Declare: I don't own the show, I only own the story.
"It's like I can't even feel after the way you touched me, I'm not asleep but I'm not awake after the way you loved me"
Adam Lambert – Sleep walker
There he sat on the old dust filled motel chair, covering his face
With his hands, tear's leaking through his tired blood covered fingers.
Sobbing loud enough to be heard a mile away. Sam is crying his heart out
"This isn't fair" screamed the young hunter to the serine
Darkness surrounding him, he tries to stand up desperately
Relaying on the closest chair arm for support, as he barley
Stands. Taking couple shaky steps, slipping slowly
To lay on the ground next to his trust worthy sharp blade,
The only thing that's keeping his company. Lifting it from the
Dirty floor with his right hand, "Sorry" he whispers to the
Empty air and with one swift move he creates a slender long cut
Through his other arm. Adding a new reminder of his long
Lived suffer to the other cut's, "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry" he
Repeats to the ghost that's hunting him, the crimson colored
Liquid flood's from the cut and suddenly, he feels the urge to do more. He had to carve his arms with reminders.
Reminders for what he is and the damage he did.
"You'll never know what your words do to me" he shouts to the
Shadow in his head, a shadow he had to see every day.
This is Lucifer's new form of torture. Repeating the heartless words
That had been said to him, and it never failed to break him, it made him cry
And cringe in pain, pain that fills his heart mind and soul, if
His own brother thinks he's a monster, and then what will other people think?
A low squeaking voice is heard from the back of the room
But Sam is too deep in his unpleasing thoughts to notice anything around him.
"I'm back Sammy" Dean Say's naïvely, not knowing what's
Going on with his younger sibling, And still Sam is in his trance
Not having a clue that his brother is finally back.
And the next thing Sam knows is his brother Fright-filled stare
, "Wait, This is really him?" Sam whispers to himself.
"W-wait Dean, it's not what you think" rushes the youngest
One of the two saying, he knows that tears are covering his face
, he knows the Dean noticed the scars, but maybe, perhaps
Dean won't say anything, and he realize it's a false hope when
Sam watched as he started walking closer. "Why? "He hears him whisper
With a broken voice and sadness filled eyes. Eyes that once
Were cold and warm while they stared at him, "'Cuz I deserve it"
Came Sam's reply with a shrug, it shocks Dean the way his
Brother says It, just like he's saying that 1+1=2, "why?! Why you'd think that? "
The older one try's to ask, he has to stay still, to show Sam
That he can help him, "Cuz you said so" he feels the strong
Urge to cry, to scream at his brother. He has a big mouth
And he always says useless shit, he didn't mean it, he never
Did mean anything he said, " I never meant that Sammy " he try's
To soothe his not-so-little-anymore brother, "I know" Sam`
Whispers back, "I'm sorry" Sam follow's his words with a sob
"It's okay, I'm here" Dean continue soothing his pained little brother
Sitting next to Sam, wrapping a strong arm around him, and
His little brother can't help but lean into his touch, " P-promise me you'll never leave"
Sobs Sam with so much desperation in his voice that make's his brother's
Stomach twist into a knot, Dean is sitting next to someone deferent
Someone broken. "I promise .., 'nd you're hiding somethin' Sammy "
Sam cringes and moves closer next to his brother and whispers
"I can't tell you D', you'll hate me if I – " the young burrnet sentence
Was interrupted by his brother's soft lips on his own,
Calming him with a soft, emotion filled Longley awaited kiss
, it Lasted couple of minute before Sam broke the kiss in need of air
And a proper explanation from his beloved one, "W-what was that?"
Asks Sam clearly stunned, "it's called a kiss, and you don't
Have to hate yourself Sammy, hate me, you don't deserve
Being hurt in anyway " and with getting this off his chest he
Creases Sam's cheek and bends down for an another breath taking kiss
This one lasted allot more than the last one, and this time Dean
Broke the kiss and let his brothers tired head lay on his own chest
Sam closed his eyes, and left Dean to stitch him up, Curing more
Then the simple wounds on his arm, his brother just sued the
Sharp broken pieces of his heart back together, maybe helping
Him heal the regret and hatred in him, though the only thing
That matters now that Dean is here with him, to help him, be
There for him, and to love him... maybe it won't last forever
And maybe Dean has only three more months to live, he always
Knew it will never be perfect, but having his brother next to him
Is better than nothing, those were the younger hunter's last
Thoughts as he fell asleep on his true lover's chest, with tears
In his eyes, and a ghost of a smile on his lips unshed