Whisper
in My Ear
Disclaimer- Digimon
and all its characters are not copyright me, but copyright Toei
Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish
they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright
me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies.
Author's Notes- A
Daiyako…from ME? Don't be so surprised. It's one of the few straight couplings
I will write…maybe the only one. Not saying that I don't like other straight
couplings, I just think that this might be the only one that I'd write. *sigh*
Yes, I know that I have many other series to finish…and I will, but I needed to
get this out of my head. It's sad…and Miyako makes some good POVs for sad
stories, at least, that's what I think. Anyway…no, I have not forsaken my
shounen ai/yaoi/shoujo-ai/yuri writings…those are still the majority of what I
write. This is just something different, okay? With that said…read on.
You're so smart in the dumbest
ways.
I know that's an oxymoron, but its so true. Your
theories on life sound so hair-brained…but now that I actually sit down and
think about them, they're correct.
I sit next to you on this rainy
day, while you're looking out of the window, a longing expression on your face.
I walk up to you, touching you on the shoulder. And I ask, "What are you
thinking about?"
You may not know this, but I
really do want to know. What's going on in that mind of yours, Daisuke? Its
funny…we've gone all this way, but I still don't know you. I feel like how I
did when I first met you.
I know you're not sad, but the
reflection of the glass on you gives you that….heartbroken look. I don't
know….like you just realized something. You look up to me, brushing some of
that ungodly wild burgundy hair out of your chocolate eyes as you reply. "Lot's
'o stuff. Hey Miyako?" You called me. You sound even a bit lost…but don't you
always sound that way? Tell me, are you always lost, Daisuke? I answer your calling.
"Hai?"
"What do you think we're here
for? I mean…sure, we have the digital world and all..but what about Earth?" And
you suddenly chuckle, averting your eyes back to the fogged window, the rain
cascading down the sills like tears. "One time I thought I was here to claim
Hikari. I was so stupid…yesterday. Now I know. But I wish…I could make her
smile the way Taichi or Takeru do. Before I realized this…Hikari was my
meaning to life. Now I'm just here. Why am I here?"
I shuffle my feet uncomfortably.
I would have never guessed this was going on in your mind…so simple and so
complicated. That's what I love about you, though. Its like…looking at a puzzle
and thinking that is so easy, so simple to figure out, and then realizing its
actually a huge challenge. That's what you are, Daisuke.
But….I've always loved puzzles.
I feel so stupid now. "Maybe we
don't really have a reason to be living here. I don't know…Daisuke, a person
can never be a reason to exist. At least, I can't believe that…"
"Well, I do…or at least, I did."
You smile at me, a small, almost melancholy smile. But I know you're not really
sad….I just don't know what exactly you are now. You're a chameleon with your
emotions. Changing their colors so people can't see how you really are.
"I still love her." You say. And
as much as that hurts to hear from you, I won't deny the truth. "And I don't
think I'll ever stop."
Stupid Daisuke.
Why won't you ever let go?
I'm sighing, looking away from
you. You're so oblivious…I know its kind of hard imagining me loving you,
because I've been in love with so many faces….but its always the one you least
expect…isn't it? Love doesn't have to have a reason! You should know that.
Why won't you open your eyes and
see my love?
But you continue to stare off
through the window and talk. "Miyako…you know what I've always wanted?"
"No, I don't know." I wish I
did, though. Even if I never showed it.
You look at me again, that
childish look going back into that older, more mature face of yours. That face
that's seen too much, too soon…it happened to all of us, really. But you
probably took it the worst. Now I know that you would say that its Iori that
had it the worst, because he was the youngest. But he was also much more mature
than you.
In many ways, Daisuke, you were
still just as young as he was, perhaps even younger.
And I still think you are.
You're looking away again,
almost like you're shy.
"I've…always wanted someone to,
well, you know…whisper in my ear. Like those people do when they're in
love…like on T.V…"
You don't know how much I want
that too.
You turn back to the clouded
window yet again. What you're staring at, I don't know. It's probably your
dreams of Hikari washing away with those tear like drops of water.
When the sun comes up again, and
the light dries up all of those washed dreams away…could you start some new
ones with me?
—
"Sorry guys, I'm gonna be staying back for this
trip!" You're waving to all of us as we are about to leave to the airport, to
go to America to visit Mimi.
"Why now? I thought you were
coming?" Hikari asks. I know why. Because he's still hurt by the thought of you
and Takeru together. I feel so angry with Hikari all of a sudden…but I won't
show it. Will I?
You flash us all of that grin of
yours. "I've got some last minute projects to do…I just realized that
yesterday. But I wanted to walk you guys here." You say. Stupid Daisuke. Stop
lying….you've been lying your entire life.
If only you had been lying about
Hikari.
They don't object too much to
your going. Except for me and Ken I guess….he being your best friend and me
being…
…what am I to you?
All I know is what I want to be.
And Daisuke…I just want to be part of your dreams. For once, I'd like to be the
one you have your eyes on…is that too much to ask?
Maybe it is. I can't do this. I
can't leave now…you're hurt and I know it. Maybe not as much as before, but
dammit Daisuke! You're still hurt, and I don't know what I'll do to do it…but
I'm going to heal that pain. I'm standing up.
"And where are you going?"
Hikari asks. I don't feel like answering her. I look at Ken and he nods. "Go
on, follow him. He might be gone already." And I do one of the things that
you've given up on for a while…
…I follow you. I follow my
dreams.
—
I catch you outside of the airport,
looking out to the sky….just like you had looked outside of the fogged up
window.
You're sad…for once, you
actually show how you're really feeling.
I don't know what to do.
Daisuke…why do you have to be so hard to figure out? I want you to be happy…but
then…I want you to be happy with me. Figures. Stupid selfish Inoue
Miyako…but I can't help it.
You haven't seen me yet, but I can hear you speak.
"Goodbye…" That's all you say, you could have said more, but that's all you
say. You're sad. But…I think I know how to make you at least, a little happy.
I'm coming from behind you and
wrapping my arms against your waist. You stiffen, but then you relax. I do the
only think I can think of doing…
"I've…always wanted someone to, well, you
know…whisper in my ear. Like those people do when they're in love…like on T.V…"
I whisper in your ear, "I love you."
Because, I do.
—
It's raining again.
But I won't leave you, even if I
can't walk further ahead. I watch as you pass by each tombstone, sitting down
to each of them….Ken, Takeru, Iori, Hikari….and I hear you say, "Why couldn't I
have gone down with you…? Why did I leave?"
Only about ten minutes after you
and I had left the airport, the same ride that they were on had crashed into
the depths below.
God. I can't go into the cemetery. I can't…you're
right, why didn't we just go with them? All of them…I still feel weak when I
hear Ken's name.
"Go on, follow him." He's the
one that encouraged me…and now…he and everyone else are gone.
Why? I can't handle suffering
like this…or seeing you suffer like this. I see you finally kneel by Hikari's
tombstone. You don't say anything; you just kneel and stare at the engraved
writing on it.
I can't leave…but I can't stay.
The tears are coming more now. But I'll try…to be strong, for your sake I'll
try to be strong.
How come once I find love in
someone….I lose the others?
"What do you think we're here
for?"
I find myself asking that exact question that you
had asked to me now.
I don't know.
You're still staring, but not
speaking. I slowly make my way towards you and kneel as well. "You still love
her."
I feel you collapse into my
arms, finally letting it out…the pain, the tears…the dreams. You don't have to
say it, but I know. You'll always love her.
The pain may never leave us, but
as I pull you closer to me, I know we'll be fine.
As long as we have our broken
dreams in the rain, we'll be fine.
As long as we have each other to
whisper in our ears, we'll be fine.