Hi, I thought this up last night after I read a comic strip—a sprite comic, to be specific. I think it's sort of odd, but deal with. If you didn't like me you wouldn't have read this far.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha in any way, shape or form. Leave me the fuck alone.
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Trauma
Stupid One-Shot
Phantom Phire
~*~*~*~*~*~
The wind whistled hollowly through the reaching black branches of the tall surrounding trees, waving the limbs in the dark night. Black clouds loomed in the sky, foreshadowing what was undoubtedly a fierce storm. The cold breeze blew into the small village, howling quietly as it roamed on. However, it woke few people in the gloomy undiscerning landscape.
One of them being a small fox demon.
"I-It's c-c-cold Kagome—Kagome?" The little boy opened his eyes and found himself snuggled into the a soft nest of dark blue material—without his foster mother.
Now, he would never normally admit it, but he was terribly scared of dark and stormy nights like this. Where's Kagome? And Miroku, and Sango? Inuyasha? The poor kitsune looked wildly around him, finding none of his companions. Not even Kirara? What's g-going on?! I'm scared!
The fox-boy darted out of Kagome's sleeping bag, running in circles around the dying campfire before realizing he was going no where. Naraku's demons are going to eat me!! He wailed silently in his mind, before remembering that naraku no longer existed. But then the ghosts are gonna get me! The already got Miroku and Sango and Kagome and Kirara and even Inuyasha! Kaede's hut isn't too far away, but it's through the woods. . .
Shippo looked at the path leading to the welcoming thought of running to Kaede, but promptly squished the idea as the bleak forest with waving limbs that remarkably resembled a monster's claws loomed over his tiny form.
"Oh, home on the range where the buffalo roam and the antelope play~" His ears perked as the sound of singing reached them. "That's Sango and Miroku!" He cried in relief. Hurriedly he stared running to the source of their voices—
And found both of them with equally red faces, one arm looped 'round the other's shoulder, the other clutching what looked like bottles of sake, singing in loud, off-key tones.
"Show me the way to do home
I'm tired and wanna go to bed
I had me a drink 'bout an hour ago
And it's gone right to my head!"
The pair sang together. Suddenly they broke apart as Sango tripped over a rock, started giggling, and started poking a concerned and disturbed-looking Kirara.
"Miroku, isn't the weather lovely?" She asked Kirara.
"Yes, mommy, the sky is a lovely shade of maroon this morning, but I'd like my blood-flavored ice cream with a bit of radish because it's sticky warm in my mouth shaped orifice!"
"Orifice?" She gasped, grabbing Kirara and opening her jaws to peer inside as the shocked cat mewled loudly in protest. "ALIEN!"
Miroku suddenly started running in circles. "I gotta keep running! If I stop running the furry aliens from many stars beyond will steal my brain and bring my doom!" He shouted as he ran in circles, nimbly leaping over Sango's body as she continued poking her pet in fascination.
Shippo, not knowing the influences of alcohol, just thought they were acting a little odd. "Miroku!" He cried, bounding over to the running priest, "Stop! Stop!"
Of course, Miroku saw Shippo first. . .
And saw. . .
A furry alien from many stars beyond that wanted to stop so it could steal his brain and bring impending doom!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Miroku screamed. "YOU'LL NEVER GET MY BRAIN! NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" Gripping his staff like a baseball bat, he smacked Shippo far, far away.
"Listen to the crowd roar! That was a grand slam courtesy of Monk Miroku!" Sango announced in an announcer voice to the exuberant monk, who was currently doing a little victory dance, before dropping her head down and poking an ugly mushroom.
Together the two watched as Shippo's form flew wailing away, turning into a star like team rocket in Pokemon in every single freakin episode. "Oh say, can you see!" Miroku sang with his hand over his heart. "By the dawn's early light! What so proudly we hailed as the twilight's last gleaming. . ."
As he finished with a flourished bow Sango applauded him valiantly before going back to prodding a toad with a ugly mushroom.
--*--
Meanwhile, Shippo had managed to land on his feet on the ground. Sharp rocks cut his paws, but at least he hadn't landed on his butt; that would have been even more painful! The young kitsune cried for help, but there was no answer.
Worst of all, it started raining.
A fat drop of cold water landed on his nose. Looking up into the sky, he heard thunder roar and saw lightening roll across the frozen tundra of the air. "Oh, oh," he wailed as rain started pelting down in thick sheets. "Where am I gonna go? Kaede isn't gonna be in her hut, she's off on a trip to heal a lord's daughter so then I'll still be alone!"
More water came showering from the heavens as he spoke aloud, drenching his fur.
Why, kami, why? He pleaded silently, weighing his choices.
1) Stay in the rain and get sick.
2) Go find Miroku and Sango and stay with them.
3) Run through a very dark and scary forest filled with kami knows what sorts of kitsune-kit eating monsters and other predatory youkai/animals that would love to eat his brains for desert, and find Kaede's hut and try to live not being smacked around by a drunken monk, all alone, shivering in a dark corner attempting to dry his soaking clothes and fur with his tiny flame.
Sighing wearily, the frightened fox began to sprint towards the forest to the village on the other side.
--*--
Meanwhile, with Miroku and Sango. . .
"Ten million bottles of sake on the wall, ten million bottles of sake, take one down, pass it around, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of sake on the wall!" Sango sang.
She'd abandoned poking the toad with her mushroom, instead attempting to feed the mushroom to a very pissed off and wet cat, resulting in scratches on both her and Miroku.
"I'm dancing. . . in the rain!" Miroku sang as he gracefully leaped from onto his toes into a puddle. Unfortunately, the priest had never taken ballet lessons, and so they heard a resounding crack as the un-priest like priest fell to his feet.
"Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-eight bottles of sake on the wall!" Sango continued as she cracked a sake bottle over his head.
--*--
Back to Shippo. . .
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The little boy cried as he managed to detangle himself from a bush. "I knew this was a horrible idea!" he sniffled to himself, wiping his eyes and nose.
Shoulda listened to me.
Let me guess, you're my inner conscious like in every other cliché fanfiction?
Yup. Like I said, shoulda listened to me and NOT gone through this stupid forest.
Then what SHOULD have I done?
Stay with Miroku and Sango.
"NINE HUNDRED NINETY-NINE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED FORTY-TWO BOTTLES OF BEAR ON THE WALL!!" Sango's voice boomed.
"I'M A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS! WATCH ME DANCE!!" Miroku squealed at a frequency high enough to shatter glass.
. . .fine.
Hah.
Inner battle like in every other cliché fiction like this finished, Shippo fought his way through the equally fighting forest. Success! Sirens, bells, and every other noise maker known to mankind rang in his head as he stumbled into the outskirts of the village.
"Kaede's hut!" He yelled joyfully, bounding towards it as fast as his little legs could bound. I'm saved!!!! His mind screamed at him. He leaped through the window, landing on the rough table top when—
--he heard a loud moaning. . .
Emerald eyes frozen huge, he crouched down and made himself as small as possible as he scanned the dark hut. In the corner of the room, on a futon there were two dark shapes moving together—
--who's scent he instantly recognized as Kagome's and Inuyasha's as he heard another loud moan.
Poor, poor Kitsune.
Shippo= o0o
The frantic and wide-eyed fox looked frantically around the room he guessed the only reason Inuyasha hadn't smelled him yet was because he was too 'busy' with Kagome and the fact that he was soaking wet.
Finding no area to escape too, the little fox leaped to the rafters, his fingers clawing at the rough wooden beams as he climbed to his goal—
--and fell to the ground. He was too short.
Spying a netted bag holding some sort of bulbous herb. Hanging onto the dangerously swaying bag, he watched in terrified horror as the strings connecting the bag to the rafters stretched, and sighed in relief as it went taut and held.
Moan.
His ears twitched as he shuddered, trying his hardest not to scream in agony.
You would too if you found your foster mother masturbating with a guy that you strongly dislike.
Glancing outside, he saw that the storm was letting up. He'd rather be anywhere in the world other than this hut right now; getting caught up in Inuyasha's anger would be a very stupid thing to do. He craned his neck to get a good view of the window sill, released his hand's grips on the netting and twisted to leap for the sill.
There was a minor difficulty, however, when he suddenly swung through the air, nearly chopping his tongue in half biting it to retain his scream as he hung upside down. One of his feet were caught in the netting, twisted around his heel.
He immediately felt the blood start rushing to his head and making the world swirl around in dizzy circles. He couldn't set the bag on fire to free himself, because the light would attract attention, and he couldn't move at all, lest bang into the walls on his sides and cause MORE attention.
Almost groaning out loud, he hung there in tortured agony.
--Six hours later—
Dawn was breaking when the strings on the bag finally snapped, sending the dead tired fox to the floor with a thump. It was the gray before dawn as the kitsune lay there, dazed, before springing to his feet and running as fast as his paws would take him.
--Next Morning—
Kagome yawned as she stretched, straightening her crumpled clothes that had been tossed aside in last nights events. Mumbling good morning to the hanyou that was hastily dressing besides her, she kissed him quickly before stumbling outside.
Shock filled her face, and Inuyasha's as he strolled outside and found Miroku and Sango laying in a heap, snoring loudly, empty bottles of sake scattered around the two.
"S-sango?" She squeaked.
Sango woke with a start. Instantly she turned red, finding herself underneath Miroku, before she kicked him off her and woke him in the process. "W-what's going on?" she cried, shaking her head.
"Look at the pretty stars, mommy. . ." Miroku groaned sleepily.
"Where's the brat?" Inuyasha yawned as he strode over to Miroku, kicking up the monk with the hangover.
"Dunno. . . Think I saw him last night. . ." Miroku answered.
Kagome was finally able to speak. "You guys went out and drank?" She blurted out.
Sango turned a lovely shade of crimson as Miroku began to explain. "I went out to celebrate the loss of this hell-hole with a drink, and I'm afraid I may have. . . excuted a few un-priestly things. So, Sango came to get me, but she ended up drinking too."
Kagome and Inuyasha turned incredulous eyes to Sango, who hurriedly looked away and pointed to the base of a tree. "Oh, look! There's shippo!" She cried, changing the subject.
The group walked over to the wet ball of fur. "Eh. . . Shippo?" Kagome asked cautiously, touching him. The dazed Kitsune suddenly twitched, his eyes remaining glassed over and empty.
"I believe he's traumatized," Miroku observed.
"Shippo?" Sango tried, reaching to touch the fox.
Shippo twitched violently, curling into a tiny ball and starting to sing in a off-key voice, never blinking once as he twitched back and forth.
"No—body knows. . . The trouble I've seen. . ."
~*~*~*~*~*~END~*~*~*~*~*~
Yup, that's it. He's traumatized. You would be too if. . .
1) You woke up in the middle of the dark and stormy night
2) The guy you usually hang around on smacked you away screaming something about aliens
3) The sanest girl in the group singing the ten million bottles song. . .
4) Your foster mother and the guy you strongly dislike were masturbating in the one place you ran away too
5) You attempt to hide and instead hang from the ceiling for six hours
So, I'm done. That's all I'm doing. It's short, I know, but deal with it. Seven pages is good enough. That's how long my story chapters USED to be.
Please R & R.
~Signed,
PhAnToM PhIrE