I hadn't given much thought on how I would die but dying in the place of someone I love seemed like a pretty good way. That is until after the James incident.
As I lay in the ballet studio bleeding, with the venom burning its way through my veins, I had an epiphany of sorts. My life played in slow motion through my pounding head. Images of Edward and I together, my childhood, my family, flitted playfully across my blackened vision. Emotions consumed me one right after another. Love. Regret. Sadness.
If I were truly being honest with myself, being on the brink of death seems like a good time to be honest with ones self, I really didn't love Edward. I don't think I every really had. I had fallen in love with the idea of love.
Edward in his own right was a great guy, a little overprotective, but sweet. That's what drew me in. Or maybe it was his mysterious loner image that lured me in or maybe it was the danger he represented.
And let's face it before him no other guy would look my way, besides idiots like Mike Newton. Me being me I wait to the moment of my impending death I realize the man I was willing to, literally, give my life for wasn't even my true love. What a time to come to a life changing conclusion. No pun intended.