Hello again! This is A Little Priest with Sweeney's commentary! But first: Announcements.
1. I will be gone for 3 weeks starting *looks at clock on laptop* in 12 hours so I can't upload anything during that time, I'm sorry!
2. for all of you who follow Sweeney's Opportunity: I KNOW I havent updated in a really long tim and im REALLY sorry, I swear! but if you forgive me you will have a new chapter by the end of July
3. Who else is going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at midnight on July 14th? Are you going to cry? I am! :'(
I don't own the song or characters or anything..just Sweeney's comments. And really, the english language owns my comments so I guess I own nothing really...*sniffle*
Oh! and I didn't get my editor to pre-read this so I really hope it makes sense! :)
Anyway! Here's this silliness!
That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him?
Isn't it obvious? Clearly, you don't watch a lot of cop shows.
Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him
Its brilliant! Mwahahaha! We are evil, fer SURE.
Oh yeah. Of course we could do that. I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him.
Look; If you disagree, just say so! I don't really appreciate your sarcasm.
Seems a downright shame...
That you don't see the brilliance of my idea? I agree indefinitely!
Shame?
That's what came out of my mouth? Wow, my mouth is nicer to her than my brain is! LOL!
Seems an awful waste...
What has my mind told you about using complete sentences?
Such a nice, plump frame
Plump? Dude was thinner than a toothpick!
Wot's 'is name has...
How many times do we have to go through the rule about completing your sentences?
Had...
Really? Now you're just trying to make me angry.
Has
No. Comment.
Nor it can't be traced...
Yeah, I know we aren't going to get caught. Thanks for clearing that up for me though.
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Lift? Its going to need more than just a lift, dear.
Debts to be erased...
Only white-out can erase your debts, an eraser just wont cut it.
Think of it as thrift,
Oh lovely. I see its confuse Sweeney time again…
As a gift,
A gift is a necktie, or maybe some socks. Not a dead guy.
If you get my drift
Well I don't. Good try though.
Seems an awful waste...
THAT'S IT! I'm writing you a strongly worded letter about your sentences after this song!
I mean, with the price of meat
Strongly. Worded. Letter.
What it is,
What is what? I like you less than usual right now.
When you get it,
You get meat when you run out, duh. Or in your case, when you catch to speedy little kitties…sicko.
If you get it...
Wait a minute…does she mean…?
Ah!
INGENIUS!
Good, you got it!
For once I most certainly DO get it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Cat pie lady? I doubt she uses dead people…or does she…? Suspicousness level: raised.
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast
!Why would she need toast if she puts them in pies, that's my question.
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
Excuse me? What do you- OH KITTIES! That's what you mean, KITTIES! Ha ha you got me for a second there, Lovett!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
!People would most definitely taste better in pies than kitties! Kittens are just so CUTE
!Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
Good cover mouth, wouldn't want to sound like a (excuse my bad joke) pussy, now would we?
Well, it does seem a waste..
.A waste INdeed!
Eminently practica
lquite mouth, quite.
And yet appropriate as always
!Oh, well I don't really think she's all that appropriate…but you haven't failed me yet, Opening-I-Use-To-Voice-My-Opinion!
Think about it...Don't tell me what to do! *3 year old Sweeney makes an appearance*
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
OH NO! NOW SHE'S GOT ME DOING IT!
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
Evil in a corset, that's what you are. And I'm not talking about the people pies. *cough cough* your contagious lack of complete senences!
How delectable!
Woah there! Lets not imply that sort thing! She might get the wrong idea…
Also undetectable!
It's like she's an evil undercover cop
!Lots of other gentlemen'll
*sigh* you're not going to stop are you?
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Their last shave! Mwahahaha!
Won't they?
They will. Don't doubt my barber skills!
Think of
You know, I've never been a fan of cliffhangers…
All them
Really not a fan.
Pies!
I need a drink.
How choice!
Very choice. I loves me some alcohol!
How
Preferably in the bottle. Why should I inconvenience myself with glasses? I'm just gonna drink it all anyway!
Rare!
It is rare that I just drink it from the bottle, that Toby kid hogs it all!
For what's the sound of the world out there?
People. People and their nonsense, me.
What, Mr. Todd?
Didn't you hear my inquiry?
What, Mr. Todd?
I'm not repeating myself.
What is that sound?
It's me! Talking to you! Or, really, it's me yelling at you telepathically.
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Crunching noises are so inconsiderate to the air! Pervading it and such all the time!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
It's good to hear you agree
Yes Mr. Todd!
Repeating things you just said really isn't as productive as you think…
Yes, all around!
Right…
It's man devouring man, my dear!
Omnomnom! People!
And/Then who are we to deny it in here?
We would be bad people; worse than the kitty eaters!
These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
ahhh, desperate measures! My favorite kind of measure! Those, and Drastic measures.
Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!
Another meat pie? I wonder what's in it…
What is that?
My exact thoughts mouth! You must be a mind reader!
It's priest. Have a little Priest,
only if it's yumtastic!
Is it really good?
I mean yumtastic.
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Too good, you say? Well that's quite good…
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
Yeah, the religious tend to stay away from sins, or just get forgiveness A LOT.
So it's pretty fresh.
How fresh? Was he killed today or yesterday? Don't you lie to me!
Awful lot of fat.
Oh, I forgot. Gotta watch my figure!
Only where it sat.
Well then don't give me that part!
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
Those have less calories. At least that's what wikipedia said anyway…
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
What? What's the problem? What is it Lovett? *hysterical*
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
It. Doesn't. Have. A. Heartbeat. Good thing you aren't a doctor…
Try the priest!
But…but you said it had fat…
Lawyer's rather nice.
I hope it's the one who defended me at my court hearing! The world could do without him; he's terrible!
If it's for a price.
Yeah, lawyer might be pricey, even if its dead…
Order something else, though, to follow,
To follow? What, like stalk?
Since no one should swallow it twice!
Unless he's got a twin…
Anything that's lean?
Like POET? I'm really craving someone creative!
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
I am British, but I wouldn't call myself loyal per say…
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Marine you say? Sounds fishy…
Anyway, it's clean.
That sounds nice…
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been
!Oh…I don't really think I should risk that.
Is that squire, on the fire?
Squire? Where? YUM!
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
Oh. Disappointment…
You'll notice it's grocer!
BORRRRR-ING!
Looks thicker,
I guess…
More like vicar
!I already said I don't like religious people!
No, it has to be grocer -
Why?
It's green!
Oh…OH! Ahahaha, I get it! Good one!
The history of the world, my love-
Is long and boring. I don't have time for such nonsense.
Save a lot of graves,
In case you haven't noticed, its just me. I don't need like, 7 graves
.Do a lot of relatives favors!
I have relatives? WHY didn't you tell meeee?
Is those below serving those up above!
Serving? What do I mean by that? Like, here's your pina colada Mr. Dead-Guy? Because that's pretty demeaning…I'm not doing that.
Ev'rybody shaves,
Except the Amish. Those cool kids like their beards!
So there should be plenty of flavors!
We should display flavors on a chalkboard like ice cream shops!
How gratifying for once to know
she's got me cutting off my sentences again!
That those above will serve those down below!
WOAH! We said that at the same time! Psychic pals!
What is that?
It looks fancy for some reason…
It's fop.
Well that explains it!
Finest in the shop.
Hahaha! Joke: understood.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With what? REAL shepherd?
With actual shepherd on top!
Ok, my psychic accuracy is starting to scare me.
And I've just begun-
You sure? this song is getting kind of lenghty...
Here's the politician, so oily
Ew. I won't eat that.
It's served with a doily,
Just because you make it look good, doesn't mean it is. Example: you. You're evilish, if I do say so myself!
Have one!
No, I shall pass.
Put it on a bun.
Why would I tell her to do that? It already has pie crust! If she does that it will be a pie burger!
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
Well we are just full of jokes today, aren't we?
Try the friar,
Again: I don't like religious guyyyysss!
Fried, it's drier!
Don't care. It still tastes funny. Wait, how do I know it tastes funny…?
No, the clergy is really
Gross? Probably.
Too coarse and too mealy!
I agree with myself!
Then actor,
Oh, moving on to the self absorbed are we?
It's compacter!
You only said that because it rhymes!
Ah but always arrives overdone!
*Ba dum chhh!* drum noises are the best!
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu,
Sounds like a good idea, me!
Have charity towards the world, my pet!
Why did I call her my pet? That's weird…
Yes, yes, I know, my love!
I am NOT your love! Take it back!
We'll take the customers that we can get!
Tell her to take it back!
High-born and low, my love!
There she goes AGAIN! This nonsense needs to cease immediately!
We'll not discriminate great from small!
We wont? Ok me, whatever you say…except my pet. that's just not cool…
No, we'll serve anyone,
Siriusly? Meaning anyone,
I guess so…
And to anyone
Except me. I'm not eating any of this; especially those clergy kids.
At all!
Except. Me. And if you forget, I WILL never accidentally brush my hand against yours! So you can either never feed me those pies, or never accidentally touch me and my attractiveness again. It's up to you…
And there you go! It's a bit suckish because I typed this kinda fast...Review loves! :) And thank you to everyone who reviewed! I have nnow figured out how to respond to reviews so if you review anything of mine starting now you will probably get a response! :) P.S. you should check out my editor sclover4520 because she is writing a LOVELY story and y'all might like to read and review that too. That and I told her I would give her a shout out... XD Love you crazy Kids!