BEGINNING OF THE DC FANFICVERSE

In the beginning, God and a man named Bob Kane played rugby that would decide the creation of the DC verse

God won…by a landslide. 1,500,000 points

Thus, in the crucible of the big bang the verse was born

First Krypton was built… then it exploded, rendering all forms and colors of Kryptonite completely useless

However, Krypton's next door neighbor had a very, very, very, VERY long delay to its demise

It exploded on the day Metropolis and Gotham were city neighbors

The rocket containing Superman landed in the Kent farm. You know this by now

Some kid's parents got shot dead by a thug in an alley

Then said orphaned kid got adopted by QUEEN HIPPOLYTA

More on her later

Hippolyta birthed a new baby girl named Diana. Diana grew from Wonder Baby, to Wonder Toddler, to Wonder Girl, to Wonder Teenager, and finally to Wonder Woman

Bruce grew from orphan to first Amazon child and to well the GODDAMN BATMAN

Clark Kent grew from country redneck to awkward guy to SUPERMAN

SUPERMAN had one and only ONE WEAKNESS… girly magazines, man's very own kryptonite

SUPERGIRL, on the other hand was adopted by QUEEN HIPPOLYTA and her Amazons

SUPERGIRL also suffered a MAJOR BRAIN INJURY upon landing on Earth

If this reminds you of a certain anime show in particular, then no kidding

FYI- Supergirl does NOT, REPEAT DOES NOT HAVE AN EVIL AUNT OR IS PLAYED BY AN ACTRESS FROM GLEE BUT VOICED BY THE ACTRESS FROM GLEE AND MADE MUCH MORE SILLIER AND GOOFIER THAN HER TV COUNTERPART. SUCK IT CBS

SUPERGIRL has one and only ONE WEAKNESS…abstinence.

Why abstinence? Because SUPERGIRL is…BISEXUAL

WONDER WOMAN later found out she's JEWISH

WORLD WAR TWO ENDED REALLY QUICKLY WHEN ADOLF HITLER DIED IN A FAILED BOMBING, AND IN 1945 THE ADOLF HITLER THAT TRIED TO SHOOT HIMSELF WAS ACTUALLY AN ACTOR WHO WAS HIRED BY HOLLYWOOD TO IMPERSONATE HITLER FOR THEIR FIRST EVER DOCUMENTARY

THE DOCUMENTARY WON MANY AWARDS

IT EVEN WON BEST PICTURE, EVEN BEATING SOME STUPID ANIMATED MOVIE ABOUT A TALKING PUPPET AND A VERY ANNOYING CRICKET

Later…

SUPERMAN marries WHINY REPORTER LOIS LANE

BATMAN adopts BOY SCOUT DICK GRAYSON and makes him the first ROBIN

(little did BATMAN know, more ROBINS would soon follow…)

BATMAN's second ROBIN JASON TODD GOT BEATEN UP BY JOKER AND GOT KILLED IN A WAREHOUSE

(in reality, Joker got Jason Todd severely drunk, beaten him into a coma and ran off with his mother, pretending to light the warehouse on fire)

(Jason Todd survived and spent several years in rehab until adopted by QUEEN HIPPOLYTA)

SUPERGIRL grows from bright baby to bright child to not so bright and very, very, very, VERY STUPID woman who had only one sane and competent sister

(SUPERGIRL's birth parents were so stressed by SUPERGIRL's idiocy that they made Alex SUPERGIRL's legal guardian and both of them fled to Canada)

Some hot Italian bombshell migrated to America and became Gotham's all around sweetheart Helena Bertinelli. You know her as HUNTRESS

HUNTRESS became a much beloved schoolteacher at a child care school

HUNTRESS later fell in love with and married OLIVER QUEEN alias GREEN ARROW

HIPPOLYTA birthed DINAH WILLOW PRINCE, soon to be named BLACK CANARY

BLACK CANARY is destined to be PRINCESS OF THEMYSCIERA by ROYAL BLOOD

BATMAN adopts whiny geeky nerd TIM DRAKE and makes him the third ROBIN

The third ROBIN proves to be a major disappointment and also a major NERD

BATMAN tried several times to dispose of ROBIN because HES THE GODDAMN BATMAN

Some guy named BLACK MASK won custody over ROBIN in a $40,000,000 lawsuit

(little did BATMAN know he'd be working with BLACK MASK sooner than he'd think…)

DICK GRAYSON (remember him?) moved to some dirty crummy town named Bludhaven and married a pretty cop lady and birthed several illegitimate children

BATMAN sued the new couple for marrying without his permission because HES THE GODDAMN BATMAN

Some guys at a comic book company that shouldn't be named redesigned the DC verse and called it New 52

THE DC WORLD WAS OUTRAGED

HIPPOLYTA HIRED BLACK MASK, MR ZSASZ, POISON IVY, HUSH, CHARAXES, KILLER CROC, BATWOMAN, RIDDLER, AND SO MANY OTHER GUYS YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD OF TO JOIN HER NEWLY DESIGNED JUSTICE LEAGUE

In 2016, an American author named MR BRAM STOKER had the genius idea of making a fully syndicated fanfic comedy series revolving around the entire DC COMICS universe

Also in 2016, some lousy CBS show called Supergirl got cancelled along with an even more stupid show named Zoo