The thunder clapped and the lighting flourished. Everyone around me was clad in black with red faces and tears streaming down their faces. I kept myself from emancipating a single tear. I had to be strong. I just had to. I promised her. She made me promise her. She also made me promise to not tell anyone it was a suicide. All I told anyone was that she accidentally overdosed. What a stupid damn lie.
I walked to her casket and peered inside. She was dressed in the oufit she picked out for this occasion. A black corset dress that reached her ankles. A pair of black, lacey ballet flats as well. The same exact outfit she wore to homecoming, with the exception of the black ribbon weaved into her blonde hair. And even though she looked beautiful in her deep 'slumber', I longed for her to awake so I could see her gorgeous chocolate eyes that once and awhile faded into a lovely greenish hazel color.
The funeral was held under a very large gazebo lined with black and red roses. The rain dripped off the roof and splattered on the ground roughly. I looked over to my friends. They were all mourning and weeping. Carlos, was weeping the most. A few tears occasionally slipped from James's eyes. And Logan tried to stand him ground like me. My baby sister, Katie, stood by my mother in her black knee length dress and converse, crying into my mom's black clad stomach.
Little did any of them know. I knew it all. I knew what she did, when she did it, and why she did it.
"Kendall! You just don't understand!" She yelled at me.
"Lily, I'm not gonna let you do this!" I began to choke up at the news.
"Ken. They hate me. They always have, they always will."
"You don't have to deal. Just-just take me up on my offer." We sat on her bed and I grabbed her hand. "Please. Just run away with me."
"What makes you think anyone else won't be a dicks or bitches? Huh?" I looked down. "Kendall, I was locked in a locker for three hours before anyone noticed I was gone!"
She stood up and walked into her bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of Lunesta.
The pastor had us all sit in the pews that were draped with black cloth. I sat in an end seat and looked to my left to see nothing but an open field with puddles everywhere. The rain still coming down.
Lily's mom stood up and walked to the front and began her eulogy.
She showed me the bottle, then opened it. "Ken, it's gonna be quick and easy. I need you to help me though."
I looked down into my lap. I'd do anything to make her happy. Even if it wasn't the right thing to do. "Fine."
She gave me a small smile and sat by me again. "Okay, first, promise me you won't tell anyone that it was s-s-well. You know what." I nodded. "Second, I need you to make sure they prepare my funeral perfectly. I want to wear my black, lacey, corset dress with my flats. And I want lots and lots of roses. Black and red." She went on and on talking like it was a birthday party or something.
"Third, I need you to be strong. Promise?" I nodded slowly. She took a deep breath and opened the bottle of Lunesta. She poured a hand full of the little 3 milligram dark blue pills out of the bottle. She tossed them into her mouth and swallowed them dry. There was about 21 milligrams.
"Feel any different?" I asked.
"Only the sudden rush of adrenaline." She replied, smirking and climbing up onto her brown leopard spotted sheets, and covering up with her comforter that was red on the bottom and black on the top. She rested her head in the silky black pillows and motioned for me to lay next to her. I did so, and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my chest.
She looked up at me with her gleaming eyes.
"Sing me to sleep," she began to sing.
"Sing me to sleep,
I'm tired and I,
I want to go to bed.
Sing me to sleep,
Sing me to sleep,
And then leave me alone.
Don't try to wake me,
In the morning,
'Cause I will be gone." She rolled onto her back, looking at her black ceiling.
"Don't feel bad for me,
I want you to know.
Deep in the cell of my heart,
I will feel glad to go."
I began to sing with her to her wishes.
"Sing me to sleep,
Sing me to sleep,
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore.
Sing to me,
Sing to me,
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore." I began to tear up for the first real time.
"Don't feel bad for me,
I want you to know.
Deep in the cell of my heart,
I really want to go.
Sing me to sleep,
Sing me to sleep." Her breathing slowed down and she drifted to sleep, leaving me to sing on my own.
"There is another world,
There is a better world.
Well, there must be,
there must be.
There is another world,
There is a better world." My words slowly faded away, and in three hours, so did she. And in those three hours (and even longer) I had cried myself to sleep next to her. And I swore, there she was, right in my dreams. Standing next to me.
"Visit me often?" I asked her.
She nodded and kissed me on the cheek.
As I came to, I looked back into the field. I couldn't believe my eyes. There she was, outside the gazebo, by my seat. She waved to me. Her hair looked drenched, and her skin looked moist. I stood up, earning looks from everyone, and walked over to her. But I didn't get too close because she began to run. I ran out of the gazebo, following her through the rain. She turned around and was walking backwards, smiling at me. She fell, and I got on my knees next to her, and I sat there.
"I love you, Kendall. You did the right thing." She said to me.
"Then why the hell do I feel like shit?" I began to cry.
"Trust me, K-Dog," She smiled at calling me by my nickname, "I'll be there for you." I began to bawl. "I should've never let you do this, Lil! I'm such a damn idiot!"
"Shh, don't cry, baby." It was my mom this time. I looked up a bit to see that Lily wasn't there. I looked back down and continued to cry. My suit was soaked, and my wet hair stuck to my face. My mom stood me up and walked me back to the gazebo. She argued about taking me home, but I won the converstion, and I stayed. And I watched her go to her better world. I cried her to sleep, and this was all I got in return. A broken heart and one less person in my life.
Sooo? What did you think? I seriously started bawling when I wrote this! It was based off of "Alseep" by Emily Browning. ( and when I was picturing Lily, I pictured Emily Browing with blonde hair, like in Sucker Punch).