A/N: This is a prequel to my previous drabbles/oneshots, "Ebbtide" and "Familiar Shore", taking place in my headcanon alternate reality where Thane lives. As always, Shrios angst and ME3 spoilers ahead. ;)
"Enough"
o.O.o
As the galaxy's forces close in around Earth and the Citadel, I find myself on the hanar flagship, Transcendence. Ground troops are already in the midst of battle. I watch the reports that flash across a nearby screen, wishing I could be with them. I have been training the drell spies and assassins, studying the Reaper forces for weak points, looking for the most efficient methods of killing them. Though I know I have done much good, I curse the slowness of my recovery from surgery. I feel strongly that I should be fighting alongside my brothers and sisters in arms. I should be fighting beside my siha.
Another pang of fear joins my already twisted insides. I am afraid for Shepard, even as panic for news of Kolyat threatens the calm I have drawn around myself out of necessity. The two anchors of my life, and I know nothing of what they are now facing. I watch the Citadel, praying for my son's safety. I watch the Earth, praying likewise for Siha's.
Hours pass. Like the few other drell on the water-filled bridge, I wear a breathing mask as I swim about the room. The hanar will sometimes drain the ship for the comfort of the drell, but efficiency is of the utmost importance today. There is little for me to do now but wait and watch the battle unfold. I provide insight when I can. Destroyer-class Reapers are weaker in the legs than the Capital Ships. Banshees have fragile necks, but only if one can get past their biotic barriers; missile launchers are quicker and safer, if one can spare them.
"Thane Krios," the hanar communications officer says in a shimmering blue light. "This one has intercepted a communication for you from the Alliance base on Earth. It has taken the liberty of draining the briefing room so that one might speak more naturally."
My heart pounds. "Thank you," I reply, and swim towards a hatch in the ceiling.
The hatch opens to a dry room that contains a holographic communications system and little else. I pull myself through and remove the breathing mask. I step behind the comm controls.
"Mister Krios?" a voice sounds over the speakers.
"Yes, go ahead."
"I have Commander Shepard for you. Patching her through."
The holographic projector flickers to life. Siha materializes before me. Colorless. Translucent. Alive. "Siha," I sigh, relieved to see her whole.
A smile touches her lips. "Thane." Her voice is warm with my name.
"Are you well?" Even though details are difficult to see in her image, I can tell that her armor is scratched and scuffed. I see the weariness in her eyes. The battle has been difficult.
"Doing okay so far," she replies with a lightness I can tell she does not feel. "How have the hanar been treating you?"
"They have been most considerate," I tell her. "Though, I am no longer accustomed to being under water so much."
Curiosity flickers behind her eyes. She always wants to know more about every alien culture she encounters. I make a silent promise to show her a hanar ship. One day. "But that is not why you have contacted me."
Siha shakes her head. "No, it's not. Whatever happens, I feel like this war is close to ending, for better or for worse."
I wish to be optimistic. I want to deny that life in this galaxy may cease to exist within a matter of hours. Sometimes optimism is cruel. Sometimes it is necessary. "You will see it through. You always do."
"But will it be enough?" she asks in a quiet voice. The doubt and fear she allows only me to see has bubbled to the surface. Her eyes search my face for answers.
"You have always been enough." I reach out as if to touch her. Apparition though it may be, her hand extends to meet mine. "Never question that. You are a warrior angel of the goddess Arashu. The Reapers will bow before your wrath."
Siha gives a short laugh. "You sound so sure."
I smile. "Because I know you. When you set your mind to a task, there is nothing that can stop you from finishing it."
It comes upon her slowly, but after a moment, her face comes alight with a smile of her own. "You always know what to say to make me feel better."
"I only speak what I know to be true."
She kisses her fingertips and presses them to my lips. "I love you, Thane Krios. I… I don't want to say goodbye."
"Then don't," I tell her. "We have said enough goodbyes to each other for a lifetime. Only promise to return to me, so that we may begin a simpler life together."
"A simpler life, huh?" She glances around for a moment, at what is surely the devastation the Reapers have left in their wake. "Yeah, I can get behind that."
"Do you promise?" I feel childish, but worry bites at my stomach. I need to hear the words.
She hesitates. "I… promise to do my best, Thane."
It is not the same, but I will not make her a liar. I nod. "That is enough." I mimic her earlier gesture, kissing my fingertips and pressing them against her ghost-like lips. "Take care of yourself, my siha. For I love you as well."
Siha gives another small smile and takes a step backward. I am about to close the connection when her voice stops me.
"Hey, Thane?"
I turn to her.
"If something happens…" Her chest swells with a shuddering breath. "You know where I'll be waiting."
Her image disappears.
My heart twists in my chest. It is several moments before I am able to gather myself and return to the bridge below.
She will return to me. She must.
Sometimes optimism is not enough. Sometimes all one is left with is faith.