was give me her presence and comfort and everything would be alright.
"I-I don't know what to do Zee." I said defeated. She was the sole person who I ever showed my true self too; and only she knew my silent battles. She was the only one who could take off my real mask. She gazed into my eyes that were concealed from her view.
"What do you think is the right thing to do?" She asked softly while she sat up. I stared at the ceiling, pondering my answer.
"I can't be Robin forever, Zee, I can't be always living in his shadow, always being 'The Bat Brat'; I need to become something that will be as affective as Batman, without actually being him." I paused and I sat up so I could look right into her azure eyes, so I could tell her the truth.
"Bruce always wanted me succeed him; but after the mental mission from hell, I realized I couldn't do it; I couldn't sacrifice everything for the mission I cared too much for my friends, and because of that - that weakness, Batman has been training - trying to train me to forget all that, but no matter what I will never be him, I'll always be…" I trailed off with my head hung low.
"You?" Zatanna finished with a sad waver. I gazed up at her and released a shaky breath.
"There's no one else I can be." I said sadly. She got up and walked in front of me and stared into my eyes while she gently pulled my mask off to reveal the few tears that had welled up. Her face contorted in pain at the sight and her eyes trickled with a few tears.
"There's no one else I'd want you to be." She whispered before she tenderly placed her lips over mine. I responded with as much tenderness and love to show her that I needed her and how much she meant to me. Her hands traveled to my hair and entangled themselves in it. I groaned softly and gripped her arms to pull her closer. She didn't understand that without her I would still be the hollow shell that Batman wanted me to be, she was the one person who could remind me of who I was. Our lips moved in perfect synchronization, everything about it was perfect. The kiss started off gentle, not forceful, but rhythmic, calm, savory. I stroked her cheek and bit her bottom lip lightly, asking for entrance. She allowed it and she gasped when my tongue started to dance with hers, never picking up the pace, never pushing for dominance. It was so full of meaning, of passion. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me, to show that I truly love her. She pulled away panting and a small smile set on her lips. I gave her a crooked grin and kissed her forehead lightly.
"You're Dick Grayson, and nobody can change that." She whispered into the crook of my neck. My features softened into a warm smile and I wrapped my arms around her waste, bringing her in for a hug. She sighed and kissed my cheek. I raised an eyebrow, a plan suddenly forming in my head, and brought us both down onto the bed while I rolled so I was hovering over her.
"I love you Zee." She had to know, she was the only person in the world who got behind my wall, who knew what I needed, I know it sounds selfish but; I would never ever be able to let her go. She made me who I was.
"I love you too." Then I dove in and kissed her, my one hand wrapping around her waist and the other holding my weight. She fisted my hair and rubbed her hand down my chest and abs.
Without her, who would I be?
Simple, I would always be Richard Grayson,
But she made me a better one,
A better me.