MUST READ (Introduction): I'm telling you guys now that this story will be ANGSTY. I've always wanted to try my hand at writing an angsty story and this is what I had come up with. So for future reference, please don't complain about how I'm cruel, heartless, and blah blah blah. From beginning to the end, this story will be FULL OF ANGST.
Also, Jacob DOES NOT imprint on Bella at any point of this story. Nope. Not at all. You'll see where I'm going with this as it progresses.
I "think" that the story line of this story is pretty original. I've read so many Jacob/Bella stories on fanfiction already and I've never come across a story line like this one before... well, yet. If you happen to read something a lot like this story line, then tell me so I can remove my claim on it being original :D
I'm also telling you now, that the twist of this story is so UNBELIEVABLE that you may want to kill me. Yes, it's that bad. Trust me, Bella is going to suffer a whole lot in this story. Jacob, on the other hand, hmm, you'll see. In most of my stories, I make the Cullens bad guys. Oh yes, I do :) But in this story, there will be no Edward bashing and the Cullens will actually take part in Bella's healing process.
Wait, healing process? Hmm, I just gave you guys a clue there :D
And... HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME! This is my gift to you guys and myself for a whole year of being a member and part of fanfiction. There are so many of you that have been with me ever since I made my first story, this is for you guys! I could have never gotten where I am now without all of you. I love you guys!
Without further adieu, I introduce to you Keep Holding On!
Summary: He had helped her move on. He had taught her to love again. He had been the one to fix her broken heart. But now, he is going to be the one to tear her apart.
"The thing about the sun is it's always there. Like sometimes, you can't see it, but it
never really goes away. I'll always be here for you too, Bella. I'll never go away"
- Jacob Black
Chapter 1: My Sun
Bella POV
Edward left me. I'm alone, cold, and unloved.
Not willing to live, I stayed on the frozen dirt floor unmoving. I let out a small whimper from my small, blue lips. I closed my eyes shut, enjoying the feeling of pain. It's the only thing that made me remember how much I love him, how much I need him. It's the only thing that allowed me to know that he was real.
My mind flashed back to all the times he told me that he loved me. How I wish that I had known that they were only lies. He shouldn't have left me! He loves me! Those words were far from the truth and I knew it. They are now only hopes that I know will never be fulfilled. He had said it himself. I don't love you.
For the first time since he left, I allowed the sobs to escape me. I cried for Edward, for Charlie, and for myself. I shrieked in pain of it all, clutching at my chest. I wrapped my arms around my stomach as I tried to prevent the bile that threatened to crawl up back my throat. "Why?" I shouted up into the sky. "Why?" I repeated, this time in a hushed tone.
I could feel myself losing consciousness. I fought to keep my eyes open. If I'm going to die, I want to be awake for it. I don't want to take the risk of forgetting all that has happened to me.
The cold, breezy air was wrapping itself around my body, suffocating the air from my lungs.
"Bella!" I heard someone shout from a great distance. I opened my mouth to tell them to go away, but all that came out was a shaky whimper. I want to die! Leave me be! "Bella!" I heard again, this time the voice was much closer.
"D-d-don't," I managed to get out in a stutter.
"Oh Bella," the voice whispered with sadness in its voice. I don't want your pity! I want to die! I felt myself being lifted into the arms of a strong man. I clutched his chest, hoping that I could possibly hurt him. "You're only hurting yourself," he told me.
"W-who are y-you?" I stuttered once again. The cold had managed to numb my body, not allowing myself to feel anything physical.
"I am Samuel Uley. Your father called for a search team for you and I'm the leader of it. We have been looking for you for hours. What happened to you?" he asked with slight anger in his voice. I shied away from his question. I didn't want to relive what had happened to me.
"No," I refused.
"We can't help you if you don't tell us what happened," he sighed. Why do you care? They didn't care! Why should you?
"I didn't want your help," I snapped, my voice now stronger. "I wanted to die and I still want to die. You should have just left me there to die!" I shouted at him. I looked up and saw anger and frustration flash across his eyes.
"And what about Charlie? Are you so selfish that you don't care about how he would feel?" he shot at me, at a dangerously controlled, calm voice. I could sense the viciousness behind his tone. Suddenly, guilt flashed through my body and I let out a loud, heartbreaking scream. Charlie! Oh Charlie, how could I have forgotten about you! "Shit Bella," Sam panicked.
"I'm fine. I just – " I didn't have any more strength in me to finish my sentence.
"He really messed you up, didn't he?" he whispered wretchedly. No!
"Don't speak of him!" I shrieked. My chest heaved up and down, my heart beating erratically beneath it. Pain threatened to crawl through my heart once again. I have had enough!
"Bella!" I heard the familiar voice of my father yell.
"She's alright," Sam assured him. No, I am not. I'm broken, cold, and unwanted. Sam transferred me into the arms of my dad.
"Bells," my dad whispered in a heartbreaking tone. "Thank you Sam. I owe you my life," he pledged to the man who had saved me. I curled into my father's embrace, holding onto his shirt for dear life. Don't leave me too! Please!
"It was no trouble Chief. I was only doing my job," Sam nodded. I knew he didn't care! No one does!
"What happened to my sweet, little daughter?" my dad murmured to himself. I heard his shoes clang against the wooden stairs of our home. He laid me gently on my bed and brushed the offending hair from my face. "Honey," he whispered.
He was about to pull away but I grabbed onto his neck. "No! Please don't leave me too! Please!" I pleaded, as I sobbed in fear.
"I would never leave you Bella! Never," he promised me. He laid on the bed with me and wrapped his arms around me. I cried for hours into his shirt. "Shhh," he hushed softly. I curled into his body and buried my head in his chest. "I love you Bella," he whispered lovingly.
"I love you too dad," I replied in a raspy voice. My throat was hurting from all the screams and sobs that shook throughout my body. He gently rubbed my back soothingly and I don't know how, but I found it in myself to willingly dip into the dark abyss.
I ran and ran, not allowing myself to stop. I was barefoot and the twigs and branches on the ground had cut me deeply. Trees and shrubs came to me as nothing but flashes of brown and green. "Edward!" I shouted through the forest. "Please don't do this!" I pleaded.
I came to a stop as I saw him standing under a ray of sunlight. He stood magnificently. His skin sparkled like diamonds and he gave me the crooked smile that I loved. Suddenly, he wasn't what he was before. His eyes shone in a dark red color and his smile turned into a vicious hiss.
"I. Don't. Love. You," he growled, emphasizing each word. I thrashed and screamed.
"Edward!" I shrieked.
I jumped up from my bed and breathed heavily. Sweat covered my whole body. I realized that it had only been a dream. I looked to my side and saw that my dad was no longer there. No, no, no! He can't have left me too!
"Dad!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, before falling into a fit of cries. I grabbed my pillow and threw it across the room. Soon enough, my bedroom door slammed open.
"Bella!" my dad shouted quickly in worry. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were blood shot red. I jumped off of the bed and threw myself into his arms.
"I thought you left me too," I cried into his shirt. He cupped my cheeks and forced me to look into his eyes.
"I promised you that I would never leave you Bella and I intend to keep that promise," he said firmly. I nodded, allowing the tears to flow freely down my cheeks. "Let's get you back to sleep," he added. He laid us together in the bed and kept me by his side. "I also promise to kill that bastard who did this to you," he whispered angrily.
I stared out the window. I saw children playing in their front porches, women gardening their yards, and couples swinging down the road happily. I hated them. I envied them. For months, I've done nothing but wallow in my room as I watched the lives of other people. Their happy lives. They didn't have a care in the world. They lived. They laughed. They smiled. They were whole, as I was not.
I heard the small creak of my bedroom door, but I didn't mind it. "Bella, this had gone on for too long," my dad stated. "I'm sending you back to Florida," he added forlornly.
My eyes widened in fear, realization hitting me like a lightning bolt. "No! I won't let you! I want to stay here!" I shouted at him. His eyes sparkled with tears.
"Your mom and I have been so worried for you. You hardly eat anymore. You don't go anywhere but school and even then you aren't talking to your friends. Your grades have been dropping. I'm so worried," he whispered heartbreakingly.
"I'll do whatever you want. Just, please!" I begged him. He nodded slowly.
"First, I want you to eat and you better eat a lot," he commanded. I nodded. Second, I want you to go out, be with your friends, and have fun. I don't like that all you ever do nowadays is mope around," he said sadly, "Lastly, your grades need to improve. Senior year is fast and approaching. You can't get to a good college without good grades." I also nodded at his last demands. There's no point in going to college if there isn't even any point to my life.
"I'm sorry dad," I whispered as I went over to him to give him a hug. I really am sorry.
"Let's go somewhere to eat," he announced. I nodded. We sat in the cruiser and drove around in a comfortable silence. I realized that we had passed by a sign that said we were now entering La Push. And just like that memories flashed through my eyes.
"So they're like vampires or something?" I joked to Jacob. He laughed and gave me a warm smile. I liked the way he made me feel. It was almost as if I was as light as a feather.
"That's what everyone in the Rez thinks, but you don't have to worry about that Bella. They're only stories," he pointed out. I chuckled and nodded at him.
"I hope so"
I clutched my stomach. "Where are we going?" I asked in a pained voice.
"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.
"Just answer my question," I replied harshly. I gulped audibly realizing what I had just done. "I'm sorry," I apologized.
"It's alright," he assured, though I could sense the shock in his voice. "Billy invited us for dinner at his house. If that's alright," he replied.
"It's alright," I agreed. Maybe being with Jacob could help me forget about Ed – him, for now. Charlie parked on the dirt floor in front of the Black's house. We got out of the car and walked up the front steps. I heard the squeals of wheels on wood. Ahh, it must be Billy.
"Hey old man," Charlie joked.
"Who are you calling old?" Billy retorted. They both laughed but Billy abruptly stopped as his eyes landed on me. "Bella, it's nice to see you," he said warmly.
"Likewise Billy," I managed to give him the best smile I could, though it was not much. Sadness flashed through his face but he quickly covered it up. Too late.
"Jacob's in the garage. Would you mind calling him up for dinner?" he asked.
"No problem," I shook my head. I took a deep breath and walked over to the small hut that was placed beside the house. As I neared it, I heard labored breathing and the sounds of metal against metal. "Hey Jake!" I greeted, way too loudly even for my own liking.
A loud bump attracted my attention. "Shit," he cursed rubbing his forehead.
For the first time in six months, I laughed.
So, how'd you like the first chapter? Angsty, huh? Told you so :D
Don't worry, the story gets more interesting in the next few chapters.
Another WARNING: the first maybe 15 chapters (?) or so will be very FAST PACED. Meaning, in between chapters, it may skip a couple days, a week, two weeks, one month, etc. You get the idea, right? I'm trying to build a background between Jacob and Bella before I get right into the main plot of the story. So, yeah :)
YES, this story ends happily! So, no worries :]
Please put this story on STORY ALERT and keep updated!
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