Where the Sun Don't Shine, an outsiders fanfic

A/N: Just a silly one-shot. Don't take offense to it. When I wrote this, I didn't think seriously, so neither should you. I wrote this for fun and I was bored, so please don't take it the wrong way. R&R! NO FLAMES, PLEASE!!!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own The Outsiders or any of it's characters!

Warning: This is rated T for crude humor and language. The whole story pretty much leeves on getting kicked "below the belt". Don't like, don't read. THERE ARE NO SCIENTIFIC TERMS IN THIS FICTION!

Soda POV

Another Saturday at our house. Johnny and Ponyboy on the couch, carrying out one of their "silent conversations", and Darry was reading the morning paper. God knows where Dally and Two-bit were. Me and Steve were playing our daily game of poker.

I was losing, badly, but I had a few tricks up my sleeve. I was trying to pull an ace out of my sock. It was almost completely out, but Steve knew me better than that. He kicked the card out and glared at me.

"The least you could do is LOSE fair and square." He said. He got up and walked over to me, pushing me playfully on my back. Everyone in the room knew this was gonna end in a wresting match. He moved to grab my hair, but I punched his arm away.

"Nope! Never touch my hair, Randle!" I yelled, pretending to be angry. He looked at me confused and he weakened slightly. I took my chance and jumped on him, taking him to the ground. "Yeah! Sodapop-1, Steve-0!"

He smiled evilly. "Play me, huh? Soda you're gonna pay." He quickly flipped me of him. He slugged me a few times in the chest. It didn't hurt too bad, but he was still stronger than me. I tried to wiggle out of his hold, the same time he decided to reposition himself. I was almost lose, when his knee came down, full force, on my nuts.

"Holy shit!" I screamed, as I held my breath. I pushed Steve off me, roughly, and doubled over grabbing my crotch. I quickly loosened my grip and winced as the pain shot through me again. "OW!" I felt involuntary tears run down my air filled cheeks.

Two small hands were placed gently on my arm. "Soda? Are you okay?" It was Ponyboy. When I didn't answer he shook me softly. "Soda?"

I let the air out of my mouth sharply. "I'm fine." My voice came out shaky.

He was quiet for a minute. "No, you're not."

I smiled at him. "Really, I'm fine."

He studied me, then got up and stepped a few feet back. "Come here." He said simply.

Come on, Pony. I thought. "Why?"

"Just for a minute." He said reassuringly.

"I don't see why-"

Pony interrupted me."Just a minute."

I sighed and attempted to roll over. Okay, I thought, that didn't hurt. I sat up slowly and again felt no pain. Now came the hard part- standing. I crouched slightly to push off with my legs. I winced as a sudden pain shot through me, and fell to the ground.

Ponyboy looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "You sure you're alright?" He asked again.

"Yes." I said once I gained composure. Ignoring the obvious pain, I stretched tiredly and faked a yawn. "Think I'm gonna head off to bed now. 'Night everyone. See you at work, Steve." I turned to walk away.

"Soda?" Steve called. I turned and he was smiling. "We're even. Good night." I rolled my eyes and limped to mine and Pony's room.

I layed on my back and looked up at the crumbly ceiling, ignoring the fading yet still evident pain in my lower regions. Thinking intently on what Steve had said. Did he intend on this? Was it just a coincidence? Maybe-

"SODA!" Pony yelled my name.

"Huh?" I asked.

He cocked his head to the side. "I've never seen you zone out before." Pony said, awed.

I ruffled his hair, and he swatted at my hand. "Don't get used to it." I winked at him.

He glared at me with false anger in his eyes, then proceeded to crawl over me to his side of the bed. "Ow!" I yelled. Ponyboy immediately jumped off me.

"What?" He asked frantically.

I inhaled deeply. "Nothing." I said.

"Bull." I looked at my younger brother with shock. "You cannot lie to save your life, Sodapop Curtis."

"Ponyboy, I-"

He held up a hand to stop me. "Why won't you tell me. You help me all the time, let me help you for once."

I sighed. "Ponyboy-"

"Please?" He begged.

"Fine." I gave in. He smiled hugely and leaned in to hear me. "When me and Steve were wrestling, I got hurt pretty bad."

He looked at me confused, so I continued to hint around the bush. "You know, kicked in the Netherlands."

Ponyboy shook his head, still confused. I tried again. "Below the belt." His eyes widened with realization and his face reddened with embarrassment.

"Does it still hurt?" He questioned.

"Badly."

"Soda, that can't be good. You and Steve wrestled over an hour ago, it shouldn't still hurt."

I leaned back on my pillow. "I know."

"Have you...checked it out?" Pony asked flushing a deep red.

"Yup."

"And..."

I looked at him seriously. "They don't look too good."

He turned away trying to hide his blush. I smiled at his innocence. "You should let Darry...help you." He said slowly returning to his normal color.

"No, that's...weird."

"Then go see a doctor." He suggested.

"No!" I would never admit how afraid I was of clinics and hospitals. I don't think the gang would let me live it down, especially Steve and Two-Bit.

"Well, then at least put some ice on it."Pony was getting frustrated.

"That, I can do."

He smiled at me. "I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, Ponyboy came in the room with a towel full of ice. He handed it to me and I placed it over the sore area.

Ponyboy coughed, and I looked at him. His cheeks were once again tinted red. "I thought it would help more if you put the ice on the skin."

I raised an eyebrow, but complied. Ponyboy was watching me. I didn't mind though, I'm perfectly okay with my body. When I unzipped my pants he looked away. Again, I had to smile at his innocence. The cool pressure almost immediately dulled the once sharp pain. "Ah, much better. Thanks, Pone."

"Your welcome." He yawned.

"Come on to bed." He walked up to the bed and made to crawl over me. He stopped, leg mid air and walked around. He fell onto the bed and mumbled, "Good night" And drifted off. I fell asleep not too long after him.

I woke up feeling much better in certain regions. Darry was calling for me to hurry, and I yelled back to him assurances that I was on my way.

I stepped out of the room and ran to the kitchen. I grabbed a piece of jellied toast and munched hungrily on it, washing it all down with nature's sweetest: Chocolate milk.

Ponyboy was seated at the table, watching me. I smiled at him. He smiled back and asked, "All better?"

I nodded and thanked him once again for the help. Then I ran out the door.

I got to the DX, barely on time. "Hey, Steve!" I called as I saw him clock in.

Steve turned and grinned at me. "Hey, Sodapop! How are the family jewels?"

So he did plan it! He'll pay! I looked at him for a long minute. "Good. And yours?"

"Better than yours." He laughed.

"Really?" I walked up to him and grabbed his shoulders. I brought my knee up to hit him squarely in his junk. He fell to the floor grabbing his nuts, groaning in pain. I smiled at a job well done.

I turned to leave, then remembered something vitally important. I crouched down so we were face to face. I watched the tears run down his cheeks and his face was red with pain. I whispered in his ear. "Now, we're even."

A/N: Like I said earlier, this fanfiction was not to be taken seriously. I apologize if anyone didn't find it funny or took offense to it. R&R anyway though!!! NO FLAMES!!!