She felt like she was suddenly awakening from a long sleep, as though the weight had finally been lifted from her chest and she could breathe again. It was the first night's sleep in nearly a year that she woke up from feeling refreshed and energised, free of nightmares and feeling that the events of her past had never occurred. She could almost imagine that she could climb out of bed and run down the stairs to see her parents alive and well, Jeremy laughing and be the carefree teenager she spent her time pretending to be. It only took a few moments dreaming of such for it to fade away and be replaced by the memories she tried to block out; the car breaking through the water's surface, her parents' faces... darkness.
As Elena's mind flew through the last couple of years in a matter of seconds, she let out the breath she hadn't even realised she had been holding in. It was at that moment, 9:06 in the morning on a rainy Thursday, the 23rd of July, she decided that she would no longer let her past determine who she would be. The Elena of old was a thing of the past, and she was ready to start anew. She was reminded of the day she sat with Matt on Wickery Bridge, saying goodbye to her former self. Only this time, she wasn't just saying goodbye to who she had been while her parents were alive, she was saying goodbye to the Elena of recent; the Elena who had no choice in her own life, the Elena who could not simply depend on her own beliefs and thoughts. It's time for that to change.
It was around two months since the last time she had set eyes on Klaus. Acknowledging that she would need her freedom and her every movement not being policed or protected to lead the life he wished her to, to eventually continue the doppelganger bloodline, he set her free.
Free, my ass. Elena mused, scoffing at the thought. Klaus had loosened his control a notch, enough to leave Mystic Falls for a while and begin what she could only assume to be a murder spree down the middle of the country. As far as she was aware, he didn't exactly have any other hobbies. Despite his occasional letters to Caroline, or 'the psychotic ramblings of a lunatic', as her favourite blonde liked to refer to the missives, they had not heard a word from him since then. Elena could almost believe that he meant what he had promised, that she could live her life in peace. There was always that niggling doubt that wouldn't leave her though, that shadow on her shoulder that kept her from truly feeling free of his manipulations.
Since Klaus' sudden departure from their town, she had graduated along with those she had grown up with, released into the big wide world for the first time. Though it was only a week ago, she felt as though it had been months... At least with the routine and keeping up the act of a normal student she felt as though she had a little control in her life, as though it wasn't crumbling down around her. At least she had Jeremy; he was the main reason she could continue to wake up each morning and keep pushing on. Elena had come seconds within giving Damon permission to compel him and send him off to Denver. It was in those final seconds, however, that she could feel herself losing the last part of her family she cared about and that she decided if there was any day to be selfish, this was it. She couldn't bear to be without him, despite knowing deep down she should protect him and send him away somewhere safe.
Thinking of people she loved and couldn't be without, a smile broke out on her face. Bonnie and Caroline had been her saviours these past months. Having been through the hell of recent times by her side, they continued to stick by her. Sometimes they all sat and cried, not knowing how to deal with their pain; other times they drank until they were laughing and reminiscing about that time when Matt was four and he ran through the park in nothing but a colander helmet. They were tricky times currently, everyone healing from their own wounds, but together there was hope.
As Elena once more declined a call from Stefan, the third so far this morning she couldn't help but note, she could appreciate how much the girls had done for her. Stefan was currently switching madly between wallowing in his newly rediscovered humanity and feeling guilty for his murderous rampage, and being determined to win back her affections. They were at a stalemate- it wasn't so easy to forgive the supposed love of your life for threatening to drive you off of a bridge... and she didn't think she was being overly harsh in holding back there.
"Elena! Oi, are you up or not?!" Jeremy's shouts broke through into her thoughts, bringing her back to reality. She couldn't help but think she should probably cut down on her conversations with her inner self if she were to return to the land of the living. Chuckling quietly to herself, she realised how far she had come if she was even coming to that conclusion. To be fair though, who wouldn't be slightly screwed up in her position? Not to whine or anything, but she did have the oldest vampire in history on her back.
That was how Jeremy found her, still curled up in bed laughing to herself. To give credit where credit's due, he didn't say a word, only hung back in the door way until she noticed his presence. He'd certainly grown up in a very short amount of time, where once stood an angry young teenager now was a remarkably well turned out young man. Considering the circumstances, he'd done incredibly well. Elena always felt as though Alaric was the only reason they were both still sane. Without the older man's presence in the house, even if he was drunk and asleep half the time, life would be a lot different.
Deciding he'd given her long enough to notice him, Jeremy threw himself onto the unoccupied side of her bed.
"C'mon Jer, really?! Can you not put clothes on?" That was the only issue with her reformed sibling, she couldn't help but think. Since he and Bonnie had worked out their differences and he had put more time into his 'bulking up', as he referred to it, he seemed to have a problem with shirts. Elena had even resorted to offering to do his laundry for him if he was running out of clean clothes, but apparently her not so little brother just couldn't resist walking around half naked, staring at himself in the mirror. Could be worse, she concluded... At least he was alive and in (mostly) one piece.
"So..." She turned to him, offering him some duvet, "what's the big deal about today? You're on your summer holidays so surely you shouldn't be out of bed until mid-afternoon?"
"Nah, that's Ric's job. I'm here to make sure you make it to your new job today, wake up the dead and all that."
Elena had almost forgotten; deciding she needed a little drama-free time to figure out her future, she had applied for a part-time job at an old rundown bookstore in town. It sounded perfect- quiet days surrounded by old literature, not a problem in sight.
"Crap", she muttered. "I forgot that was today! I can't remember the last time I slept in past 8 anyway, didn't even think of setting an alarm." Starting to panic and running to her wardrobe like a mad woman, she began throwing random combinations of outfits over her head in the direction of her bed. Realising she might actually need to look at said clothes, she spun around only to be greeted by the sight of her clothes being rather unhappily modelled by Jeremy.
"Really, 'Lena? This is what I get for trying to help?" His muffled voice came through her favourite flowery summer dress that was currently covering his face.
Letting out one of the first real laughs in a while, Elena took a step back to admire the chaos. While she was realising that there might have been a slightly easier was of deciding her outfit for her first day of work, Jeremy managed to manoeuvre himself out of the clothes pile that was dominating Elena's double bed, throwing a scarf over his shoulder as he ran from the room.
"Oh, and I forgot to tell you..." Jeremy poked his head back around the door, just as Elena was starting to sort through the heap. "You're on an afternoon shift today, remember?" Laughing, her brother made his escape, avoiding the pillows thrown at his retreating form.
"I'll get you back for that, Jer! Don't you worry!" She shouted, muttering under her breath. Her earlier panic quickly fading, she sat down in the heaps of clothes on her bed, laughing quietly to herself. While her brother could be a nightmare, she knew without him life would not be the same.
Clearly deemed to have had enough quiet time, Elena's phone beeped from her side table.
- TOMORROW NIGHT, MOVIE NIGHT! BE THERE OR I'LL DRAG YOU THERE ANYWAY! C x -
Always the way with Caroline, she was a force to be reckoned with. However, Friday night with the girls sounded like just the start to her plan she needed. Grabbing her journal, she wrote a few words before underlining them numerous times. 'Operation: Live' was a go, and her life was about to begin again. It wasn't so much a bucket list as a 'needing to move on with her life and live it' list. They had all been focused on saving the day and themselves for so long that it had consumed her life, she knew nothing else but running from Klaus' clutches and plotting ways to do away with him. It was certainly overdue for that to end. Today was just the start.
Deciding to start with something simple, and something she had been debating for a while, she scrawled in her journal.
'1: Do something for you to start the return to the land of the living'. First things first, she would start with herself. For too long she had been the scared little girl hiding behind her hair, and it had eventually reached the point where it defined who she was; it was getting chopped.