Make it to Heaven
Hey, this is just a short fic that's been in my head for a while.
I think Claire should have gone Hollywood in the book. Oh, well, sigh.
Disclaimed.
Please Enjoy and Review!
If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change.
~John A. Simone, Sr.
Claire sighed quietly as she stood as still as she could with her best posture a few feet away from the plain metal door. Claire didn't want to admit that she was scared out of her scull for this.
It's just an audition. Who cares? Claire thought nervously as she started pacing.
But the reason Claire felt so self-conscious was that a year ago to the day her relationship with the girl she had called her best friend had changed drastically.
Claire could remember it perfectly. She hadn't been sure what she wanted to do so she had called Layne as a fall back. Layne had scolded her for even thinking of backing out of an opportunity like that. The funny thing was Layne was pressuring her to do it and she didn't really mind. Not even a little bit.
Claire could easily recall Massie coming over as she packed. Massie had said a few jokes about her hair and eyebrows and then asked her what she was doing. Claire had told her all smiles and excitement. She expected for Massie to at tell her not to pack her Keds or something silly and shallow like that. But instead Massie had freaked out. Massie shrieked and tackled Claire all the while yelling profanities. Claire had been unsuspecting and eternally surprised. She didn't do anything to defend herself. She was too shocked.
It had been Claire's mother who had pulled Massie off. Judy had pulled her away and then promptly telephoned Kendra Block. Claire had been shaken and uncertain as to how to deal with it.
Later that day Kendra and Massie had come back to apologize. Massie had put up quite the show. She'd giggled, hugged, complimented, and congratulated Claire. All until Kendra and Judy left the room. And then she told Claire how she really felt. That she thought Claire was useless and ungrateful, a traitor, that she hoped Claire would die on the set. Then she'd stormed off leaving Claire alone in a packed up room.
We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart... and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together... I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude.
~Helen Hayes
The PC had very carefully removed itself from Claire's life. She'd been removed from facebook, myspace, blocked from IM, and there cell phones.
She'd seen Dylan at the mall and waved, but Dylan had just run off in the opposite direction without so much as a second glance.
Everyone at school soon found out that Claire had been blacklisted so no one really talked to her. Sure Claire was going Hollywood, but Massie Block was way scarier. Soon Claire's only communication was with her family, Layne, and, Cam. But it didn't bother her all that much seeing as in she had to leave Westchester for NYC soon.
Claire had to learn various things about living on the street learn her lines, meet the co-stars and other things like that. She was incredibly busy before the filming even began. Before long Claire barely had time for her family, Cam, or Layne.
Her family let her be but stopped by regularly enough to make sure she was okay. Layne didn't care that she was ignored or annoying, she stuck around day in and day out and even got used as an extra a few times. It made Claire feel much better. But of course Layne got dragged off by her parents because there was a special family trip to Venice. Then it was only Cam left to keep her company. And their time together felt awkward. He came up to New York a lot at first and then his visits became less and less frequent and he got really distant. She and everyone else could smell the break up a mile away.
When Claire had realized this she had been particularly upset. She didn't understand why, and when she tried to confront him, he waved her off. But there had been no time for that. She had to work on a night scene.
Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal happiness.
~Leo Tolstoy
It was one of her co-stars who made her feel better. It had been the crazy, hilarious, emotional, over-dramatic Jess Hannigan who had made her feel better. Jess played a mean girl who was only in the New York scenes but overall was a blast and a laugh-riot.
On the last day of shooting in New York everyone had gone out for a minor celebration because there had been very few kinks. Somehow Jess and her cousin, Lily, a makeup artist for the show 30Rock had convinced Claire to pull an all-nighter and watch the sun come up with them.
Jess and Lily had then given her some words of wisdom.
"The thing is… Claire, this is the kind of job that is super sucky, unless you luuurve it," Jess said drunkenly as the three stood on the balcony in the early morning.
"You gotta love the long hours, the disappearing into the roles, the travelling, the attention! You gotta forget the jerks. They suck! I mean if you boyfriend hasn't got the guts to a'mit he don't like your job, or tha' he's jealous… then screw him! I mean you love it don'cha? The job?"
Claire stopped to think about it.
"I'm not a fan of the attention, but I like, no I love the acting and the traveling and just about everything else," Claire said thoughtfully.
"Then there ya go! It's for you! Oh look at that sky!" Jess yelled with so much excitement.
"But my friends, in Westchester—" Claire began.
"One, they're not your friends," Lily said taking a sip of Claire's coke. "Two. Well, they ain't seen the best of you yet!"
She smiled and patted Claire on the shoulder and Claire smiled a little at her.
Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.
~Harvey MacKay
It had taken Claire a while to understand and accept what Lily had said. All the time Claire was in India Claire thought on that, the Pretty Committee, Cam, Layne, her family. Just about everything.
Claire spent more time thinking about it then she did working on the movie, which was shocking seeing as she usually had to work sixteen-hour days, but it was the email from Kristen that made stop.
It had been short and kind. It had just said congratulations and that she had to meet her full potential, that she understood that even if the rest of the PC didn't.
Claire had promptly sent an email back thanking her and telling her all about the movie.
Claire and Kristen sent emails once or twice a week the same went with Layne. Claire understood that this was because both girls had seen the best of Claire and knew that there was still some yet to be seen.
"The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good."
~Brian Tracy
A tall girl a year or two older then Claire burst through the metal door sobbing and ran off.
Claire didn't really notice though.
She felt serene and built up with a sort of anticipation that made very, very certain.