Road to Womanhood
(A/E: I decided to make this the last thing of Family Guy: OC Universe. Brace yourselves, because this will be my most dramatic story yet. I hope you enjoy the journey.)
Chapter 1: What Am I?
Eddie was in Los Angeles, in an interview about his most recent movie: Action Models, whose poster was Zoey and him as Emma in their lingerie holding guns with an explosion background.
"Glad you came here, Mr. Walker" the interviewer said.
"Pleasure is mine" Eddie said.
"I'm surprised how happy you are after…the movie bombed"
"Well, we all made mistakes and-"
"And I mean…whoa, this one really bombed that hard. Critics called it one of the worst movies of not just this year, but of the entire decade"
"Sounds too harsh when you put it that way, don't you think? It only got 19% on Rotten Toma-"
"I mean, how can a director came from directing an Academy Award nominee movie about Jesus Christ to this Michael Bay-like garbage? Not even M. Night Shyamalan fell from grace that hard.
After the interview, Eddie went to a bar to drink a beer.
"Why the long face, pal?" the bartender (who looks like Moe from the Simpsons) asked.
"I was compared with Michael Bay and M. Night Shyamalan" Eddie said "The complete opposite I want to be as a movie director. Even the director of that disappointing Venom movie got better luck"
"Why did you do that movie anyway?" the bartender asked.
"It was gonna just a small project. You know, trashy fun. Zoey was all on board and we even kicked their asses to that gossip group stuck in the 90's." Eddie explained "Now my career is in danger"
"Don't sweat it, pal. I think people will forget it very quickly" the bartender said.
The TV displayed breaking news with Joyce Kinney now in charge (Tom was absent).
We interrupt this program for some breaking news.
TV Cutaway
"Action Models have become one of the most hated movies of the year and women all over America were outraged for this"
We see several women of different age and race expressing their rage.
"This movie regressed decades of women empowerment. Don't be surprised if they negate us the vote!" an African American woman said.
"No parent should let their children watching this garbage" a mother carrying a baby said.
"One night I caught my younger brother masturbating watching a pirated version of the movie while wearing my underwear! That was completely disgusting!" a teenage girl said.
Back to the newsroom.
"Looks like Action Models is anything but a role model" Joyce commented "Okay, who wrote this lame line? Mandy, looking at you"
TV Cutaway's end
"Ouch" the bartender commented "Sorry, kiddo"
"That's fine".
Eddie finished his beer and put ten bucks as a tip.
"I'll go back to my hotel" Eddie said "See you around"
As Eddie was walking down the streets as it was starting to rain. Then he turned around and he saw a sex toys store called 'In N' Out'. Out of curiosity, he went there. The owner was a tattooed stoner with a nose ring.
"Welcome to In N' Out, not to be confused too that burger joint. What are you looking for? The Sex Toys owner asked.
"I feel depressed and making love with my wife makes me feel better" Eddie said.
"So, you wanna feel oppressed? I got this from China".
He took out a black dominatrix lingerie with a black dildo attached and a tight black rubber female sized suit.
"This will make your woman feel like a hardcore bitch and you'll get the perks of being her bitch"
"How much it costs?"
"$500, but for you, $475"
"I'll give you $500"
Eddie came out with a shopping bag. Then he accidentally crashed against a white short-haired business woman of her mid 50's. The crash also made Eddie dropping the bag.
"Hey, watch out!" the woman said.
"Sorry, ma'am" Eddie apologized.
"Wait a minute, aren't you Eddie Walker? The academy award nominee film director?" the woman asked.
"Uh…yeah" Eddie answered "You really love Jesus Christ, didn't you?"
"I didn't watch it, I hate Christian movies. But I did seen Action Models. What an empowerment movie"
"Uh…yeah?"
Then the woman saw what was inside of Eddie's bag.
"Whoa, you're making a sequel?"
"No! This is for me and my wife! God, I'm so embarrassed"
"You shouldn't be embarrassed. You should be proud that your sexuality reflects what women should be: confidence about themselves"
"Really? Women journalists called Action Models one of the most misogynistic movies of all time"
"Pfft, stupid millennials, they're oversensitive as hell. By the way. My name is Jane E. Cooper and I'm a manager"
"What kind of manager?"
"You know, some agent looking for talents who help them on their careers"
"Like a talent agent?"
"Not like a talent agent, these people are disposable. A manager is forever"
"Oh"
"Look, I'll get you a role for a movie or TV Show. Here's my card" she gives him her card "You're gonna be more famous than the Ultimate Heroes who saved the Earth several times"
She continued her way.
"Whoa, that was unexpected" Eddie commented as he looked at us "In case you wonder how did we defeat Victor Creed, here's your answer"
Flashback
Axel in his dragon form slammed Victor several times with his tail. He incinerated him with his blue flames and finally ate him.
*Blech*
"Damn, vengeance tastes good!"
"Three stars, four to go" Cindy commented.
"Yeah, we're so OP, I don't know why heroes like the Avengers or the Justice League struggle on saving the world" Meg commented.
Flashback's end
Eddie got back to his hotel. He was talking with Meg on the phone.
"Hey, honey" Eddie called.
"Hi, dear! How was the interview?" Meg asked.
"I'd rather not to talk about it. How's our little princess?"
"She's now in bed. She looks like an angel when she sleeps"
"Good to hear that…"
"What's the matter? You sound like a depressed horse"
"Meg, can I ask you a question?"
"What is it?"
"Who am I?"
"What?"
"Who am I? Some loser film director who career is on thin ice?"
"Are you thinking of the latest movie's failure? Come on, it's not a big deal"
"Not a big deal? This is Hollywood! Anything you do is gonna be treated like a big deal!"
"You're stressed, you need some rest"
"What if I didn't make this movie for fun? What if I make it for…something else?"
"Like a way to promote your mother's lingerie? The only product placement I saw was the fight scene in the Dunkin' Donuts. And I thought the Krispy Kreme one from the Power Rangers movie was shameful".
"Again…who am I?"
"You are my husband and the father of the most beautiful girl in the Universe. That's all what it matters"
"Maybe…good night, honey"
"Good night, dear"
They both hanged off as Eddie looked at the card Jane gave him. He put a face of determination. He used the phone number to call her.
"Hi?" Jane asked.
"Jane E. Cooper? This is Eddie Walker. I want you to be my manager"
End of chapter
(A/E: Sorry for the short chapter. I promise next one will be longer. I hope you enjoyed this).