The disclaimer saying I don't own any Invader Zim characters has sleepwalked away. This is more madness based off of my fic Rise of the InvaderZ. EMBRACE THE MADNESS!
Dreams Is Weird
Dib woke up. He was alone in his bed. "Huh? I'm home…" He rubbed his eyes and looked around. "I'm in my room. Was it all a dream?"
He lay there for a moment then sat up. "Such a weird dream. I dreamt that I had a final battle with Zim on his home planet. That I was a clone. Miss Bitters was an alien too. That I fought the Irken Invasion then I blew up the Earth because my Dad abandoned me…But that couldn't have happened. Could it?"
He looked around his room from where he sat. "Everything looks normal. Maybe it was all a dream?"
"Dib! Dib! Great news! Mom's back!" Gaz ran in excitedly. "Mom's come back!"
"Back?" Dib blinked.
"Yes son!" Dr. Membrane walked in. "Your mother and I have been talking and I've realized that I have spent way too much time at work! Science is a wonderful thing but not as wonderful as family! So I'm giving up my TV show and only going to work in my lab part time so I can be a full time dad!"
"You are?" Dib stood up on his bed. "She is? But if Mom's come back that means…I'm not a clone! I'm a normal human boy!"
"That's debatable," Gaz snorted.
"I'm not a clone! I'm not a clone!" Dib danced on the bed with glee. "I'm a normal human boy with parents!"
"Clone? Sounds like somebody's been watching too much TV," Dr. Membrane chuckled.
"It doesn't matter now Dad!" Dib jumped up and hugged his father. "All that matters is that I'm a normal kid with normal parents and I'm going to have a nice normal life and no more aliens or paranormal conspiracies or spaceships or insane robot dogs that aren't dogs…"
"That's nice son. Honey! I think Dib wants to see you!" Dr. Membrane coughed as he put Dib back on the bed.
"Oh Dibby! Mommy missed you so much!" Tallest Purple sashayed in wearing a purple dress with a white apron and a purple wig.
"Oh…" Dib blinked. "Okay this is the part where I'm supposed to wake up screaming isn't it? No? Guess not. For some reason this isn't disturbing enough for me."
"What's that sweetie?" Mommy Purple asked.
"Nothing Mom, just realizing that my mental health isn't that good," Dib shrugged.
"Oh my widdle Dibbles!" Mommy Purple twittered. "Don't worry! Mommy knows just how to get rid of those blues! Who wants waffles?"
"I do!" Gir bounced around in his dog suit. "Yay! Doggy likes waffles!"
"Oh yeah we got a dog," Gaz smirked as she petted Gir on the head.
"Uh huh, still not disturbing enough," Dib shrugged. "Okay let's all go eat waffles."
"Zim! Come on! You and your brother and sister are going to eat waffles!" Mommy Purple chirped.
Zim walked in with a very depressed look on his face. For some reason he was wearing a little boy sailor suit and had a lollypop in his hand. "Dib…Can you please wake up and start the screaming now?" His left eye twitched.
"I'd like to but to be honest I'm starting to get into this," Dib blinked as he watched his 'Parents' share a hug.
"This is what you desire?" Zim snarled.
"Well yeah. I mean I just want a normal family like everyone else on Earth. I'll even settle for a weird family," Dib blinked.
"You are a very sick disturbed individual," Zim glared at him.
"Yeah well get used to it, bro," Dib gave him a look.
"I should have reinstalled that self destruct button when I had the chance," Zim shuddered.
"Oh and I haven't told you the best news!" Mommy Purple squealed as she rubbed her stomach. "I'm pregnant! You're going to have another dozen little brothers and sisters! And they are all going to come out of my little tummy!"
"Dib…" Zim twitched.
"Okay that did it," Dib said. "Commencing screaming right NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Zim started screaming too. "AAAHHHHHHH!"
"AAAHHHH!" Both Zim and Dib shot up screaming.
Then they were both smacked on the head. "SHUT UP!" Gaz snarled. She kicked them both out of the large bed they shared. "What is the matter with you?"
"Blame Dib and his sick disturbing dreams!" Zim snapped.
"I can't help how I dream! It's not my fault!" Dib yelled.
"It's your dream, therefore it's your fault!" Zim quipped.
"Well I didn't put Purple in there!" Dib shouted. "Or you!"
"Idiot! Of course you didn't! We're connected! You took some of my memories along with me when you made that stupid dream!" Zim shouted.
"SHUT UP!" Gaz shrieked. "Now…Let's get this straight…You two can share each other's dreams?"
"Irkens don't dream of anything but conquest," Zim huffed. "It's Dib Dummy Dums that is polluting my brain with his stupid dreams!"
"Well who asked you to go into my head?" Dib snapped.
"One of these days I'm going to shoot them out an airlock," Gaz snarled as she stomped off to the bathroom, leaving Dib and Zim to fight.
Later that day…
"You know the only reason I let you idiots sleep in that same bed with me is because I didn't realize how thin those sheets when I stole Dad's bed right?" Gaz asked as she poured some cereal into a bowl. They were in some kind of kitchen slash dining unit on the ship.
"Don't worry, soon I will have my own recharging chamber fixed up and rebuilt so I can have a rest period in peace!" Zim snapped. He was eating waffles. "Or as much peace as I can have with Dib's dumb dreams in my head!"
"Oh like having Purple in my dream is my fault?" Dib snapped. He was also eating waffles.
"So I'm guessing this bonding thing you two have going on allows you to share each other's dreams?" Gaz asked.
"How very perceptive," Zim said sarcastically as he ate his waffles. "I hate this!"
"What? The waffles are actually pretty good," Dib said.
"No, not them. I like the waffles. It's being bonded to you I hate!" Zim snapped. "The fact that my war brother is a non Irken is bad enough but for it to be you! The worst human that ever lived? It really grinds my gears!"
"I am not the worst human that ever lived!" Dib snapped. "Okay. Maybe I am pretty bad. I did kind of wrecked the planet but that was mostly due to stress. I'm pretty sure there are at least ten humans that are worse than I am."
"Including our father," Gaz nodded. "Who at the very least is in the top five of that list."
"You mean your father and my creator," Dib groaned.
"Not this again…" Gaz groaned.
"SQUEEEEEEE!" A pig ran by the door.
"When did we get a pig?" Zim blinked.
"I'm just saying it makes so much sense to me now why he preferred you over me," Dib moaned.
"For the last time, he didn't love me any more than you Dib! I just didn't whine as much as you did!" Gaz snapped. "Remember the time you put that stupid spell on me? Instead of helping me he stuck me in a lab and exploited me to a bunch of companies so he could get a ton of money off of merchandising deals!"
"Seriously, do either of you know about that pig?" Zim asked.
"I said I was sorry about that!" Dib protested.
"Dib I'm off you now and onto Dad but I can still pound you for being annoying!" Gaz shouted. "I don't know why you still care. We don't need Dad. We've been taking care of ourselves for a long time. We don't need that jerk."
"It's not a matter of needing Gaz…" Dib sighed. "I want to have a father that loves me."
"Well you don't. You just have that jerk and you're better off without him," Gaz snapped. "Now shut up and get over it."
"Yeah you don't see me whining over my loss!" Zim snapped. "So what if I'm no longer an invader or was never really considered an invader in the first place? So what if I'm forever banned from my home world because I wrecked it and turned against Irk when they invaded Earth? Big deal! So what if I'm considered tainted and…Excuse me please!" He pounded his head on the table and started sobbing.
"Congratulations Dib you are no longer the biggest whiner on this ship," Gaz groaned.
"PIGGY! I HAVE NO PIGGY! I LOVE-ED YOU! I LOVE-ED YOU!" Gir howled as he ran into the room crying. "I HAVE NO PIGGY!"
"Great I'm not even the second biggest," Dib grumbled.
"SQUEEEEEEAAAAAAAK!" Minimoose flew around with tears in its eyes.
"Now why are you crying Moose?" Gaz yelled.
"SQUEEEEEE!" The pig ran by again.
"Piggy!" Gir chirped. Minimoose squeaked and went out of the room. "Okay bye now!"
"That was a pig wasn't it?" Dib blinked.
"Uh yeah, it was," Zim glared at him. "And you guys say I don't pay attention to things?"
"Okay how long has that pig been on this ship?" Dib blinked.
"I have no idea," Gaz blinked. "Gir where did that pig come from?"
"Pig was staying at my house before we all blew up the Earth," Gir explained.
"Then how come I didn't see him in the Voot Cruiser when we left Earth?" Dib asked.
"Cause I put him in the storage compartment along with the cupcakes!" Gir said happily as he hugged the pig. "But now I can't find the cupcakes!"
"So now along with an insane stupid alien, an insane stupid robot and a flying moose creature we now have a pig?" Gaz asked. "I always wanted a pet but this is ridiculous."
"Uh make that three insane stupid robots," Dib pointed. "And a chicken."
"BUCK! BUCK! BUCKAWWWW!" A chicken was being chased by the Robo Parents in the hallway.
"Oh right I forgot about those two," Gaz said. "But I don't have a clue about where the chicken came from."
"One of Zim's experiments," Dib said.
"I dreamed I was a mashed potato!" Gir chirped. "Dreams is weird!"
"Which one of you activated the Robo Parents?" Zim asked.
"I did!" Gir said cheerfully. "I needed 'em to help me catch the chicken!"
"Of course you did," Zim moaned. "Gir those things never worked right! Even as decoys they were below standard!"
ZZZZZZZZZAAAAPPP!
"BUCKAWWWWWWW!"
ZZAAAAAAAAPPP! FRY!
"Yeah but as chicken fryers they're not half bad," Gir pointed to the mess outside.
"Ugh! I am not cleaning that mess up!" Zim snapped.
"At least we know what we're having for dinner tonight," Gaz remarked.
"And people wonder why I have emotional issues?" Dib groaned.
Later that evening. Well it's always evening in space but at the end of a sixteen hour period….
"Well today has been a very weird and horribly insane day," Gaz muttered as they got ready for bed. "First the Robo Parents killed a live chicken. Gir's pig and Minimoose got into a fight for some weird reason and knocked us off course. Nearly getting us killed when we flew into a path of a comet. We barely escaped the comet only to have Gir accidentally blow up the comet when he played around with the weapon's systems. Then the comet turned out not to be a comet at all but a spaceship. And the alien on that spaceship wasn't too happy so he and his friend attacked us. Then they got attacked by the Robo Parents who danced on their spines until they were dead and we had to jettison their bodies into space."
"Hey that part of the day wasn't half as bad as what happened after," Zim grunted. "When we flew into that nebula and those weird gas creatures tried to eat our ship and we had to blow up the entire nebula."
"No I think the beginning of the day was weirder," Gaz sighed. She saw Dib sitting on a chair in the room. "At least Dib was quiet all day."
"I'd be quieter if my mental breakdown didn't keep getting interrupted!" Dib snapped. "Which is it Gaz? You want me to talk or not? I mean I know my voice annoys you so when I decide to be considerate you complain about it? What do you want from me Gaz? HUH? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"Dib…It's okay…It's okay…" For once Gaz was a little frightened of Dib.
"Okay? Okay? It is not okay Gaz! We are as far from Okay as we can be!" Dib waved his arms, looking crazed. "Wherever okay is we are at the opposite side of it! On top of being exiled from Earth and being the number one enemies of both Irk and Earth, we're flying around outer space with no where to go and no idea what we are doing! DOES THAT SOUND LIKE WE'RE OKAY GAZ? DOES IT?"
Gaz said in an unusually calm voice. "No. It does not."
"I didn't think so!" Dib said. "Now if you don't mind I'm going to go crawl in that closet and cry for a few hours!" He stormed into a closet and slammed the door.
"Oh hi Pig," Dib was heard. "You wanna hear my life story?"
"SQUEEEEEE!" The Pig ran for its life out of the closet.
"Fine! Leave me! Go ahead and abandon me too!" Dib shouted. "Why should you be any different than my own father!" He slammed the door.
Zim and Gaz stared at the closet door. "Gaz…" Zim blinked. "Why didn't you just beat Dib up instead of letting him scream like a monkey?"
"Zim have you forgotten whose idea it was to burn the nebula in the first place?" Gaz hissed.
"Oh right. The whole clone and being abandoned by his father thing," Zim blinked. "He's still not over that?"
"I don't think so."
"Pppht," Zim made a noise and folded his arms. "What a weenie."
"Yeah. It's not like Dib was given a fake mission by his leaders who wanted to kill him," Gaz said.
Zim's eyes widened and he started to cry. "MY TALLEST! WHY? WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME! WAAAAHHH!" He ran off.
"Dib was right," Gaz sighed. "We are so not okay."
Later that night Dib found himself in front of his house. It was raining with thunder and lighting. He walked into the building and saw his father sitting on the couch. "Dad?"
"Dib Number One! What are you doing here?" Membrane asked. "I thought you flew off to outer space."
"I did. But I'm back now," Dib said. "Dad we really need to talk about this whole clone thing."
"I'm afraid it's too late for that. Oh boys! Come on in and meet your brother!" Membrane yelled.
"Brother?" Dib yelled. Dozens of Dib clones of many shapes and sizes ran in. "Dad what is all this?"
"Sorry Dib Number One," Membrane told him. "I've decided to clone myself some new sons! Better sons! Sons interested in science!"
"Science!" The Dib clones spoke out.
"Nothing personal Dib Number One but it just didn't work out," Membrane shrugged. "You're just a little defective. I suppose in some way that's my own fault. Probably took you out of your tube a little early or something like that."
"So that's how it is," Dib's eyes widened and teared up. "You're just gonna clone yourself and forget about me?"
"Well that's what you think isn't it?" Membrane asked. "I mean come on kid, I'm only a dream representation of your father. You're the one making this up."
"Oh…" Dib realized. "So you think this is all in my imagination? That my real father wouldn't make any more clones of me?"
"You tell me. You know the real Membrane better than I do," Membrane said.
"Oh yeah…He'd do that," Dib moaned.
"Well if that's what you think he'd do I guess there's nothing left for me to do then to have my clones throw you down a very large hole," Membrane shrugged. "Nothing personal but…"
"Yeah I get it…" Dib gulped as the Dib clones advanced.
SLAM!
"Okay that's it!" Zim burst in with a huge blaster. He started shooting and destroying the Dib clones. "One Dib is bad enough! More than one…Well it's not acceptable!"
"Hey! What are you doing?" Membrane yelled as Zim shot several clones and destroyed them. "You're not supposed to do that!"
"Not the Dib," Zim blasted one Dib at a time. "Not the Dib. Definitely not the Dib! Come on! Dib could dodge half these blasts! I didn't even try that time! Come on!"
"Stop it! Come on! Cut that out!" Membrane yelled as each Dib was blown up into dust.
"No! I told you! It's bad enough I'm stuck with the original!" Zim shouted as he blew up a few more.
"Zim what are you doing?" Dib asked.
"I'm trying to get some rest and not be infected by your dumb dreams!" Zim snarled.
"I can't help what my subconscious does!" Dib snapped.
"Pathetic!" Zim snarled. "You humans are so weak! You won't see any superior Irken falling to his irrational fears because an Irken has no irrational fears!"
All of the sudden Sizz Lor stormed into the room. "ZIM! This place is a pigsty! Customers are waiting?"
"Huh?" Dib blinked. Suddenly the living room changed into some kind of alien restaurant. "Who's that guy?"
"And stop blowing up the customers! Do your happy dance!" Sizz Lor grew huge. "DO THE DANCE I SAY! AND WEAR YOUR COSTUME!"
"AAAAHHH!" Dib and Zim screamed as they were shoved into some weird alien costume.
"Why is this costume full of boiling oil?" Dib screamed in pain.
"To make you dance better! AAAAAH!" Zim danced around in pain.
"Hey can I get a science burger to go?" Membrane asked
"We don't have science burgers!" Sizz Lor snapped.
"I want science burgers! Dib Clones! Attack!" Membrane shouted. The remaining Dib clones attacked Sizz Lor.
"Die you little pests! This place is for paying customers only! Release the Waffle Bees!" Sizz Lor yelled. Dozens of tiny waffles with bee wings and stingers flew around. It was a mad fight of clones verses waffle bees.
"AAH! THE STINGING! THE STINGING?" Zim screamed as he jumped around as he was attacked by bees as well as being burned by boiling oil.
"And you think my dreams are weird?" Dib yelled in agony.
RRRR-RRRRRRIPPPPPP!
"I'm gonna eat you…." A giant Gir in his dog disguise was above them. He had ripped the roof off and his huge mouth was very close to Zim and Dib.
"AAAAHHHHHH!" Zim and Dib screamed together as the blackness swallowed them.
"WILL YOU TWO MORONS SHUT UP?"
WHAM!
"I swear I'm better off freezing to death," Gaz snarled as she kicked both Zim and Dib out of the bed. "At least it would be quiet!"
"Hey! It wasn't my fault this time! Well most of it," Dib glared at Zim.
"Okay maybe some of that dream was mine," Zim grumbled.
"Who the heck was that guy?" Dib yelled.
"What guy?" Gaz asked.
"Sizz Lor. My warden on Foodcourtia," Zim admitted. "Hey! This is not my fault! It's natural to be afraid of someone who shoves you into suits filled with boiling oil!"
"What?" Gaz asked.
"You're the one who dreaming about his father! Again!" Zim snapped.
"I'm still hurting about that! What do you want from me?" Dib shouted.
"I know what I want from the two of you…" Gaz growled.
"You think he'd actually do that for real?" Dib asked. "Make another clone to replace me?"
"No, your father seems the type to learn from his own mistakes," Zim gave him a look.
"Are you calling me a mistake?" Dib shouted. "The defective invader is calling me a mistake?"
"Who are you calling defective you big headed clone?" Zim shouted.
"You, you stupid insane non invader that's really a food service drone!" Dib yelled.
"Okay! You're dead!" Zim shouted as he tackled Dib and they started fighting with each other.
"Couldn't have just let my dad make me a new clone brother," Gaz groaned in agony. "I had to save the old one!"