This fic was written after finally seeing the Hangover and my head just making odd connections (because it does that randomly) between characters. It's not entirely THE HANGOVER, just the basis for the plot is, and you'll see what I mean.

Thanks to Bones for the beta.

Warnings: Language, excessive drinking, maybe a little bit of dirty stuff to come…

Disclaimer: YEAHHHH do you really think I'd be writing fanfiction about them if I owned them? No, they'd be tied up in my closet for my enjoyment. And yet here I am…

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

Jim Kirk slammed his communicator against the reinforced steel counter of the bar, hearing the satisfying crack under his hand. He rubbed his eyes, propping his elbow on the counter, leaning forward to think. They had three hours to get back to the Enterprise from shore leave and there was still no sign of Scotty.

There hadn't been a sign of Scotty for three days.

They couldn't leave without their Chief Engineer, Jim knew that, so they had no option, but to find him. The thought that was really on his mind was that he really had no idea how they had lost the Scotsman to begin with.

Two Weeks Ago

"Take us out, Lieutenant." Captain Kirk said, smiling as he leaned back in his chair, relaxed and happy. Their final mission, for the time being, was finished and he'd just received word that his crew had permission for a shore leave on Risa. While they had only been away from home for six months, it had started to feel like years. He watched Admiral Chapman's face disappear from his view screen before turning his chair.

"Lieutenant Uhura," the Captain started, "open a ship-wide channel."

Her fingers raced across the panels in front of her as Nyota Uhura, who was grinning slightly to herself, opened the channel and turned back to Jim, nodding slightly. He leaned toward the microphone in his chair, speaking clearly to the entire ship.

"This is your Captain speaking; ladies and gentlemen, in honor of a great first six months, we've been granted shore leave on the planet Risa. We are en route as we speak and the trip there will take..." He trailed off looking up toward his navigator. "Ensign Chekov?"

The boy turned around in his chair to look back at the captain. "Six and a half days, sir."

"-Six point seven two four, to be precise."

Jim turned and looked at his first officer, and science officer, Spock, smirking at him, slightly. Spock, however, wasn't paying attention to him, which was no surprise. Instead, he was staring at his own station, fingers moving over screens as he checked readings, read over documents, and filed away reports in record time. Jim turned again, finishing his announcement.

"We will be there in one week, at the latest. You will all be informed when we get there. Kirk out."

After his shift, Jim retired to the mess hall, eager to begin planning the three days that the admirals had granted them. He grabbed a tray of food from the replicators and sat down heavily next to his best friend, partner in crime, and doctor, Leonard McCoy, or as Jim liked to called him, Bones (or any of the fore mentioned titles, as well as a number of others, most of which were questionable in nature and most likely names that a flagship captain should not be calling his chief medical officer.) Bones looked up from a PADD as Jim almost slammed the tray down in his face, trying to get his attention. He looked tired, worn out, and generally ready for these few days off.

"Bones! Whatda have planned for Risa?" Bones grumbled to himself, muttering something about rest, booze, and silence. "You gotta be kiddin' me! You know, it's called a pleasure planet for a reason..." More grumbling was heard as protest, resulting in an exasperated sigh from Jim. "I know exactly what you need: to get laid. Hard."

To a point, Bones agreed with Jim; it had been a while since he'd let some frustrations out, especially in bed. He really didn't want drunken antics with some cheap whore that most likely would result in a handful of diseases and even a bit of crying on his part, possibly even a panic attack if he wasn't careful. Being a doctor, he tended to gravitate toward the clean and decontaminated, much unlike Jim, who he'd seen eating off of the floor in a bathroom before.

"Jim, I know you think that getting laid is the answer to every problem-" Jim nodded enthusiastically, indeed he did believe in the power of a good release of frustration, and what better way to do it? "-but really all I need is some peace and quiet."

Jim frowned, almost pouting. He looked young when he did this, his face seeming to entirely compact into the point of his nose. It was a face Bones was used to; Jim used it way too often and it's charm had lost effect only a month into their five year cruise. Never the less, he also knew that if he didn't comply with Jim's wishes, Jim would keep his face like that for hours and then he'd end up following Bones around the ship for the rest of the day until he gave in. The kid was like a mosquito in his ear sometimes, that incessant buzzing until he either let the younger man suck the life out of him, or he finally snapped and sticks him with a hypo just to shut him up.

"Ya know what? Fine. We'll go to Risa, get hammered, and then let things happen their own way." There was a slight growl in his voice as he picked up the PADD again and started reading once more, attempting to ignore Jim's excitement

Jim, on the other hand, was like an excited puppy that was just let out of it's kennel. He was almost jumping out of his seat with excitement over the bars, nightclubs and casinos they were going to visit down on the planet. It wasn't until a second voice chimed in on Jim's rambling that Bones even looked up from his PADD.

"Sounds li' ye lads are plannin' a bit ay fun!" Montgomery Scott, or just Scotty, the ship's chief engineer said as he sat down at the table beside Bones, grinning at Jim brightly. Jim nodded back at him.

"Join us Scotty! I know you of all people would be able to get Bones to have some fun!" Scotty nodded at the sentiment, agreed whole heartedly.

Like his name, Scotty was a true Scotsman. The man knew how to throw a party that no one ever remembered the next morning, which, of course, made it the best of parties. The man could not only drink anyone he wanted under the table, but afterwards, he could strip down and still play his bagpipes perfectly. A true Scotsman, indeed.

"Ah'm sure ah could show th' good doctor a new way or four around a bottle a' scotch."

"It vould take four bottles just to veel zee scotch. Now wodka! Tha's a man's drink!" The young ensign Pavel Chekov sat down next, followed closely by the ship's pilot, Hikaru Sulu. The two were often attached at the hip, both being some of the youngest crew members on board. Hikaru was fairly protective of the younger boy, often warding off anyone that would start to swoon over Chekov's Russian accent and childish face. The term 'jailbait', though primitive, was really the only way to describe the boy. Chekov, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to everyone's obvious attraction to him, mostly believing that everyone was just excessively kind because he's so young.

By this time, Bones was shaking his head slightly, unable to concentrate any longer on the text in front of him.

"All right, all right, we'll go drinking on Risa; all of us. For one night. Then can I have my quiet reading time?" Jim looked from Bones to the rest of the table, eyebrows raised, waiting for a response. Slowly the other three men nodded and shrugged, all right with this compromise.

"All right, Bones, sounds good to me! When we get down there, we check into a hotel, and go get wasted. After that night, I won't bug you anymore until we get back on the ship." Jim grinned at the decision, happy that they would at least get one night with his officers and best friends, drinking and enjoying the paradise of Risa.

The only one of the group missing now was Spock, and Jim doubted that Spock would ever agree to a night of drinking.

Two days later

"Come on, Spock, it'll be fun!" Jim's voice was quickly approaching a whine as he stood just inside the doorway to Spock's quarters. Spock was sitting at his desk, typing away quickly on a PADD, looking through recent experiment briefings and results held by the science department.

"Jim, I fail to see the enjoyment in hindering one's own mental function through inebriation." He hadn't once looked up from the PADD since Jim had buzzed his room.

"That's the whole point! To let go and use the excuse of being drunk to do things you'd never do otherwise!" That made Spock look up, a single eyebrow twitching upward at Jim. Jim, however, just grinned back, hoping that somehow his argument was getting through to Spock. He really wanted to see the Vulcan loosen up. It was over six months since the Narada Incident, as Starfleet was now calling it, and it still seemed to Jim that if he happened to say something wrong or even attempt to touch Spock in any way, he'd find himself once more pummeled into a control panel or wall (or desk or chair) by the much stronger being.

"Come on, Spock. It'll be good for you. A few days of relaxation, letting loose with the guys. Hey, maybe you'll even meet someone nice and have a bit of fun." The eyebrow only twitched higher, making Jim finally sigh and slump down into the second chair in the room.

"Lighten up, will ya? I mean, if the rest of us need a break, you have to need one too, right?" Spock considered this for a moment before looking at Jim again, his face once again blank.

"I do believe that a short repose from my daily obligations could be agreeable. Perhaps only a single night will not cause much of a disruption in the necessary commitments on board. Besides," a slight change in Spock's gaze occurred then, "there must be a single individual of mental capability present to insure the safety of those vacuous enough to refuse to be complaisant." It took Jim a moment to absorb the statement as Spock only sat there, watching him, but as soon as he did, his eyes went wide and he looked at the other man sitting across from him.

"Spock! Did you just make a sarcastic joke?"

"It is quite possible, as I have been studying Terran humor." Jim paused for a moment, thinking.

"Maybe we shouldn't bring you with us; I think we already have a bad enough influence on you."