"Max's Tidbits of Evil!"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Total Drama or any of its characters. Total Drama and its characters are owned by FreshTV, Jennifer Pertsch and Tom McGillis. Anyway, I'd figured I'd do something very similar to McGinty's331's fic, The Red Forman Tidbit Minute (it's on That 70's Show). But this time, it'll feature everyone's favorite fake evil-doer, Max! And these are his 'evil' tidbits where he'll tackle the pressing issues and cover various topics! All in all, enjoy!

Chapter 1: Introduction

Max is sitting in his chair in the living room with a smile on his face.

"Greetings, my foul cretins!" Max exclaimed. "It is I, your future ruler of the world Max! And I welcome you to my evil tidbit show, where I'll cover every topic that you smelly cretins can throw at me! I'll talk to you about everything that's in the world today, including things I'll destroy you with, that horrible dreaded pop music, a list of morons that should bow down to me, and babies! Not to mention the evil stuff as well! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, I'll introduce you to the rest of the fools."

Topher then appears out of nowhere, looking like his usual egotistical self while showing off from the camera.

"Hey everyone, this is the future host of Total Drama here!" Topher replied. "And of course, the real star of Max's Evil Tidbit-"

"No, you are not!" Max snapped at him. "Only I am the real evil star! You're just a bit player, foul cretin!"

Suddenly, Max shoves Topher out of the way, sending him off camera. Meanwhile, he focused right on the camera, finishing out the rest of his introduction.

"Not to mention we'll also have the giant black woman and his useless zombie boyfriend!"

Both Jasmine and Shawn enter behind Max.

"Hey mates, it's glad to be here!" Jasmine waved to the camera.

"Zombies will be on the loose!" Shawn shouted to the camera. "Be careful of them! They'll will strike sooner than you think!"

"No one cares about your conspiracy theories, you shaggy-haired fool!" Max exclaimed. "Begone, you dolts!"

After Jasmine and Shawn left, Max heads over to his kitchen where he sees his EVIL 'confidant' Scarlett reading a science magazine.

"And of course, you have my trusty sidekick, Scarlett!"

"For the last damn time, I AM NOT YOUR SIDEKICK!" Scarlett's teeth clenched while yelling.

Just to get rid of him, Scarlett threw a steel pen at Max, therefore making him back away from her. Trying not to be embarrassed, Max turned to the camera again.

"Of course, there are other useless fools, but who would care about them?" Max smirked. "It is all about me and my evilness! So sit back, stay in your sleep and relax. These are my tidbits... of EEEEEEEEVILLLLLLL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

TV AD: He's bad, he's evil, and he's still short! Catch the evil mastermind Max for more evil tidbit minutes coming soon, so stay tuned!